Title: Panic at the Disco
Author: Moonshayde
Season: Nine
Category: Humor
Spoilers: None, aside for it being S9
Pairing/Character: Team
Summary: Sometimes you have to take one for the team.
Warnings: None
Rating: PG
Disclaimer:
Stargate, Stargate SG-1 and all of its characters, titles, names, and
back-story are the property of MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko
Productions, SciFi Channel, and Showtime/Viacom. All other characters, the
story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author. This story
cannot be printed anywhere without the sole permission of the author. Realize this is for entertainment purposes
only; no financial gain or profit has been gained from this fiction. This story
is not meant to be an infringement on the rights of the above-mentioned
establishments
When SG-1 opened the large
metal doors, they hadn't expected a disco.
Strobe lights, flashing
colors, smoke, and loud music – the whole room popped in a cacophony of sound
across an acid tripping visual spectrum. Aliens twirled, humans bopped, and
machines screeched across the sparkling floor.
SG-1 stared on in disbelief.
"We gated to a party
planet?" Cameron asked.
Daniel shot him an impatient
look. "I'm sure it's a lot more complex than that."
A feisty little green woman
took that moment to pause and wink at Daniel with two of her three black eyes.
He frowned.
"Or not," Sam said
with a grin.
The occupants continued to
dance to the alien beats, paying no mind to the four newcomers who stood with
their perplexed stares. Some of the creatures looked like they were making out.
Some humans were definitely making out. Others were ordering drinks at what had
to be the local bar, while even others had ventured to a stage at the front of
the room.
"Whoa," Cameron
said, his eyes lighting up. "Is that alien karaoke?"
Sure enough, on the stage,
there was a tripod with two heads singing a duet to a song that sounded like a
goat bleating to tin cans.
"That's not something
you see everyday," Daniel muttered.
"Yes, you do," Sam
said.
The three of them turned to
look at Sam. She shrugged her shoulders. "Teal'c, don't you remember
P3C-818?"
Teal'c arched his eyebrow.
"The Longogans,"
Sam explained. "They had that big stage in their village. Jonas sang
karaoke with the high priestess."
Teal'c's eyes twinkled with
understanding. "He performed well."
Sam nodded. "They loved
him."
"They loved him?"
Cameron stroked his chin thoughtfully before shaking his head. "I never
read that report."
"Jonas begged General
O'Neill not to let that go on public record," Sam said, sounding
apologetic.
Cameron stared at her for a
moment before he turned to Daniel. "She's not yanking my chain?"
Daniel shrugged. "I
wouldn't know." He glanced over to Sam and Teal'c. "But it sounds
like something he would do."
That was all that Cameron
needed to hear. He turned from the rest of SG-1 and headed for the stage. The
three of them watched him make his way through various aliens and humanoids
before he jumped on stage.
"Jonas never sang
karaoke, did he?" Daniel asked with a knowing smile.
Sam grinned.
"Nope."
"He never partook of
singing on the worlds we visited nor on Earth," Teal'c added.
Daniel chuckled. "This
needs to be taped."
Teal'c held up the small
recorder in his hands and smiled. Sam and Daniel exchanged a mischievous look.
"Damn!" The three
turned to the sound of Cameron. He scratched his head, staring at the alien
text on the small visual display. "Jackson!"
Daniel's smile dipped. Both
Teal'c and Sam waited expectantly for him to assist Cameron. With a sigh, he
worked his way through the crowd and walked on stage. After a long pause,
Daniel started to rattle off a quick translation of the text.
The visual display blinked
on and off. Daniel stood straighter, searching the crowd. "Sam!"
Sam groaned and knocked back
her head. "I'll be right back," she told Teal'c.
Sam squeezed through the
crowd and climbed on stage. She came to stand beside Cameron and Daniel and the
large microphone. As the crowd waited, she demonstrated to Daniel and Cameron
how to make sure the visual display kept to the tune of the music.
But in the crowd, Teal'c
stood alone, a wide grin on his face as he held the camera high.
* * *
*
"This better be worth
it."
A small tape rested in the
middle of the desk. Quietly, Teal'c nudged it forward. "I believe you will
find the blackmail material to be sufficient."
Jack arched his eyebrows.
"All three, you say?"
"Indeed."
Jack tapped his fingers on
his desk, eyeing the tape carefully. Finally, he grabbed it and opened his
drawer. He tossed a set of keys at Teal'c, who easily caught them with one
hand.
"It's all yours.
Garaged back in Colorado. Hank has the directions."
Teal'c gave Jack a slight
bow. "It has been a pleasure to see you again, O'Neill."
Jack held up the tape.
"The pleasure's been all mine."
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