Archie Bunker's Place 'Archie Alone' Episode

Archie Bunker's Place

Archie Alone--Parts 1 & 2 (11/2/80) Written By: Mark Fink and Stephen Miller (Part 1), Alan Rosen and Fred Rubin (Part 2)

The Big Ben alarm clock rings at seven-thiry in the morning. Archie, who's sleeping on the couch, turns it off. As he is walking up the stairs, he rewinds the clock. He heads toward Stephanie's room, opens the door and the clock goes off again, waking the girl. When Archie sees that Stephanie is awake, he sets the alarm clock on the table in the hallway and closes the bathroom door. Stephanie comes out of her room and opens the door to Archie and Edith's room. It is too painful for Archie go into that room now. Stephanie gets his clothes for the day, shuts their bedroom door and lays the clothes next to the clock. She goes back into her room to get ready for school.

Archie and Stephanie are in the kitchen now and she is about to prepare his breakfast. Archie tells her that she shouldn't make breakfast for anyone until she grows up and is married. He opens the refrigerator door, smells the spoiled food, grabs the milk and shuts it. Stephanie tells him that everything has been in there for three weeks.

Archie: "Why didn't you think to clean some of it out?"

Stephanie: "You told me not to touch anything in the kitchen."

Archie: "Yeah, that's right. I told you that."

She pours herself a bowl of cereal. When she pours in the milk only a few drops come out of the carton. Ignoring her breakfast, Stephanie tries to strike up a conversation with Archie.

Stephanie: "I was thinking...this weekend, could we--"

Archie: "Oh, hey, hey, I got this whole weekend planned for us. Look at this here, look what I got. Two reserved seats, tickets to the circus. That's for Saturday afternoon; then on Sunday, we could go to the movies again."

Stephanie: "I don't want to go to the circus on Saturday."

Archie: "Awww, come on. I mean, what kid don't wanna go to the circus? Can you think of a better way to spend a beautiful Saturday afternoon?"

Stephanie: "Yes. I'd like to go to the cemetary. You said we would."

Archie: "Awww, yeah. But I already bought the tickets."

Stephanie: "You promised."

Archie: "I know I promised, but I didn't say when."

Their conversation is interrupted by a knock at the door. Polly Swanson, the next door neighbor, comes over to pick her lasagna dish, of which they did not eat. Archie then tells Stephanie she should get ready for school.

Stephanie: "What about this Saturday?"

Archie: "Awww, come on, now. Saturday, we're goin' to the circus."

Stephanie: "Take somebody else to the circus."

She starts to leave, but Archie asks if she forgot anything. She goes over to him, hugs and kisses him on the cheek, and heads out the door to school. Polly is still in the kitchen.

Polly: "What's she got against the circus?"

Archie: "Oh, nothin', nothin'. She's goin' to the circus, alright? It's just that...she was just thinkin' about makin' a visitation to the uh, you know...Meadow Glen."

Polly: "Oh?"

Archie: "Yeah, uh, but I figure, what's the rush? I mean, it's only been a little over a month. You might as well give the grass a chance to grow out there, before walkin' all around, you know? You know what I mean?"

Polly: "I know what you mean."

Polly then tells Archie if he needs anything, he should just holler over the fence. She leaves and Archie is alone. He stares at the circus tickets in his hand. He then heads to work at the bar.

Archie had not returned from an errand, so his co-workers and friends sit around talking about him and how he is doing.

Harry Snowden (Archie's other bartender): "We're trying to keep him busy."

Barney Hefner (regular at the bar): "You know, I can't help thinkin' of my cousin Eddie. It was awful."

Veronica Rooney (the cook): "What's with him?"

Barney: "Well, he's a lot like Arch. He depended on his wife for everything. And she passed away in her sleep one night, quietly, just like Edith. It was her heart, you know. It was terrible."

Veronica, Harry and Murray (Archie's partner for the bar): "What happened?"

Barney: "He couldn't handle it. He went to pieces. But not old Arch, huh? He's fine."

Murray: "And I hope it stays that way."

Archie arrives with Veronica's oven cleaner and notices the strange behavior among his co-workers and friends. They're always laughing at him and agreeing with everything he says. A man walks into the bar and asks to see Archie.

Man: "Hi, Mr. Bunker, I'm Jim Spencer of Fidelity Insurance. It's about your wife's policy."

Archie: "Oh, yeah, yeah."

They both sit down at a table.

Jim Spencer: "First off, please accept condolences on behalf of myself and Fidelity Insurance on the death of your wife, Judith."

