Title: Bound By Fate

Author: Moonshayde

Season: Eight

Category: Friendship. Drama/Angst. Missing scenes for Rising (Atlantis pilot)

Spoilers: Major Spoilers for New Order and Rising (Atlantis)

Pairing/Character: Jack/Daniel

Summary:  When Daniel resolves to enter through the Stargate to the find the lost city of Atlantis, Jack is forced to find a way to convince Daniel staying behind is best for him.

Rating: PG-13

 

Thanks to Wallace and the other Kerri for betaing this one!

 

 

Out of the all the damn places.

 

The great big wide Earth. It’s friggin’ huge. Seven continents. (Last time he counted, anyway.) Tons of cities and countries.  It could have been anywhere.

 

Nope, out of all the places on this planet, it had to be Antarctica.

 

Antarctica. The last place he wanted to be.

 

No, no. Not Hawaii. Couldn’t have been Hawaii. Or even the Bahamas. No sense sticking an outpost on a nice little beach somewhere, pina colada in one hand, some swell lass in the other.

 

Of course not. The Ancients had to pick Antarctica.

 

Perfect.

 

A knock on the door brought Jack out of his thoughts. With a snort, he motioned to the closed door, and cleared his throat.

 

"Yeah, come in."

 

Carter opened the door a crack, and poked her head through the small space.  Her hesitance threw him for a loop, and he wondered if everyone was going to be walking on eggshells for a while, after his promotion and all.

 

Did he really have that much of a reputation?

 

"You can walk in, you know."

 

She smiled sheepishly and nodded, opening the door to enter.  Then, she grinned, you know, one of those just-here-to-be-nice types of smiles, before moving to stand in front of his desk.

 

Standing a little too rigid, if you asked him.

 

"At ease, Colonel," he said, and had to admit, it sounded a little funny to his own ears.

 

She nodded, and breathed out. "I guess I am just not used to seeing you…here," she said.

 

"Well, I’m not used to being…here."

 

It was true. Really, he hardly ever spent any time in his old office. Now he was expected to be holed up in this office all day?  What the hell had he been thinking?

 

"I’m sure you’ll get used to it, Sir." Carter smiled softly.

 

Or was that a devious smile? Jack eyed the new Lieutenant Colonel suspiciously, which just caused her to smile more.

 

"What can I do for you, Carter?" he asked, trying to sound like he hadn’t a care in the world.

 

"Well, Sir, I just wanted to see you off before your big trip."

 

Oh, yeah. Definitely devious. She was smiling even harder now.

 

"Sure you don’t want to come?" he offered with a wicked smile of his own.

 

"Sir, as much as I would love to go Antarctica--"

 

"Lots of toys, do-hickeys, gadgets…" He grinned and raised his eyebrows, daring her. "You can't resist it. You'll be in heaven."

 

She pretended to think about the offer, but shook her head. "I'm sorry but I've already been to Antarctica, Sir. Twice."

 

"Yeah, we had fun!" He couldn't stop the tease once he got going.

 

"I'm going to pass, Sir."

 

"Do-hickeys, Carter. I said do-hickeys."

 

"I heard you quite clearly, Sir." She smiled. "Besides, Daniel promised me he'd bring me something back."

 

"Ah." Jack leaned back in his seat.

 

Of course he did. Daniel was worse than she was. And speaking of Daniel…

 

The linguist had sprinted off this base in such a hurry that Jack hadn't even seen him leave. Sure, Jack knew that to Daniel the icy, cold outpost would be like a candy store. Still yet another way for Daniel to push past the limits. But did he have to run off the base like it was the plague?

 

Was it so awful to be in the same compound as Jack? The two of them were buddies, compadres, something something…

 

Daniel seemed fine. He'd been right beside him the whole time on Thor's ship, and then back in Daniel's office where the four of them had talked, and then for Jack's promotion, and then for Carter's promotion, and then he split.

 

Jack twisted at the corner of a file on his desk, feeling the ragged edges scraping his skin. Why had he just left?

 

Jack decided at another attempt to diffuse his mind. "Did I say do-hickeys?"

 

She chuckled. " I believe you did, Sir."

 

Well, contrary to popular belief, Jack wasn't as stupid as he looked, or sounded sometimes. That twinkle in her eyes, the spring in her step, her lack of getting orgasmic over the mere mention of technology…everything was blatantly clear to Jack.

 

He was about to call her on it, when he noticed the big guy standing in the hallway.  Flashing yet another winning grin, Jack motioned with his hand for Carter to scoot over, and then beckoned Teal'c with his other hand. 

 

Teal'c entered, bowing slightly, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Jack's gaze wasn't really centered on the smile, though, as he glanced upward.

 

Damn, it was going to take awhile to get used to the hair.

 

"I came to wish you well on your journey, O'Neill."

 

"What? Not coming?"

 

Teal'c smiled again. "As honored as I would be to accompany you, O'Neill, I have other matters that are in need of my attention."

 

Sounded more and more like people giving him the shaft. "Oh?" Jack asked with a raise of his eyebrow.

 

Teal'c, the master of the arch, returned the gesture, but skimped on any explanation. Teal'c always was a grand spokesman.

 

"You sure?" Jack asked, pressing further.

