October 1998
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Two funny parables not found in the bible

Jesus was famous for teaching through his parables, or stories with a moral to them. Though most of our knowledge of him comes from the BibLe, there are a few parables about Jesus not found in the Bible that we think will make you laugh, and make you think too.

Parable Number One:

Jesus was walking down the beach one day when he saw a little boy who seemed sad. Being the son of God and all, Jesus decicded to cheer him up, and he sis so with a little joke:

"Little boy, what do you think was the last thing that went through an insects mind when it got smashed on a windshield?" Jesus asked.

"I don't know..." the boy answered.

"Why it's ass, of course!" Jesus shouted, laughing joyfully. "Now, what do you think was the last thing that went through Abraham Lincoln's head before he died?"

"A.... a bullet?"

"Yes, that's right!" Jesus laughed, harder than the last time. "Now, what was the last thing going through my mind when I died for your sins on the cross?"

"Umn.... how much you love us?" the boy tried.

"No! A bunch of thorns, of course!" Jesus doubled over, racked with laughter. "Now, what was the last thing to go through my wrists and ankles?"

"..."

"Give up? Big huge spikes! Ha ha ha!" And with that, Jesus left the boy, never to be seen again.

Parable Number Two:

Jesus walked into an inn and the innkeeper asked if he would like to stay the night.

"Yes, I would, but I have no money to pay you," Jesus replied.

"That's okay. I will gladly barter with you for other goods or services. You could pay off the night's stay if you only help me fix my fence tomorrow."

Jesus, a carpenter, handed the man three nails and said,

"Do you have any Bactine?"


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