Archie: "Uh, that was Edith."

Jim Spencer: "I'm terribly sorry. Oh, please forgive me. I have trouble reading my own handwriting. Maybe I should've become a doctor, huh?"

He laughs, but Archie does not.

Jim Spencer (clearing his throat): "I, uh, have your Beneficary Death Claim which states that Edith Bunker died on the date indicated and if you just sign here, I can present you with a check for five thousand dollars."

Archie (softly): "Awww, I ain't gonna sign that."

Jim Spencer: "What?"

Archie: "I don't wanna be no beneficurary. What do youse people think? I can just sign a person off the world, just like that? I don't want it! Just send it out to my daughter in California. It's Gloria Stivic in Santa Barbara, California."

Jim Spencer: "Why don't you do that, Mr. Bunker? You can endorse the check right over to her. But, as you see, as a beneficary, I need your signature on the death claim."

Archie: "I ain't signin' no death claim. Now, you're a big company. Can't you just leave me alone and do what I'm askin' you to do? Send it out there to my daughter."

Jim Spencer (sighs): "Uh, maybe I better call the home office."

He gets up and starts to head over to the pay phone. Archie follows him.

Archie: "Well, listen. Uh, use the pay phone at the subway, huh? This one's out of order. It's out of order!" The telephone rings, proving Archie wrong.

Archie picks up the phone and finds out that Stephanie's school is calling because she hasn't been in class all week. They were wondering if she was sick and Archie explains that she is fine. Archie then tells Jim Spencer to use the pay phone at the subway again, and he exits. Archie is angry at Stephanie.

Veronica: "Don't you hit her."

Archie: "I ain't gonna hit her."

Veronica: "What are you going to do? Flush her?"

Murray: "Just stay calm."

Archie: "I am calm. ...I know what this kid is doing. She's tryin' to drive me nuts! I'm a parent. Gloria used to pull this stuff all the time."

Murray: "What did you do?"

Archie: "Oh ho! What did I do then?"

Murray: "What did you do?"

Archie (choked up): "I let her mother handle it."

Stephanie comes into the bar for lunch. Archie asks her about school and she lies to him saying it's fine. Archie then tells her they have to go into his office and have a little talk. They head to the office, and Stephanie sits in a chair while Archie stands on the other side of the desk, facing her.

Archie: "This ain't like you, kiddo. This ain't like you at all! What have you been doin'? Where've you been goin'?"

Stephanie: "To the library."

Archie: "Everyday? Nobody can read everyday."

Stephanie: "Also, I went to the museum. Mostly, I just sit in the park and think."

Archie: "But you're supposed to be doin' your thinkin' in school!"

Stephanie: "I know...I can't go back there."

Archie: "Oh, hey, you gotta go back there."

Stephanie: "I just can't! The kids are treating me different now."

Archie: "What are they doin' to you?"

Stephanie: "They don't want to talk to me. I had to recite a poem. It was one Aunt Edith helped me memorize. And all of a sudden, I was cryin'. And ever since, the other kids have been acting funny."

Archie sits down in the chair across from her.

Archie: "Listen, that should teach you a lesson, goin' around, blubberin' in front of strangers."

Stephanie: "But even at home I can't."

Archie: "You shouldn't be blubberin' at home neither. It don't do no good. It don't change nothin', see? Listen, I'm goin' through the same thing here, you know? Murray, Barney, all the guys, they're treatin' me different."

Stephanie: "They are?"

Archie: "Sure. People do that because they think, you and me, we're gonna fall apart now that we're alone, see? But they don't know us. We're gonna be okay, ain't we? Ain't we?"

Stephanie: "Guess so."

Archie: "Alright, after you eat your lunch, I'll walk you back to school."

Stephanie: "You don't have to."

Archie: "I gotta. I gotta go to the truant officer. Ain't that ridiculous? You're the guy who goes AWOL and I'm the guy that's gotta face the court's martial."

Archie drops Stephanie off at school and then heads to the truant officer's office. The officer turns out to be a woman.

Mrs. Wakefield: "Mr. Bunker, I'm not a truant officer, I'm a counselor."

She shows Archie her degree on the wall.

Archie: "Oh, what's that? Barn Yard College?"

Mrs. Wakefield: "That's Barnard. Please, sit down. I'd like to talk to you about Stephanie."

Archie sits in a chair facing Mrs. Wakefield, who is sitting behind her desk.