 

"I am certain, O'Neill." Teal'c gave him the look. You know, the look that screamed end of discussion.

 

Okay, so it would just be him and a bunch of scientists in the snow.

 

Sweet…

 

"Well, all righty then. I suppose I have a plane to catch." Jack stood and smoothed out his uniform, studying his subordinates. They just smiled back.

 

So, they get to stay back and he goes to a frozen wasteland. What happened to being able to do whatever he wanted?

 

Breathing out, preparing himself for one not so fun trip, Jack motioned to the door with a grand sweeping gesture. "Now, if you don't mind…"

 

Carter and Teal'c got the hint. They moved out of his office and he followed them, closing the door behind him.

 

"Oh, and Carter?"

 

She paused. "Sir?"

 

"Tell Pete I said hi."

 

She blinked a couple of times, and moved to answer, but Jack beat her to it.

 

"And Teal'c, don't stay out too late with Ishta. Gate curfew and all."

 

Jack didn't even wait to see their expressions. Hell, they should know better with him being general and all, but he wouldn't let that fact spoil his fun. With a grin, and a hop to his step, he started down the corridor, humming to himself, and wondered just what he could do to make this the fastest trip ever.

 

Antarctic Outpost—Post Presentation

 

 

Okay, so that didn't go so well.

 

Jack tapped his foot on the frozen ground, trying to regroup, thinking of his next tactic.

 

He knew even before he'd set foot onto the outpost there was going to be a problem. There was never not a problem. Antarctica was a problem.

 

Aside from the stupidity of the Ancients to build on this god-forsaken continent, and the stupidity of people who wanted to research on said god-forsaken continent, you can't rule out the genius factor.

 

Smart people are drawn to trouble. Therefore, Jack gets stuck in the middle.

 

Now, he wasn't just talking about the drone incident. Stuff like that was starting to be normal for Jack, sadly enough.  So, it made his flight a little more interesting. Nothing like nearly getting blown out of the sky by a renegade Ancient drone thing. Major Sheppard held up well and Jack was grateful for his skills. That boy would do fine. But, no need to get blown to smithereens right after getting thawed. Nope.

 

But put yourself on a base full of scientists who have no other goal than to discover, research, explore, and plead for "the greater good of all humanity" and you get not only a headache, but also a battle royale.

 

Especially when the idea is too stupid for even these eggheads to understand.

 

One-way trip.  Now, that's not too hard to understand. Jack understands it. Anyone with a friggin' clue understands it.  But to scientists, do-gooders, and morally overdosed humanitarians one-way doesn't compute.  Their eyes sorta just glaze over, and they look at you sorta quizzically, as if you did not understand the concepts of sacrifice and valor. To them, it's just another step on human evolutionary scale, and of course it will pay off in the end. Even if they can't come back.

 

So, being the pragmatic and logical one in the "dances with clouds" group, Jack said no. No way. Not gonna happen.

 

His response? Oh, Daniel's little pissy look. The look that, for some reason, sets off every single good and bad thought in Jack's mind. All at once, he wanted to sit back and enjoy the emotion filled lecture as Daniel poured his heart out over a case he'd won minutes ago while at the same time reaching over and strangling the man.

 

Not coming back. What part of "not coming back" does Daniel not understand?

 

He reminded Jack of that first time, years ago, when Daniel did his first little presentation. The guy had cracked the code to the Stargate, sending the military into a tizzy, and allowed for the formation of the first team to enter through the Gate.

 

Daniel had flat out told West he could bring them home. Jack knew right then and there he was full of shit. Daniel wanted to go, wanted to explore, and wanted to validate his theories. It didn't matter what the cost. For the good of all humanity…The problem was Daniel didn't always do what was best for Daniel.

 

But the bugger had figured out how to come back. Jack gave him credit for that feat. But luck wouldn't always be on the good doctor's side.

 

No, if Daniel went on this mission, there was no guarantee he would come home. Not this time.

 

Jack was unsure that Daniel was willing to deal with that fact. Jack sure the hell wasn't.

 

Swallowing down the lump that had made an appearance in his throat, Jack mustered up the strength to continue.

 

No sense just standing out in a frozen hallway. Time to head back into the lion's den.

 

Standing tall, Jack walked, or maybe swaggered, into the room behind him.

 

"I thought I told you to leave," came Daniel's hostile voice.

 

"I did." Jack opened his arms wide. "I'm back now."

 

"Wonderful. Come to gloat some more?"

 

Jack ignored him. Didn't Daniel know by now he wouldn't crack so easily?

 

"Actually, I came back to try and talk some sense into that thick head of yours."

 

"Oh, thanks for putting that so kindly."

 

"You're welcome." Jack frowned, watching Daniel shove books, do-hickeys, and paperwork into his bag. "Going somewhere?

 

"As a matter of fact, yes," Daniel replied, never bothering to look at Jack. "I am going to talk to Doctor Weir."

 

Ah, nice try. Not going to work.

 

"You forget Doctor Weir reports to me.  If I tell her no, it's no."

 

"It's her expedition."

 

"Yup, and I have the final say. That is why I am general."

 

With a thud, Daniel slammed down a book. "Oh, what, so you're going to try to pull rank on me?"

