Title: Double Entendres
Author: Moonshayde
Season: Nine
Category: Humor
Spoilers: None
Pairing/Character: Jack, Sam, Daniel, and Teal'c
Summary: Why's SG-1 so fascinated with Jack?
Warnings: None
Rating: G
Author's Notes: If you haven't seen RDA's MacGyver
MasterCard commercial, go now. ;)
Disclaimer: Stargate, Stargate SG-1 and all of its
characters, titles, names, and back-story are the property of MGM/UA, Double
Secret Productions, Gekko Productions, SciFi Channel, and Showtime/Viacom. All
other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of
the author. This story cannot be printed anywhere without the sole permission
of the author. Realize this is for
entertainment purposes only; no financial gain or profit has been gained from
this fiction. This story is not meant to be an infringement on the rights of
the above-mentioned establishments
The doorbell hadn't even
rung twice when Jack swung the door open. The excitement the former SG-1 felt
over seeing Jack again quickly vanished and was replaced with…
The three of them stood
there, stunned, staring at Jack's head. Sam and Daniel could have easily been
mirror images of each other – their mouths open, their eyes wide – while
Teal'c, the most subdued as always, only cocked his head. Slowly, Daniel
started to raise his finger to point, but Sam quickly snatched his wrist and
brought it to his side.
"Hey," Jack said
as if nothing had ever changed. "You got here on time."
"No problems with the
flight, sir," Sam said with a forced smile, nudging Daniel in the ribs for
him to shut his mouth.
"As there has been a
lull in activity both on Dakara and the SGC, we were able to entertain your
request," Teal'c said.
"Though, I guess it can
be said that you've been entertaining yourself…" Daniel said, his gaze
still riveted to Jack's head.
Jack frowned.
"What?"
"Nevermind," Daniel
said under his breath. He didn't bother to look at Sam, knowing full well her
glare was burning a hole in his neck.
Jack just shrugged, taking a
swig from the beer bottle he'd been holding. With the wave of his hand, he
beckoned them to come inside and take a look around.
Daniel had already been here
before, months earlier when he, Vala, General Landry and Teal'c had come to DC
to try to appeal for more funding. Shaking away the unpleasant memory, he eyed
the room and noticed Jack hadn't really done much with the place since then. He
guessed Jack had been busy with other priorities.
He stared at Jack's head.
"So, how go
things?" Jack said. He led them into the kitchen where he had a bunch of
paper products thrown over the table.
Sam took the liberty of
answering first as she started to set the paper plates and cups onto the table.
"Not bad, sir. Everyone seems to be settling in fine."
"We have had some
problems on Dakara, but I am confident that we will overcome them," Teal'c
said.
"And Mitchell?"
Jack asked.
"He's very up,"
Daniel replied, thinking about how at times Cameron Mitchell reminded him of
Jonas. "He loves the job, for sure. Though, sometimes I feel like we're
the tortoise to his hare."
Daniel turned his head at
the sound of a snort that quickly morphed into a cough. Sam tapped her chest a
couple of times before giving Daniel another pointed look. "Sorry,"
she said. "I must have swallowed wrong."
"On what?" Jack
asked. "The air?"
Sam didn't reply and
continued setting the table. Daniel felt like he owed her and moved to help
her. She gave him another disgusted look, but didn't reprimand him. After he
placed the knives and forks down, he smiled and leaned into her.
"Mid-life crisis,"
he whispered.
She chuckled, shook her head,
and moved away. Jack had shifted from the petty small talk he hated so much
into a full detailed report on the upcoming Superbowl. Teal'c nodded every few
words or so, but Daniel could see he was in desperate need of rescue.
"The table is all
set," Sam announced. She and Daniel didn't miss the relief on Teal'c's
face.
"Great," Jack
said, clapping his hands together. "Pizza should be here any time."
"We have traveled great
lengths to meet you, O'Neill. You have not prepared us a meal yourself?"
Jack just stared at him.
"Look, you hurt
Teal'c's feelings," Daniel said, feigning a pout.
Jack rolled his eyes.
"It's not like Teal'c would have eaten anything anyway. Would you,
Teal'c?"
"I would not."
"Not when all the
ingredients are beer," Sam added.
"Hey." Jack looked
wounded. "My food's good. Speaking of food, Landry keeping you
well-stocked?"
The three of them exchanged
knowing glances. Jack was doing anything he could to stay in the loop and feel
like he was part of the process, even if he technically still had access to
everything anyway. Daniel felt he was probably just a little lonely.
"Of course, sir."
Daniel nodded. "We even
get snacks at three and then naptime for an hour."
Jack glared at him.
"Funny."
"Yeah, though not as
funny as—"
Sam grabbed Daniel's hand
and brought it back to his side.
"So…anything else?
Anything exciting?"
Daniel shrugged. "Oh,
you know. Just one hair-raising experience after another."
Sam coughed again, this time
more loudly. Quickly, she raised her hand to her mouth and bit her lip in a
miserable attempt to hide her laughter.
"What?" Jack
asked, beginning to lose patience. "What is it?"
"Nothing," Daniel
said. "We're just dyeing to see you."
At this point, both Sam and
Teal'c were grinning, unabashedly reveling in the joke. Daniel continued to
keep his subdued but smug grin – the one he'd learned from Jack – on his face.
Jack seemed the least amused.
Sighing, Jack placed his
beer on the coffee table and glared at Daniel. "Alright. That's enough.
Are you done?"
"Noo…actually, I was
just getting started. Or," he gestured with the wave of his hand to Jack's
head, "more aptly I should say you were."
"That's nice,"
Jack said flatly. "All the ladies at the office love it."
"I'm sure they do, sir,"
Sam said, suppressing a giggle.
"Indeed," Teal'c
added with a smile of his own.
"It wasn't supposed to
come out like this," Jack said in defense, pointing to his head. "The
damn box lied to me."
Sam looked like she was
going to burst at this point. "Lied to you, sir?"
Jack sighed heavily, his
patented exasperated look returning to his face.
Daniel just grinned.
"Come on, Jack. And what kind of friends would we be if we didn't say
anything?"
"It is the Tau'ri
way."
The doorbell rang and Jack
walked away from them, shaking his head. Daniel felt a little sorry over his
behavior, but not enough to keep him from just one more.
"Remember what they
say, Jack." He smiled at his friend as they walked toward the door.
"Hair today; gone tomorrow."
Daniel chuckled over his own
little joke and noticed this time that Jack wasn't frowning. With a clap to
Daniel's shoulder, Jack leaned over and smiled at him.
"Yeah, and when you're
in your fifties, we'll revisit this conversation."
And for the first time that
day, Daniel had nothing to say.
The End
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