Sacred Pain: An Exploration of Self-Injury and its Meaning
By Rosasophia, IV,
About Self-Injury: Who Does it and Why
Intentional harm
to oneself is surprisingly common. It has been estimated that 1-3% of the population
engages in "self-mutilation" (note that self-mutilation has become
the accepted term for self-harm, even though the "mutilation" is
often mild). Thus, with the exception of the mainstream body-mods, such as ear-piercing, small tattoos, etc., self-mutilation
is more common than body modification. For comparison, the major mental
illnesses, schizophrenia, and manic-depressive disorders each has an incidence
in the 1% range. There are three classes of self-injury: Major self-mutilation
includes drastic acts of self-injury such as self-castration, amputation of a
limb, or removal of an eye. Usually
these acts are the result of psychosis or acute intoxication. Often these acts have religious or sexual
undertones (Strong, 1998, p. 26).
Stereotypic self-injury includes head-banging, biting, and skin
scratching. Rhythmic and monotonous
behaviors of this sort are generally associated with organic brain disorders
such as autism, mental retardation, and Tourette's
syndrome. Moderate/superficial self-mutilation
is the most common type of self-injury and falls into three subtypes: episodic,
repetitive, and compulsive. Cutting with
sharp objects such as razors, knives, or glass is the most commonly used method
of injury, followed by burning and hair pulling. By definition, self-mutilation does not
include suicide attempts or injury that is incidental to another activity, such
as masturbation. In short, it includes injury done with intent to they are not
knowledgeable as to the widespread nature of the practice. Cutters tend to be
far more likely to be female than male. Women are prone to "act in"
whereas men are more likely to "act out". “People who self-injure
tend to be dysphoric -- experiencing a depressed mood
with a high degree of irritability and sensitivity to rejection and some
underlying tension -- even when not actively hurting themselves.” (Secret
Shame, 2003) Self-injury often functions to bring relief from unbearable
feelings of dysphoria often triggered by
oversensitivity to rejection. A constructivist theory of self-injurious
behavior (Deiter, Nicholls, & Pearlman, 2000)
holds that people who self-injure usually have not developed three important
self-capacities: the ability to tolerate strong affect, the ability to maintain
a sense of self-worth, and the ability to maintain a sense of connection to
others. The first of these speaks directly to the affect-regulation role of
self-harm; the others are perhaps related to its communicative functions.
Pearlman et al. (2000) note that "when children experience shaming and
punitive rhetoric or physical blows rather than responsive words" they
cannot internalize others are loving and cannot develop the capacity to
maintain a sense of connection to others. They further state, "The ability
to experience, tolerate, and integrate strong affect cannot develop fully when
strong feelings are met with punishment or derision." Having a sense that
some feelings are unacceptable and not allowed also impairs this ability. And
the ability to maintain a sense of oneself as a person of worth cannot be
developed when a child never feels she is good enough, when her existence and
accomplishments are met with silence or abusive words or actions. (Secret
Shame, 2003)
Cutters also have a large likelihood to have an eating
disorder, particularly bulimia, or anorexia. Often a person will cut for a
period, then stop cutting, but become bulimic and so on. Self- mutilation is
often regarded as being part of the personality damage, which results from
childhood sexual abuse. In many cases, however, it appears to be a way to cope
with some of the less pleasant states resulting from mood disorders such as
manic-depressive illness. Cutting is almost always a method of dealing with a
more fundamental problem. It can be potentially harmful and damaging for a
person to stop cutting without first treating the underlying problem. Some experts say that self-injury is a form
of acting out those feelings that a person is unable to identify and therefore
unable to verbalize or otherwise express.
Acting out occurs when a person relives or indirectly expresses
unconscious pain. Self-injury, eating
disorders, violence against others, and severe depression can all be seen as
“acting out via the body”. (Horsefall, 1999, 430)
Disfigurement may also be a way of externalizing anger or other elusive
emotions.
Psychological and Religious Parallels
0. The Unicorn is
speech. Man, rule thy Speech! How else shalt thou
master the Son, and
answer the Magician at the Right Hand Gateway of the
Crown?
1. Here are
practices. Each may last for a week or
more.
alpha . Avoid using
some common word, such as "and" or "the" or
"but"; use a
paraphrase.
beta . Avoid using
some letter of the alphabet, such as "t", or "s". or
"m"; use a
paraphrase.
xi . Avoid using the
pronouns and adjectives of the first person; use a
paraphrase.
Of thine own ingenium devise others.
2. On each occasion
that thou art betrayed into saying that thou art sworn
to avoid, cut thyself
sharply upon the wrist or forearm with a razor; even as
thou shouldst beat a disobedient dog. Feareth not the
Unicorn the claws and
teeth of the Lion?
3. Thine arm then serveth thee both
for a warning and for a record. Thou
shalt write down thy daily
progress in these practices, until thou art
perfectly vigilant at
all times over the least word that slippeth from thy
tongue.
Thus bind thyself,
and thou shalt be for ever free.