 

"General," Jack enunciated slowly. He pointed to his jacket, tapping it three times just for good measure. "I get to do what I want. I run Stargate Command."

 

"Yeah, you know, I'm starting to wish I hadn't said that."

 

"Too late." Jack frowned this time, watching Daniel is his pursuit of packing. He really was serious. He wasn't letting up. He really was intent on leaving. Damn him. "Daniel…"

 

"What?" The man was glowering at him. "What do you want me to say?  I have been working very hard on this and now, now that we know what we have to do and where we can go, and how we can do it, I am supposed to just let someone else go and see it?"  Daniel shook his head. "That's just not fair, Jack."

 

Jack wanted to say life's not fair, but thought better of it. He settled on something else. "You did the important part. You figured it all out. Now, step back and let someone else try."

 

Those words seemed to placate Daniel a bit, but Jack knew this was far from over.

 

"The lost city of Atlantis," Daniel stressed.  "Do you have any idea how important this is?"

 

"I do. And that is why I am going to let Weir and her crew go."

 

"I am part of Weir's crew."

 

"Not exactly." Jack inwardly cringed seeing Daniel's cheeks puff out. He licked his bottom lip, attempting a rebound. "You report to me, Daniel. You are part of Stargate Command. All these other people aren't. You have to stay here."

 

"Why?" Daniel adjusted his glasses, causing Jack to nearly miss the smoldering look in his eyes. "This is one of the most important endeavors in the history of humankind. Just think about all—"

 

"Not with the humanity crap again, Daniel," Jack muttered, rubbing his temple. "Just stop. Look, I know you want to go, but the answer is no. You're not going. That's it."

 

"What about the language?  I read Ancient, Jack. How many people do you know who can do that?" Daniel said, pursing his lips together.

 

So, Daniel was pulling out all the stops now. Desperate.

 

"They have some technology or something they can interface with the Ancient stuff. I think they're all set."

 

"The Ancients. This is a city of the Ancients." Daniel's voice was definitely rising, and the emotion that he was pumping out was setting Jack off in all the wrong ways. "Do you have any idea how important that is to me?"

 

"No, I don't," he admitted honestly. "But you did the whole Ancient track before and you didn't like it. We both know, and oh don't you dare make that face at me, that once you get there, and have your fun, you'll want to come back. And you won't be able to get back to Earth. Then, you'll be miserable. And you'll develop some guilt complex. Why do that to yourself? Why?"

 

Daniel was certainly livid. He was so bristled that Jack thought he saw his hair standing on end.

 

"How dare you tell me what I think and feel!"

 

"Because I know you!" Jack shouted, shaking his hand at Daniel. "We've been through this how many times?  You got curious on Abydos. You wanted to stay on Heliopolis. You didn't want to leave Kheb." Jack shook his head. "Daniel, you've tried this over and over again. Deep down, deep down, I know that you know I'm right. I know you're smarter than that."

 

Wrong thing to say.

 

Daniel glared at him, his eyes wide. "Are you trying to say that all my pursuits have no meaning?"

 

"No," Jack replied, more bite to his voice than he had wanted. He was annoyed. Worse than annoyed, Jack was downright pissed. "Don't you put words in my mouth."

 

Daniel crossed his arms. "Then stop trying to dictate what I'm feeling."

 

"Fine, then."

 

"Fine."

 

And that was it. The two men just stood there, staring. Maybe they were getting too old for this. Or maybe they had some other kind of communication that didn't quite need words to be heard.

 

Daniel was the first one to speak.

 

"I want to be able to learn more about the Ancients. Maybe learn more about what happened to me."

 

"I know," Jack said solemnly. He knew how much Daniel needed to understand his place, and why he had been sent back without any of his memory. "We'll figure it out, when the time is right."

 

"What…what if this is my only chance?"

 

Daniel's voice was only slightly above a whisper, but it cut through Jack just the same. He hated what the Ancients had done to Daniel, and he loved them at the same time for what they'd done for Daniel. Why couldn't the younger man just accept what had happened and put it behind him?  He was back now, back where he belonged, and Jack wasn't about to let him go.

 

That realization shook Jack a little, giving him an uncomfortable feeling that rattled him down to his toes.

 

He truly needed Daniel here. This whole job, this whole life of his would be empty, and he'd be back to the place he was over a year ago, if Daniel wasn't here.

 

"What?" Daniel asked, disentangling his arms, frowning as he obviously picked up on the subtle shift in his mood.

 

"Uh…" Jack wasn't sure how to continue. "Nothing. I was just thinking that you know, you'll have your chance. Just not this way."

 

Daniel sighed, and Jack knew if they continued, there was going to be another fight.

 

"Come on, Jack. This kind of mission. This is-is something I am perfect for. This is my life's work."

 

Jack rolled his eyes. "No, it's not. Egypt is your life's work. Stop getting all melodramatic. It's not going to change my mind."

 

"Melodramatic?"

 

Yup, here we go…

 

"I am not being melodramatic," Daniel said in a huff. "This is important. It's beyond you and it's beyond me."

 

"Right. Which means you stay here and they go there."

 

Daniel shook his head. "Why are you being such an ass about this?"

