Mary Jane Jokes


For a long time, I only knew one Mary Jane joke, the one my grandfather told, from during the Depression era.

Slightly twisted, very often risqué, they are timeless classics! However, they were usually not too dirty, as these came from a time when you didn't tell very dirty jokes in front of ladies. The Mary Jane jokes you usually could, because they were often sly innuendos. Children could hear them and not get the hidden meaning.

Some of these jokes may therefore be more "modern". I've had to think long and hard how to present these. Therefore I have decided to put the more modern ones (yes, it's just my opinion) onto a second page.

At my last job, one gal knew 2 others. Then, when I got my computer, I found a few more. If you know of ones not listed here, please share them!

Ross McElroy not only has contributed a couple new jokes, but also claims that this picture is of the real Mary Jane. Here's what he says, "I actually found a picture of the real Mary Jane, she was born in the early 20's. Some say that she can still be found walking around laughing for no apparent reason."

[The real Mary Jane?]

I have never heard that Mary Jane was real, but I won't argue! :-)



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Mary Jane was walking on the beach one day and saw a shark swimming around a man. The man was screaming, "Help me! Help me!"

And Mary Jane laughed and laughed, because she knew the shark was never going to help that man!

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Mary Jane was on the hilly streets of San Francisco when she saw a baby carriage rolling fast towards a busy intersection with the mother screaming, chasing the carriage.

And Mary Jane laughed and laughed, because she knew there was a stop sign at the bottom of that hill!

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Mary Jane was walking through the forest, and a squirrel ran up her skirt.

And Mary Jane laughed and laughed, because she knew there weren't any nuts up there.

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Mary Jane was walking down the street when a man pulled her into a dark alley and started ripping off all her clothes.

And Mary Jane laughed and laughed, because she knew her clothes wouldn't fit him.

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Mary Jane was at the movies with her boyfriend. He put his hand up her skirt.

And Mary Jane laughed and laughed, because she knew her money was in her shoe.

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Mary Jane pushed her brother into the pool. Her mother said, "You know your brother can't swim!"

And Mary Jane laughed and laughed, because she knew there wasn't any water in that pool.

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Mary Jane was playing on the swings one day, swinging higher and higher. Her mother came out and said, "Mary Jane, don't you swing too high, the boys will see your underwear."

And Mary Jane laughed and laughed, because she knew she wasn't wearing any underwear.


Visitor Will Hayes says he's heard the same joke, except Mary Jane was climbing flagpoles. That Mary Jane!!!! LOL

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This is my grandfather's joke. I think it's the best of the bunch!


Mary Jane was walking downtown and saw a sign in a fabric store that said "Felt, 10 cents."

And Mary Jane laughed and laughed, because she knew where she could get felt for free.

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Mary Jane burnt down the barn one day, and her mother said "Mary Jane! You're in big trouble when your father gets home!"

And Mary Jane laughed and laughed, because she knew her father was in that barn.

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Mary Jane was crossing the street with her mother. As her mother stooped to pick up a quarter, she was hit by a bus.

And Mary Jane laughed and laughed, because she knew it was only a nickel.



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Contributed by my buddy, Stang.

Mary Jane was taking a shower and when her brother Billy came up and threw open the curtain to scare Mary Jane, water flew everywhere!

And Mary Jane laughed and laughed, because she knew she had the only towel.

Jason Montalbano has heard this one with Mary Jane knowing there was only one bar of soap. :-)


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Contributed by my buddy, Stang.

Mary Jane went to the doctor because she hadn't been feeling too well. The doctor told her that she was pregnant with twins.

And Mary Jane just laughed and laughed, because she knew she only did it once.

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Contributed by my buddy, Stang.

Mary Jane had forgotten to do her chores one day and was sitting in her room reading a book. Her father came storming up the stairs and threw open her room door and ripped the book out of her hand and threw it across the room….

And Mary Jane laughed and laughed, because she knew what page she was on.


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Contributed by a visitor, Ross McElroy.

Mary Jane was walking through a cow pasture when she came upon a big, fresh pile of cow manure. On top of this steaming pile of manure was a tiny fly.

And Mary Jane laughed and laughed, because she knew a fly couldn't have made all of that.

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Contributed by a visitor, Ross McElroy.

Mary Jane went to the drive-in movies with her boyfriend. She was looking really fine, so he says, "Hey Mary Jane, do you want to sit in the back seat?". Mary Jane looked at the back seat, then back at her boyfriend.

And Mary Jane just laughed and laughed because she knew she wanted to sit up front with him.

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Contributed by a visitor, Kasey Reynolds

Mary Jane was driving on a mountain road and drove off the side.

And Mary Jane just laughed and laughed because she knew that car did not have air brakes.

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Contributed by a visitor, Loretta Sampson

Mary Jane was asleep in bed one night. A strange man came into her room, took off his clothes, and got in bed with her.

And Mary Jane just laughed and laughed, because she knew she had the only pillow.

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Mary Jane jokes (Page 2)      Go Home! LOL

Created April, 2003. Copyright 2003 Valerie Voight. All rights reserved.
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