Mrs. Wakefield: "First of all, I want you to know how sorry I am to hear about your wife."

Archie: "Oh, yeah. Uh, well, thanks very much."

Mrs. Wakefield: "And I realize this is a difficult time for Stephanie."

Archie: "Uh, well, we don't need to go into all of that. You know, I had a nice little talk with her this noon. Everything's gonna be alright. She ain't gonna play hooky no more."

Mrs. Wakefield: "Oh, that's good. Did you find out what the problem was?"

Archie: "Yeah, all the kids was treatin' her funny. But, you know, that's normal. The same thing is happenin' to me, you know, with the guys down at my bar, uh, ever since I lost my wife."

Mrs. Wakefield: "Did Stephanie attend the funeral?"

Archie: "Attend? Sure! Her and me, we was the first ones to the grave."

Mrs. Wakefield: "I'm glad she had a chance to mourn with the family."

Archie: "Oh, we mourned first class, let me tell you."

Mrs. Wakefield: "Does Stephanie talk very much about her aunt?"

Archie: "Oh, well, she tries to, you know. But I get her right off of that."

Mrs. Wakefield: "Sometimes, people want to talk about their sadness with somebody close to them."

Archie: "Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. They keep draggin' it out, you know? When they oughta be forgettin' and gettin' on with life."

Mrs. Wakefield: "I suppose that you haven't given Stephanie anything that belonged to your wife."

Archie: "Oh, God! What do you think I am, a dope? Jeez, I ain't even looked at any of that stuff myself, but I-I wanna pack it away when I get a chance to."

Mrs. Wakefield: "Mr. Bunker, I think you're wrong. I think you should let Stephanie go through those things with you and pick out something that belonged to your wife."

Archie: "What?!"

Mrs. Wakefield: "It's very helpful to have a special keepsake."

Archie: "Are you kiddin'?"

Mrs. Wakefield: "No, I'm not kidding."

Archie: "Oh, well, I don't know what I'm doin' here, wastin' my time." (stands up) "Jeez, you and me are talkin' two different languages."

Mrs. Wakefield: "I'm afraid so." Now she stands up.

Archie (walking toward the door): "Well, listen, I done what you want. I got the kid back in school. That's you was worryin' about nothing no more. Goodbye!"

Mrs. Wakefield: "I'm not finished."

Archie: "Well, I am!"

Mrs. Wakefield: "Mr. Bunker, children, just like adults need to deal with death. It's a part of life. Stephanie needs to talk about this. If she doesn't, it could have serious consequences."

Archie (angry): "Let me tell you somethin' here, Young Lady. I'll tell you what makes, uh, whaddya call it, consequentials, is when the school butts into the parents business! I know my job and I'm doing it. You just do your job! Case closed!"

Archie leaves the school and goes back to the bar. Archie tells Murray and Veronica what happened at the couselor's office. Murray says Archie should listen to the couselor's advice. Archie then asks Veronica and Murray to help pack up Edith's things. Veronica starts to cry and Archie tells Murray to come over and have a talk with Stephanie about Edith. Murray ends up coming over for dinner and while Archie's in the kitchen (eavesdropping), Murray and Stephanie are talking in the living room.

Murray: "I heard that you missed school for a couple of days there."

Stephanie is silent

Murray: "You know, Steph, a couple of years ago when my father died, I remember not wanting to talk to anybody about it. And one day I decided to talk about it. I want to tell you, I felt so much better."

Stephanie: "I wanna talk to him about my Aunt Edith. But he won't let me."

Murray: "He won't?"

Stephanie: "No, everytime I talk about her, he changes the subject or gets mad. Archie's been acting so weird."

Murray: "Howdo you mean?"

Stephanie: "He won't answer the phone. He won't open all the cards we've been getting and he's sleeping on the couch now."

Murray: "Every night?"

Stephanie: "Uh, huh. Ever since Aunt Edith died."

Stephanie then goes upstairs to bed and Murray has a talk with Archie.

Murray (to Archie): "Well we had a very nice little talk. How are you getting along."

Archie: "Whaddya mean me? I’m fine...fine."

Murray: "How come you're sleeping on the couch?"

Archie: "You wasn’t supposed to be talkin' to her about me!"

Murray: "But we did."

Archie: "Well, jeez. Didn’t you ever fall asleep in front of the TV some night, huh? You know, I mean every once in a while?"

Murray: "Yeah, every once in a while."

Archie: "Yeah. Sure it happens! I’ll tell you something else, you be surprised by the interesting stuff you pick up on them late TV talk shows. Hey, they’re better than the National Enquirer!"