 

"Excuse me?" No, he wasn't even going to let Daniel answer. "I said no, Daniel. You're staying here and that's final. We need you back on the base at Stargate Command."

 

"Why?"

 

"Why? What 'why?'" Jack asked, frowning. "Because I need you here. What, do I need to spell it out for you?"

 

"But why?" Daniel licked his lips, and started making nonsensical gestures with his hands. "I'm a civilian. There are plenty of other people that can work on my research. But this—"

 

"Perhaps you weren't listening. I said I need you here."

 

"Yes, yes. I heard you." Daniel's last stand. The rapid movement, and the quick speech.  "But what I am trying to say—"

 

Jack just blocked him out. No sense even trying to get through to Daniel until he was finished. If he wanted to be a blockhead and not listen to what Jack was saying, so be it. Jack was never good at this whole acknowledgement thing—it's always easy to make some off-color sarcastic comment than to compliment.

 

So, Jack just waited, allowing Daniel to go on and on. Normally, he only feigned like he wasn't listening. But today he just wasn't in the mood.

 

"Jack?"

 

Shaking himself out of his thoughts, Jack smiled guiltily at Daniel, like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. In return, Daniel's face only became more pensive, and he crossed his arms over his chest, studying Jack crossly.

 

"So, you need me?  You don’t even listen to me!"

 

"No, I meant what I said." Jack began to feel a little out of place, shifting awkwardly in his spot.

 

"What I'm saying is that the SGC has linguists and archaeologists. I've been replaced before, you--"

 

Jack froze, his glare silencing Daniel immediately. Jack could tell the younger man was already sorry for saying what he said, but that did nothing, nothing at all, to curb the anger and the hurt pounding through Jack's body.

 

"You think that's funny?" Jack marched around the table, bringing himself eye to eye with Daniel. "You think it's funny to just pick up your stuff and walk away and not give a damn about those you leave behind?"

 

Daniel was speechless. Jack had actually made the linguist a mute.

 

Jack didn't take the chance to revel in his victory. Daniel had pushed all the wrong buttons, and he just wasn't going to tolerate it anymore.

 

"You think it's fun to run off like that?"

 

Daniel glared at him, not the least bit intimidated. "I am not running off."

 

"Then why'd you leave the base so fast anyway? What the hell scared you off?  I am out of commission for a few months, and then you just split?" Jack snarled at him, grabbing him by his jacket, and pulled him close. Ignoring the confused look on Daniel's face, he continued, refusing to consider why he was so damn angry. "What, now that you and Weir can't run the show, you can't take it and you leave?"

 

Shit.

 

Jack had never seen Daniel so hurt, horrified, and absolutely furious in all his life. The emotion that was etched in that stunned face was enough to make Jack want to run and flee. He wasn't sure if Daniel would cry, turn away, or just flat out deck him.

 

"That's what you think of me? That's what you think of me and my work?" Daniel's eyes darkened. "You think I am just some glory hound? Me?  The man who was laughed right out of the archaeological community?"

 

Damn. Double damn.

 

Jack let him go. "Then why did you pack up and take off like that?"

 

"You know, it's not even important," Daniel said hotly, waving his hands dismissively. "And at this point, I wouldn't tell you anyway. I'm going to talk to Weir."

 

"Not if I reach her first."

 

"Jack!"

 

"You know what? Fine. You want to run off and play with aliens. You do that. I don't care anymore." 

 

With that, Jack turned and marched out of Daniel's makeshift office, leaving the stunned archaeologist behind and headed into one of the long corridors of the outpost. He didn't care about the strange looks people were giving him. He didn't care if he nearly knocked over their projects. Who should be doing work under ground in the ice anyway?

 

Okay, so bad comparison.

 

Jack sighed, slowing himself down, trying to calm his rattled nerves.

 

Maybe he should just back and apologize.

 

Or maybe not. Maybe it was about time to let Daniel stew.

 

Daniel. The man could be so impossible. Made Jack want to ring his neck.

 

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

 

What was more stupid is what Jack had just said to him. Gave him an open invitation to pack up and ship off. Nice one, O'Neill. Great job.

 

See? He knew coming here was a bad idea.

 

Antarctica was just a problem, no matter how you looked at it.

 

Shaking his head, Jack started to walk again, ducking out of the way of some scientist and his…long metal thing. He couldn't get away from them, he mused, glaring at the man as he hurried away.

 

Chewing on his lip, Jack supposed he should get the formalities done with Doctor Weir. The sooner he did that, the sooner he could accomplish his next goal—getting off this base.

 

Then, he could get home, and back to Colorado where the sun was shining and he had time to formulate some kind of plan to keep Daniel in this galaxy.

 

 Colorado

 

Where the hell had it all gone wrong?

 

Jack paced through his kitchen, nervously running his hands through his salt and pepper hair. He'd gone over this for weeks now. Every night. Trying to figure it out. He and Daniel, well, they'd just started to rework this friendship, and had gotten to a pretty good place until he had his head sucked by the head sucker again.  Now, he gets thawed and it's all over. He'd gone and screwed it up.

