tootBulletin From Heaventoot

FILM REVIEW Page

(Heaven - Stardate 467392-889.7)

Last week 'the big three-in-one upstairs' granted several of the most pious of the gathered throng up here special dispensation to don human garb, whizz down to the planet Earth and catch a nice film. The film we saw was 'The Life of Brian' by Mr M. Python, which most of us found to be quite engaging. Despite the constant mild disturbance caused by the rustling from underneath Onan's giant tub of popcorn, a good time was had by all. Mmm... those nachos! And air-conditioning! Here are a few of the comments, warts and all, that were overheard as we were trooping out of the movie theatre...

 

"I laughed until I stopped. Plus a great song at the end." - Jesus"Onan - STOP IT!"

"The best thing since the invention of the wheel." - St Catherine

"Vini." - Onan

"Big nose! Nose City! Now that's funny." - Adolph 'Chopper' Hitler

"There was something vaguely familiar about this film..." - Matthew, Mark, Luke and John

"Was that meant to be me?" - Mary

"Wolf nipple chips, ocelots' earlobes. Takes you right back doesn't it." - Nero

"A gwate, wibbald, wiotous, woller-coaster of a fiwm." - Pilate

"On the whole it was funny - but we didn't like the nudity." - Adam and Eve

"I thought we were going to see Titanic." - Noah

"That Brian - If he'd been my son, I would have killed him." - Abraham

"I think we can draw a veil over this one." - Salome

"WOW! It really opened my eyes!" - Saul

"Great film, but the ticket price was way too high. I mean, THIRTY PIECES OF SILVER FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!" - Judas

"Needed more sacrifices." - Moses

"Bah! Needed more talking donkeys." - The talking donkey

"Smashing film! It gave me a warm glow throughout." - Joan of Arc

"A touching movie. It gets you... right here." - St Sebastian

"I didn't enjoy it. In fact, I'm going to deny that I ever saw it." - Peter

"I would have followed the gourd. Ha ha." - Jonah

"Far too long. It would have tried the patience of... me!" - Job

"Splendid audio." - Joshua

"I'd kill to be able to make a movie like that." - Cain

 

Signed: St. Peter - pp God

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