Murray: "Arch, will you level with me? Now you've been sleeping on that couch every night now, come on!"

Archie: "Alright, I’ll level with you. I could never get a decent night's rest on that bed up there. Now that’s the truth. You know, Edith always liked that bed. And now that I’m alone, I'm really thinkin' about sellin' it. I’ll tell you somethin' you won’t believe."

Murray: "I don't doubt that."

Archie: "That old sofa there is way more comfortable."

Murray: "Why didn’t you sign the death claim?"

Archie: "Hey, listen, Murray, you know, I think we talked enough, we did, yeah. I want to thank you very much for comin' over and helpin' me with the kid, but from now on, you know. Stay outta my business!"

Archie opes the front door for Murray.

Murray: "Okay, alright. Just one more thing, though."

Archie: "Tomorrow."]

Murray: "Now. I came over to find out what Stephanie's problem and I did. The problem is you."

Murray walks out the door. Archie stands there for a moment, trying to let the words sink in. He then heads up to Stephanie's room to find her doing her homework.

Archie: "Did you have a nice talk with Murray?"

Stephanie: "Do you wanna talk?"

Archie: "Well, I don't wanna bother you, while you're doin' your homework there, you know. That’s the important thing. You keep at it and I’ll holler out good night through the door a little later."

The next day, in Archie and Edith's bedroom, Polly, Veronica and Stephanie and packing up Edith's clothes.

Veronica: "Well, this looks like the last of it."

Polly: "You know? I must have seen Edith wear this dress one hundred times. I can just picture her in it running like crazy to the door."

Stephanie: "Or running up the stairs."

Polly: "Or running to the kitchen. You know, your Aunt Edith was into jogging long before anybody else." Stephanie smiles.

Stephanie: "You know, it feels real strange going through her things. It’s like she’s still here."

Veronica: "Yeah, it does feel funny. I almost expect to see her come walking right in the door. Ah, there's nothing left of her things in the dresser."

Polly: "This is it for the closet. Stephie, did you find something you want to keep?"

Stephanie: "I’m going to keep this pin." She had picked out a heart-shaped pin from Edith’s jewelry box.

Stephanie: "Aunt Edith said she was going to give it to me for my sixteenth birthday. So I’m going to keep it and not wear it until then. It will be like she’s still here to give it to me."

Veronica: "That’s very sweet, Steph. Alright, where does all this stuff go? Does it go over to Jersey or where?"

Polly: "Oh no. Stephanie and I talked about it and we decided that Edith would want it to go to the Sunshine Home."

Stephanie: "That’s where my Aunt Edith worked for the old people who don’t have any money."

Veronica: "Lets take the stuff down to the car."

Polly: "...I suppose it’s wishful thinking that Archie will be back in time to help us." Veronica carries the box to the bedroom door.

Veronica: "Oh, he may be back just in time to hold the door open for us."

Polly turns and looks at Stephanie closing Edith’s jewelry box on the bed. Stephanie looks at Edith’s pin that is in her hand.

Later on, as Polly and Veronica are carrying boxes out to the car, Archie shows up and Stephanie shows him the heart-shaped pin.

Stephanie: "Look what I decided to keep. This pin."

Archie: "Yeah, okay. That’s very nice. Well, I want to thank all of youse for helping."

Stephanie also thanks them for helping. After they leave, Archie sees Stephanie looking at the pin.

Archie (sits down in his chair): "Why don’t you go upstairs and hide that? So you won't lose it."

Stephanie: "I won’t lose it."

Archie: "Do what I tell you." (Stephanie looks at the pin again) "Will you please do what I tell you?"

Stephanie runs upstairs and the doorbell rings.

Archie: "Leave it to them to forget something."

Archie opens the door thinking it is Veronica and Polly.

Archie: "What did youse forget? Oh..."

Lady: "Hello, I'm Arlene Schiff from Ultra Lady Cosmetics."

Archie: "Oh, well, I don't need no cosmetics."

Arlene Schiff: "I'm sure you don't. Is Edith at home?"

Archie: "No."

Arlene: "She knew I was coming by today."

Archie: "Well, yeah, she's gone."

Arlene: "Do you know when she'll be back?"

Archie: "No."

Arlene: "Well, I have the cosmetics she ordered last month. I'll just come back tomorrow."

Archie: "Oh, no...no...no...don't do that. Step in...step in." (Steps into the house) "I suppose there's something owing on that?"

