There's No
Justice In The World...
"I never imagined that this could happen to me... for the first
time I discover everything I have inside,
and I find it in the middle of a
battlefield. I can't be blamed if Janine fixated on me, I never gave her
the slightest encouragement to do
so...I don't want to hurt her, but I can't...I'll never love her..."
Egon looked bitterly into the
middle distance while Ray listened quietly.
"And it's not right, the things that Winston said. I'm not a man
without feelings and principles.
I don't want to laugh at Janine,
it's not true! How could he say it?"
"You know that Winston is old-fashion sometimes." Ray said.
"He thinks that a man can only be happy
with a woman. For him, it's the
only right way to be. He still believes that, even though he's known lots
of people that chose the other
way, he still doesn't agree with it...and he doesn't approve of your, ah,
'affaire' with Peter."
"Why is this his concern? I
don't understand..."
"Winston has seen how you
rejected Janine in the past and he can't support that,
because he loves her." Ray
told him.
"Why not tell 'her' that?
"
"He doesn't know how
to...and he see that she loves you." Ray said.
"But I-don't-love-her; this
gives him the opportunity he needs. I hope that he goes for it
and leaves us in peace."
Egon distractedly ran a hand through his hair.
"You'd prefer that? Peter to
Janine?" <<This is what you are asking, right?>>
"Yes. I love Peter and I'll
stay with him the rest of my life. Is that too hard to understand?"
Spengler was exasperated. "If Janine and Winston begin a
relationship it would be good
for them both, don't you
think?"
The auburn hair boy nodded
thoughtfully.
"Some times I think that
Winston hates us." Egon murmured.
"Oh, no! Egon, he really
admires you, but he doesn't accept this. I believed..."
Ray hesitates, wanting to continue, but not sure if he should. Finally
he said…
"Can I ask you a personal
question, Egon?"
"Certainly."
"Do you love Peter,
really?" ; surprised, Egon answered firmly,
"More than my life, he's
everything I own, I couldn't live without him.
Why do you want to know
this?"
"Well, maybe he doesn't love
you in the same way..."
"Ray! How can you say
that?" Egon lowered his eyebrows in dismay.
"Don't be angry. It looks to
Winston like Peter is only infatuated with you...
wait a minute, let me finish!
You know that Venkman pretends to be a bad boy,
Pete's vain, very vain. Of
course he's got reason to be." Ray added slyly,
"He's a handsome man, a
gorgeous guy, attractive to the most discerning
of people, and that includes
you!"
Egon smiled a little at this, so
Ray continued...
"So maybe he's a little
crazy some times, always wanting to be the center
of attention. He's angry when he
doesn't get top billing, but that doesn't
mean that he's bad. He just
comes across that way. But..."
"But what, Ray?" Egon asked gently.
"Well, 'I' think deep down
Peter is a romantic, sweet sad dreamer boy.
A child heart looking, 'needing'
affect, a lot of affection...
'cause he's afraid to be alone,
of not being 'in' enough, not being accepted.
He needs to be trusted,
respected, to love somebody and have that somebody
love him back. Peter's perfectly
capable of being faithful to this someone.
Someone who has been fortunate
enough to see into his soul, and accepted
him as he is. That person is you, Egon."
The blonde ducked his head. He
wanted to talk, but he had a lump in his throat.
He cleared it with a cough and
asked gravely...
"What do I say? Do you know
us so well? What do we do now..."
"Well, for a start, don't
worry about Janine, Winston, or the rest of the world ;
you should just be yourselves.
Peter needs you, and you need him. I don't care
that you're gay, because you're
my friends and the only wish that I have is that
you're happy, together, in
peace."
Spengler smiled at the ground as
he searched his mind to find the word to thank Ray
for understanding, but he got no
further than ... "I..."
"Come on, Egon...he's
waiting for you." Ray pushes open the lab door and motioned him inside.
Peter Venkman was indeed in the
lab, crying for his lover, for himself, for the evil
of the world... Egon looked at
him achingly with his sky blue eyes, but before he went
to him, he caught Ray's arm and
gave it a little squeeze...
"Ray, oh Ray, you're the
best friend that we could ask for. I'm so glad that we have you.
Thank you, Ray...thank
you..." and pulled him into his arms for a grateful hug, tears of
relief running freely down his
face.
**********
end. (c)2001