"Modern" Mary Jane Jokes


These are Mary Jane jokes that I feel have been made from other jokes and twisted to fit the Mary Jane style, or are less subtle than the other Mary Jane jokes I feel to be more original.

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Contributed by my buddy, Stang.

Uncle Dave was taking a shower when Mary Jane walked in. "Whats that Uncle?" she said, pointing at Uncle Dave's stiffy. "Its a radio, my shower radio." "Oh," says Mary Jane, "And what kind of radio is it?" "It's a, ... , a Toshiba."

And Mary Jane laughed and laughed, because she knew it was Ferranti.

That one took me a second to get - Ferranti = For Auntie. LOL

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Mary Jane was about to have sex when the boy stopped to put on a condom.

Mary Jane just laughed and laughed because she knew the condom wouldn't protect against crabs.

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Contributed by a visitor, Jason Montalbano

Mary Jane was riding a horse when all of a sudden, the horse started bucking up and down, up and down.

Mary Jane just laughed and laughed, because she knew the penis was on the other side.

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Contributed by a visitor, Tracy Perry

Mary Jane was committed to the Insane Asylum for killing the baby she pushed down the hill. One day she was out walking by the pool when another patient jumped into the deep end of the pool, fully clothed, and promptly sunk to the bottom. Mary Jane dived in, pulled the man to safety, did CPR, and proceeded to take him back to his room.

Later the chief doctor call Mary Jane to his office to declare her a hero. "Mary Jane," he said, "I have some good news and some bad news".

"First the good news!" Mary Jane pleaded.

The doctor replied, "Your act of heroism today when you saved that other patient from drowning proves you are not insane and we have decided you are cured and ready to return to normal life"

"What's the bad news?" Mary Jane asked

"The bad news is," the doctor said, "I'm sorry to report the man you saved hung himself from his tie in his bedroom."

And Mary Jane just laughed and laughed, because she knew she just hung him up to dry!

I've seen this as a non-Mary Jane joke, but it does sound like her!

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Contributed by a visitor, Tracy Perry

Mary Jane and her mom were shopping at the Mall one day when they suddenly had to go to the bathroom, so they started to run.

And Mary Jane just laughed and laughed, because she knew she had already went.

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Contributed by a visitor, Tracy Perry

Mary Jane and her boyfriend were fooling around in her bedroom when she heard her dad coming up the steps. She pushed her boyfriend into her closet. Her dad talked for so long that Mary Jane almost forgot that her boyfriend was in the closet. When her dad left, and she finally let him out, he said, "I thought he would never leave. I was about to starve, but I found some jelly-filled eclairs in there, so I ate them.

And Mary Jane just laughed and laughed because she knew they weren't jelly-filled eclairs.

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Created April, 2003. Copyright 2003 Valerie Voight. All rights reserved.
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