 

But he was angry. More than angry. Dealing with feelings wasn't Jack's strongest suit, but the mere fact that Daniel just didn't seem to care that when he left, that would be it, and he would be leaving people who cared about him behind, boiled Jack to the core. It was selfish. Daniel was selfish.

 

Now, the first few times Daniel had gotten killed, that wasn't his fault. Well, then, yes it was. If Daniel wasn't so damn noble; if Daniel didn't have this overbearing sense of morality; if Daniel wasn't so selfless….

 

Problem is Daniel needed to think more about himself than everyone else.

 

But a person could be selfless and selfish at the same time.

 

Jack swore, grabbing a beer from his fridge before slamming it shut. Now, Daniel was actively and willingly letting himself go with no guarantee he'd come back. No Oma Desala would come and sweep him away. No sarcophagus would be there to bring him back. No Asgard would be there to beam him home.

 

No, this could be it. The kind of end that had finality to it while still lacking closure.  Always left there, waiting, watching, unknowing.

 

Sorta like when he'd left Daniel on Abydos that first mission.  There was the constant pang of never knowing if the man was alive, or if he needed help.  Jack would peer through that telescope just wondering, and feeling miserable.

 

He hadn't even really known Daniel then. But when a guy dies for you, it's tough to let go.  It's just so damn hard.

 

Jack left himself alone with his misery, chasing down a few beers, and then just sitting in his living room, trying to cheer himself up with some old Simpsons tapes.

 

Homer just wasn't doing it for him tonight.

 

With a sigh, Jack switched off the TV set, sitting alone in the darkened room. He wondered how many beers he could drink to welcome unconsciousness.

 

Considering his possibilities, he was surprised to hear a knock on his door.  What time was it anyway? One in the morning?

 

With a grumble, Jack opened the door and found himself nose to nose with Daniel.

 

Jack grunted with surprise, only able to stare at the man on the other side. Talk about déjà vu. Jack had a good mind to just shut the door on him. But damn that man was just too quick. As if anticipating his move, Daniel wedged his foot in the door, preventing Jack from locking him out.  Easily, and maybe a little triumphantly, Daniel walked into the foyer, and stood there, waiting for Jack to move.

 

"It's late, Daniel."

 

"I know. You going to move?"

 

"Thinking about it."

 

That didn't deter Daniel.  Instead, he just closed the door and walked right by, and into Jack, making his way into the living room. Quickly, he made himself right at home.

 

"You don't get the hint, do you?" Jack asked wryly, shaking his head as he followed Daniel into the living room.

 

"Nope."

 

"When did your flight arrive?"

 

"A few of hours ago." Daniel leaned back into Jack's couch and breathed out. "Everything is basically packed up and has been sent to the SGC. We'll be able to ship out as soon as everyone's there."

 

Ah. Jack looked down at the floor, his gaze bouncing around for any kind of distraction.

 

"So, what's this? Your round of last good-byes?"

 

Daniel scowled. "You know I can't go unless I get your approval."

 

Jack nodded, pursing his lips. "Ah, so then this is your way of trying to butter me up into letting you go?"

 

Daniel sighed heavily, an angry sigh, and shook his head once. "Jack, can’t you even just hear me out for a second?"

 

A second? Listen to him? When Daniel apparently hadn't heard a word he'd said earlier? Oh, that was rich.

 

"What?" he asked curtly, clutching his bottle tightly.

 

"Oh, so now you're going to give me an attitude about it?"

 

"I always give you an attitude! Just say what you have to say already!"

 

His words had come out a little too fast, and had been a little too angry. If Daniel was hurt, or upset, he didn't show it this time. The fact that the other man was hiding behind this mask of secrecy, this veil of something else, bothered Jack. Frankly, it worried him.

 

Daniel always wore his heart on a sleeve.

 

"I need to go, Jack."

 

A statement so simple, yet painfully mournful. Daniel's tone, his distance, reminded Jack of another day, another event that happened a lifetime ago…

 

Frowning, Jack studied his companion carefully, trying to maneuver his way around the complexity that was Daniel.

 

Gone was the excitement over a new discovery. Gone was the buzz of newness, of a fresh idea that tended to explode in Daniel's big head. Gone was the life and power that energized the man beyond normal limits.

 

Gone was the hope.

 

One of the skills he'd learned over the years was how to read Daniel like a book. It took practice, and a certain savvy, but Jack prided himself on his efficiency.

 

This was…not right.

 

Chastising himself over his own angry and condescending tone, Jack eased himself down on the couch, sitting beside Daniel, but keeping enough distance between them to give Daniel room for comfort, for his own space.

 

Despite the room, Daniel's jaw tightened. He kept his gaze focused ahead, into some unknown place, refusing to turn to acknowledge Jack. Not obviously, anyway.

 

"Don't pity me," Daniel muttered coolly. "I just need to go. That's all."

 

Liar.

 

"What's going on?" Jack had to ask. Did Daniel really think he would let it go? Of course not. This was their way. This was the dance they did. "And don't tell me nothing, because you are a lousy liar."

 

Silence. No quip. No snarky remark. Nothing at all.

 

It was at that time Jack knew there was something wrong.

 

"Daniel?"

 

The other man breathed out, rubbing his hands over his thighs, all the while focusing on that nonexistent spot. "I already told you my reasons for needing to go. Aren't they good enough?"