Arlene (looking at her reciept): "She has a balance of thirteen, forty-seven."

Archie: "Oh, well, I got a twenty dollar bill."

She hands the bags of cosmetics to Archie, then she looks in her pocketbook for change.

Arlene: "Let me get you some change."

Archie: "Oh well, I tell you what. Don't bother with that. You keep the change."

Arlene: "Oh, well, thank you. Oh, listen, my number's there. Tell her if she has any questions, she can call me. Thank you."

Archie: "Yeah, yeah. Don't menton it."

Arlene leaves and Archie holds up the bag.

Archie: "Never could say no to nobody. Never could turn anybody away."

Archie slowly walks into his and Edith's room. He looks around to see if anything is left of hers. He finds one of her pink slippers underneath the bed. He sits down and stares at the slipper, the last part of her in the room with him.

Archie: "It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I was supposed to be the first one to go. I always used to kid you about you going first. You know I never meant none of that and that morning when you was layin' there I was shakin' you and yellin' at you to go down and fix my breakfast. I didn’t know. You had no right to leave me that way." (He starts to cry) "Without giving me just one more chance to say 'I love you.' (sobbing)

Archie slowly brings the slipper to his face and sees Stephanie standing in the doorway.

Archie (to Stephanie): "She was the one that was supposed to stay down here with you, you know. Not me. Because I ain’t no good at none of this. Oh well." He starts to cry again and pulls out his handkerchief to dry his eyes.

Archie: "I tell you what we'll do. On Saturday, I’ll borrow Murray’s car and you and me will take a little ride to the cemetery."

Stephanie: "Can we bring flowers?"

Archie: "Yeah, sure. What kind?"

Stephanie: "Carnations."

Archie: "Oh, yeah, yeah, carnations. She was always crazy about carnations."

Archie (whispering): "Come here."

She walks toward Archie and he puts his arms around her.

Archie: "Are you alright now?"

Stephanie: "I’m alright." (She kisses Archie on the cheek). "Should I start cooking dinner?"

Archie: "Yeah, you can do that. But first you better go to the linen chest out there and get some stuff for the bed here. Jeez, who the hell stripped this bed?"

Stephanie: "Aunt Mabel from Hackensack."

Archie: "Awww, Mabel from Hackensack. How did she think I was ever going to use my bed without no sheets and blanket and pillow cases here?"

Stephanie leaves the room to get the bed sheets.

Archie: "God them people from Jersey is brutes."

Like the emotional Archie in 'The Draft Dodger' episode from All in the Family, Carroll O'Connor's acting is superb in this one as well. This episode should not be missed. If you only watch one episode of Archie Bunker's Place, let it be this one. After it aired in November of 1980, People were angered and saddened by the death of Edith Bunker. But death is part of life, it happens. The decision to have Edith die was brought on because people would want to see Edith more with Archie, than only seeing her part time. Also, the writers were running out of scenarios and excuses as to why Edith was not there in a particular episode. So, to have Jean Stapleton not become typecasted and to open ideas for future episodes of Archie Bunker's Place, having Edith die was the ideal story line for them. Many people put down Archie Bunker's Place because they missed the arguments between Meathead and Archie, or they hated the Stephanie character or they even considered Archie to be "too soft." As people grow older, they change, along with the times. No one is the same person as they were ten years ago. I'll agree that Archie Bunker's Place is not as good as All in the Family, however, it still had its moments. You see Archie move on with his life and Stephanie grow up. As the seasons went by, after the passing of Edith, Archie hires a black housekeeper to watch over Stephanie and 704 Hauser Street while he's at the bar, Archie later fights to get full custody of Stephanie, Gloria comes back to 704 Hauser with a grown up Joey to visit Archie and look for a job (on her own show Gloria, she recieves divorce papers from Michael Stivic, who had run off to a commune,for couples only, with one of his female students), Billie Bunker (Denise Miller), Archie's niece from Baltimore, moves in with Archie and Stephanie and becomes a member of the family, Archie begins dating a woman named Katherine, Billie dates Gary Rabinowitz (of Rabinowitz, Rabinowitz and Rabinowitz), Stephanie gets caught for smoking marijuana etc. Archie Bunker's Place may not have been up to par with All in the Family but, in my opinion, it's better than some of the television sitcoms out there today (excluding The Simpsons, of course!) There's an old saying that goes something like this: "They don't make 'em like they used to." This can be said for shows like All in the Family and Archie Bunker's Place.

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