 

No, thought Jack. You've given me every reason except the most important one.

 

"What's really going on here, Daniel?"

 

He sighed. "I-I didn't mean…what I said back there. At the base."

 

Well, Jack knew that. He wasn't an idiot. Angry people say stupid things. Hell, he'd—

 

"Yeah, well, you know…" Jack cleared his throat, taking another swig of beer and relishing the coolness as it slid down. "Me too," he finally said. "But you still can't go."

 

Daniel sighed again, and lowered his head. His very heavy head…

 

"Why don't you just tell me why you need to go? Just tell me. Straight out."

 

"You know how important the Ancients are to me, Jack. If I could have…" He allowed his voice to trail off, needing not say anything else.

 

Jack understood. It had taken everything in his power that day to stop Daniel from downloading the knowledge into his brain. Daniel needed that closure.

 

But Jack knew this wasn't the right time.

 

"I know," Jack said softly. "But there's no guarantee it's out there. The answers might be right here. If you're gone, you might miss out on them."

 

Daniel nodded. He'd already considered that, this Jack knew. Nope, his instincts told him this reached far deeper.

 

"Give it to me straight," Jack said again, only much softer.

 

If he bowed his head any lower…

 

"I just…with all the changes…"

 

Daniel immediately stilled and Jack knew the young man felt pinned. He'd revealed too much, left himself open, vulnerable.

 

"I should go," Daniel said suddenly, standing.

 

And Jack knew. Just knew he was on the verge of something.

 

"Daniel…"

 

But he didn't answer. Instead, he grabbed his jacket, tensing in that way he always did, and stiffly walked towards the door.

 

"Daniel," Jack said again, grabbing him by the arm. "Change is good."

 

This time Daniel only sighed in response, turning away from him.

 

Jack struggled hard to keep his anger in check. "Dammit, Daniel, if you didn't want me to take the job, why didn't you say so?"

 

"What?" Daniel snapped back, his blue eyes smoldering under his glasses.

 

"The job. The SGC."

 

The glare intensified, teetering between rage and shock. "You think I don't want you to enjoy your promotion?" Daniel swallowed hard. "Why? Why would you think something like that?"

 

"Well, look at the way you're acting!" Jack breathed out. "You go from arguing my case in front of Thor to hot-tailing it off the base." Narrowing his eyes, he continued. "What? Do you not trust my command?"

 

Daniel's mouth dropped open. "You've been in command all these years! If I had a problem, do you think I would have kept it to myself all this time?"

 

Jack steeled himself. That was a good point. Daniel always spoke his mind. Well, most of the time.

 

Maybe Jack wasn't looking at the big picture. Maybe Jack was letting his own insecurities get in the way.

 

"There's nothing wrong with change, Daniel."

 

Change was good, wasn't it? But just studying Daniel, watching the fluctuations of pain, suffering, and loss reflecting in his eyes told Jack a different story. It was in that look, that completely exposed look, that Jack finally found the answer he needed. It spoke to him.

 

There was nothing wrong with change, but for Daniel, there was.

 

"I thought you'd be okay with change," Jack said softly. "I mean, you fly from one dig to the next, right?"

 

"That's different," he said quietly.

 

Of course, it was, Jack mused sadly. Those were changes Daniel could control.

 

Sha're. His parents. Nick. These…these were things he could not control.

 

In fact, change had been quite the bitch to Daniel.

 

"Oh, don't look at me like that," Daniel muttered. "I don't need your sympathy."

 

"Sympathy? Far from it." Jack tugged him closer. "You and me, we…"

 

That was it. Jack didn't say anything else. The need wasn't there.

 

Jack knew how callous change could be. But change had brought him moments he would never trade.

 

Those moments would never bring Charlie back to him. But those moments had brought him sanity, and the strength to survive, to move forward and embrace the positive things and people in his life.

 

Quietly, Jack took Daniel's jacket from him and walked into the kitchen. With a quick toss, he threw Daniel's jacket over a nearby chair, and grabbed two bottles of beer from his fridge. When he returned, he found Daniel seated once again, hunched over silently, staring at his clasped hands.

 

Jack took a seat beside him, nudging his hunched form with one of the cold bottles. Daniel flinched, but then relaxed, as he accepted the beer.

 

"Uh, Daniel, I didn't mean to, uh…"

 

"No. No," he answered quietly, popping the top off and taking a swallow. "I know. He took a deep breath, gazing downward, running his fingers over the rim. "I didn't mean…I…" He chuckled nervously. "I must look like such a coward."

 

"Coward? Come on, Daniel." Jack tugged at the table irritably. "I don't want to hear you talking that way. You're no coward."

 

"That I run whenever something happens. That I leave as soon as my life changes?"

 

Jack downed a swig. "Change is hard. Good, but hard."

 

Hell, Jack had endured a lot. But Daniel held himself in a way…

 

He swallowed hard, allowing himself to touch upon those hard times in his life. Those dark, desperate times…

 

"A coward wouldn't have made it this far, Daniel. A coward isn't afraid to live."

 

The younger man started at that comment, just as Jack would have expected him to react. Blinking rapidly, as if he still didn't have a clue, he faced Jack, mouth open. Jack replied with a subtle arch of his brow as he took another swig of beer.

 

"Jack, please don't…"

 

Jack shook his head. "Nope. Said what I mean."

 

"Jack," Daniel said gently. "You were never a coward."

Jack didn't reply. He tilted the bottle back again, allowing for another rush of beer to flood his mouth. He swished it around, savoring the taste, distracting himself.

 

No, he wasn't a coward. Not anymore. He wouldn't even consider going back to that place he'd been to after Charlie died. He wouldn't go back to where he was on that first mission to Abydos. He knew better now.

 

And he wanted to make sure Daniel knew why. Staring at him pointedly, Jack waited for his acknowledgement.

 

Daniel licked his lips, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment, but also with compassion that went well beyond understanding. Jack could see the "thank you" glistening a thousand times over in those eyes. Jack hoped Daniel recognized the "thank you's" in his face as well.

 

He squeezed Daniel's shoulder. When Daniel gave him that soft gentle smile. That's when Jack knew it was going to be all right.

 

The two of them sat for a while in companionable silence. Both lazily drinking their beer, sitting thoughtfully…just being.

 

"So," Daniel began.

 

"How about another beer?"

 

Daniel chuckled, sloshing the liquid around in his unfinished bottle. "You trying to get me drunk?"

 

"No," Jack remarked innocently. "Besides, there's no challenge."

 

Daniel frowned.

 

"Oh, come on, Daniel. You're so easy."

 

"Hey, I resemble that remark."

 

Jack groaned, putting the bottle down. "Any more clichés and I'll…"

 

His eyes dancing, Daniel grinned. "And you'll what?"

 

"Smack you down faster than mud on a pig?"

 

"Jack, that didn't even make any sense."

 

He chewed his lip. "No, it didn't." Damn, he was getting old.

 

"Losing your marbles?" Daniel joked with a smirk.

 

Jack grinned back. So, it was war he wanted. "Takes one to know one."

 

"One man's garbage is another man's treasure."

 

"What?"

 

Daniel chuckled. "I just felt like saying that."

 

"Yeah, alright." He grabbed Daniel's bottle. "Already too much for you."

 

Daniel chuckled, but then quieted, an all too clear sign for Jack. Absentmindedly, he started to scratch the tips of his fingernails. "We're kinda sad, you ever think that?"

 

Jack halted, the beer bottle hovering inches away from his lips. "How so?"

"Here we are just sitting around your house drinking beer."

 

"Nothing wrong with beer. Lots of people hang out."

 

"I just-I just never expected my life to end up like this."

 

Jack nodded, bringing the bottle down to gaze levelly at Daniel. Here was something to which Jack could relate. "Yeah, I know. None of us do."

 

"Yeah, I know that. It's just…" Pausing, Daniel allowed his voice to fade, his face darkening with thought. With a sigh, he settled deeper into Jack's couch. "Moments like these I'm reminded of the Greeks."

 

Jack paused. Not exactly what Jack had anticipated from Daniel. Okay, so when did Daniel not think about other cultures?

 

Daniel smiled softly into his own musings. "Like Greek tragic heroes."

 

"Bound by fate," Jack said softly.

 

Curious, Daniel regarded him thoughtfully.

 

"What?" Jack asked with a smirk. "I've learned some mythology from you after all this time. Besides, I sort of like the way that sounds. The hero part."

 

"Polar opposites inextricably joined together?"

 

"Now see? You take all the fun out. Only you can make it sound dirty."

 

This elicited a laugh from Daniel. "So what now?" he asked.

 

"Well, as heroes, I say we deserve our beer and TV." Jack flashed him a grin before becoming more serious. "How about we just take it a day at a time? Little…small changes. And counsel from my top advisors, of course."

 

"Of course," Daniel repeated with a smile. "Sounds like a plan."

 

"Good, but for now…" Jack grinned again and waved his VCR remote.

 

With a sigh, Daniel covered his face. "Not the Simpsons again."

 

"What's wrong with the Simpons?" Jack was dumbfounded.

 

"Everything."

 

Jack shot him a mock glare. "You have absolutely no sense of humor. No appreciation for art."

 

"Art? Little yellow guys…"

 

"Ah!" He silenced him with his hand. "Don't be bringing Teal'c's views into this conversation."

 

Daniel rolled his eyes. "How about TV instead?"

 

"Daniel, only love lines and infomercials are on at this time."

 

"No, actually, there's this interesting series on—"

 

"This History Channel," he finished for him with a groan.

 

"What's wrong with the History Channel?"

 

"Everything."

 

He received Daniel's signature glare. "Sacrilege."

 

"Whatever. So if you won't watch my Simpsons—the greatest show on television by the way—and I won't watch your History Channel, what are we going to do?"

 

 

Two hours later, Jack decided he knew more than he ever wanted to know about gravediggers. Grumbling to himself, he grabbed another handful of nuts.

 

Daniel had tricked him. When he had told Jack the History Channel was showing something called "Tomb Raiders," he thought it was some bizarre doc on video games or something.

 

He should have known better. Instead, he'd suffered, learning way too much about the Mocha, or the Moche, or whatever they were called. Jack could really care less about some dead culture in ancient Peru.

 

Yawning, Jack stretched out his legs, pondering whether he was tired because it was nearly dawn, or if the documentary had some hypnotic effect.

 

He started considering the latter.

 

Jack chuckled, shaking his head at the sight of his friend.

 

Sprawled out on the couch beside him, Daniel was dead to the world. His mouth was open, his hair already askew in every direction, his glasses crooked.  Gently, Jack leaned over and slipped off Daniel's glasses and placed them on the table.

 

"Let's go, buddy," he whispered, tossing Daniel's arm around his shoulder as he slid his arms around his waist. "Time to head off to the spare."

 

"Hmrph."

 

Jack managed to get Daniel to his feet, and despite his lack of cooperation, Jack found himself half way to the spare bedroom.

 

To think, if Daniel left, he'd have missed moments like these.

 

"You know," Jack said quietly, grunting as he shifted his dozing friend. "This would easier if you helped me."

 

Naturally, Daniel didn't reply.

 

Jack chuckled. Maybe he'd pumped Daniel with a tad too much alcohol.

 

When he reached the spare room, Jack eased Daniel onto the bed. He stood there a moment, staring at him, and smiled despite himself.

 

It was good to have him back.  Losing him had hurt enough, but Jack hadn't realized just how much he needed Daniel in his life until he wasn’t there anymore. What kind of idiot was he? Though, they say you don't realize what you have until it's gone.

 

But now, Daniel was back and he'd settled right into the groove again. He still might not have all his memories, but he had most of them, and the important ones above all. Besides, the four of them had spent the past year making new memories together.

 

Jack couldn't let that go. Not even if Daniel kicked and screamed as Jack dragged him away from the Gate to Atlantis. Call him selfish, but hey, yeah, he was selfish.

 

"Everything will be fine," Jack said aloud. "You'll see." He cleared his throat, thinking about Nem, that time on Apophis' ship, various other missions, and of course Kelowna. "Just-just don't go."

 

"I won't."

 

Startled, Jack jumped a foot back, glaring at Daniel. He could feel the heat in his cheeks as they flushed with embarrassment. That response, of course, only caused Daniel's sneaky grin to widen.

 

"You were awake that whole time," Jack said accusingly.

 

"Actually, I wasn't," Daniel replied, yawning.  "Your breath woke me up."

 

"That's cute."

 

Daniel rocked his head on the pillow with satisfaction, stifling another yawn. "I thought so."

 

Jack shook his head. Then, he became serious, his dark eyes studying Daniel closely. "So, you—"

 

"Yes," he replied sleepily.

 

"So, you've—"

 

Daniel rubbed his eyes. "I've given it some thought."

 

Jack pulled back. "When?"

 

Daniel shrugged, adjusting himself so Jack could see his face more clearly. "Oh, some time after you reminded me how I bore easily."

 

"Then why didn't you say something then!"

 

"Because I was angry and I didn't want to hear it," Daniel answered simply.

 

"Dammit!" Jack shook his head, but he had to admit he wasn't really angry. "Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

 

"If you do, do I get to run the SGC?"

 

Jack smirked. "Damn, I knew you were always after that chair." Jack cleared his throat again, and dropped his voice. "You do realize that means that you've got to stay here and not run off again. Not to some outpost. Not to Atlantis. Not to…"

 

Jack felt Daniel's warmth radiate from his soft smile. "I won't…I'm not going to leave again."

He wasn't going to leave. The four of them would remain whole, a unit.

 

Jack felt his face glowing, and for the first time in ages, he felt as if he could really relax. Daniel must have felt it as well. He returned the smile, his features bright, as he slowly drifted off to sleep.

 

Shoving his hands in his pockets, Jack hummed contently. Daniel was staying. Staying here with him, with SG-1, with all of them, and that is all that really mattered.

 

 

The Stargate shimmered with life, the event horizon glistening with the ripples of activity.

 

Jack stood tall, watching as Colonel Sumner and Doctor Weir headed toward the Gate, just moments away from new exploration and a whole new world.

 

He made eye contact with her and knew. This would be an important journey. Yes, Daniel was right. This was big, bigger than him, bigger than any of them.

 

This was important.

 

And hopefully John Sheppard understood that as well.

 

But for Jack, now, other things were important, more personal matters.

 

Through the corner of his eye, he caught sight of Daniel watching eagerly, his body stiffening as he watched the personnel begin to file through the Stargate.

 

That spark of life in Daniel, his need to learn, to explore, to feel the pulse at the center of the universe…that would never die. As they stood here now, watching their fellow friends and companions leave, Jack knew Daniel's doubts were returning, and that incessant itch had come to claim him again.

 

"Jack, it's not too late for me—

 

"No."

 

"I-I can just grab my—"

 

"No."

 

After that, he didn't press any further. Jack knew it was going to be a helluva time in getting Daniel to realize this decision was for the best, and that he truly belonged here. Here. The newness would wear off in a few days and Daniel would be glad he had remained. Jack was sure of it.

 

Humanity did have hope. With the combination of the Stargate and Atlantis teams, one day, something would change.

 

A good kind of change.

 

But for now, things were okay.

 

He smiled at Daniel and Daniel smiled back.

 

Truly okay.

 

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