- LIBER III VEL JUGORUM
(
In ritual contexts people often willingly injure or allow themselves
to be injured in the belief that the injuries are beneficial to themselves or
the community. Many people who self-injure believe that it not only brings
release to themselves, but also keeps them from being a danger to others. Both
types of self-injury seem to revolve around a sense of empowerment and
affirmation. Ariel Glucklich writes, “The interior
landscape of individuals who injure themselves seldom matches either the
traumatic shock that clinicians and reductionists
attach to injury, or the theories of the neurological and psychological
sciences.” (2003, p.1) The inner consciousness of these individuals with all
their complexity and ambiguities more closely resemble the mental terrain of
saints or mystics who acquire, or claim to acquire, spiritual power by
austerities and self-flagellation than anything else. Religious and
psychiatric self-injury have striking similarities: both can involve shifting
levels of consciousness, hearing, seeing, feeling, or tasting things others do
not; altered perceptions of one’s body, one’s surroundings, and time. In both
cases self-injury is can be a release of mounting tension, either voluntary
tension achieved through ritual music, chanting, or dance, or the involuntary
tensions produced by life events. In both cases, self-injury is often not
perceived as painful because the mind is already in a trance-like state.
(Hyman, 1999, p.193) Purging the self is an act of purification. It is the act of spiritual self-cleansing or the
act of cleansing the body to achieve a higher state of consciousness. Blood is intrinsically symbolic and therefore
its sacrifice is universal and multicultural.
Many people who self-harm engage in purging the body of food (bulimia)
and as a result have become anorexic.
Starving the body has become fashionable under the auspices of attaining
the perfect body or in religious ritual as fasting to cleanse the body. Often people who are anorexic and/or bulimic
also self-injure such as Princess Diana (Harris, 2000, p.172 ) “It is not a
coincidence the words purgation and purgatory are inextricably tied together:
The act of self-cleansing (purgation) is religiously and symbolically linked to
the temporary uncertainty of one’s fate.” (p. 173) "The spilling of blood both gives life
during birth and takes it away at death....Bleeding has always signified
healing, from the bloodletting of early medicine to the psychological release
of ill will know metaphorically as 'getting rid of bad blood'". (Strong,
1998, p. 34) Shamans and other mystics
visualize themselves being torn from limb to limb, their blood drained, and
their bodies resembled and resurrected as a necessary step towards
enlightenment and the ability to heal others.
Cutting and scarification during adolescent initiation rites are tests of
strength, courage, and endurance that help make the transition into adulthood.
Perhaps modern day lack of formal markers and ambiguous boundaries between
adolescence and adulthood is a factor in the growing popularity of cutting
among youth. "Scars like blood are also richly symbolic. They provide a permanent, physical record not
only of pain and injury but also of healing." (p.35)
Many people who self-injure in
non-religious contexts do so for reasons that have overlapping religious connotations
and produce affects similar to religious rituals. Self-injury serves many
functions and frequently these overlap:
The cutting of the skin and the spilling of the 
blood
are performed intentionally for the strengthening of a higher telos or purpose. The act of self-directed violence asserts
the dominion of the ego over lesser bodily subsystems. It does so by
manipulating conscious signals--hurt--through the information circuits of the
body-self. Consequently, these acts become acts of autonomy and even
empowerment--in the very words of many self-mutilators. And paradoxically,
while ego inflicts pain on the body-image, it registers in a different manner
than the pain of an accidental nick of a razor blade, not to mention the cut
inflicted by a torturer. (Glucklich, 2003, p.15)
There are those who have predispositions towards developing addictions to such
practices. There are two biological factors in developing this addiction. First
prior to cutting the person is likely to experience an adrenaline rush as part
of the automatic nervous system's flight-or-flight response to danger and
second, after cutting the body will release endorphins to kill the pain, which
will induce a feeling of calm tranquility.
Self inflicted
renouncement, abnegation, suffering, and detachment are found in Buddhism,
Hindi, Islam, Judaism, and Christianity.
In Catholicism the attempt to control the body through self- inflicted
pain is referred to as mortification.
Mortifications are used to control bodily passions and appetites. The most severe mortification is deliberately
self-inflicted pain. Methods range from
kneeling on bare knees erect on the floor in prayer to self-flagellation. “One
former nun described that is called ‘the discipline’: self-flagellation on the
buttocks and legs three times weekly with either a lighter whip meant to hurt
but leave no traces, or a heavier one that can draw blood. “ (Hyman, 1999, 191)
In the Middle Ages self-inflicted
discomfort and pain was considered an appropriate act of devotion. In addition to denying themselves food monks
would wear coarse shirts made from hair, chain mail, metal plates, whip
themselves, and roll in thorn bushes and nettles. These ascetic practices were meant to subdue
sexual desires, redress guilt, express devotion, and avoid punishment after
death. Some monks considered learning to be indifferent to the body and to
suffering to be training for paradise. (p.191)
The truly
humble person will have a genuine desire to be thought little of, and
persecuted, and condemned unjustly, even in serious matters. For, if she
desires to imitate the Lord, how can she do so better than in this?
- St. Teresa of
Avila: The Way of Perfection (Peers, 1964, Chapter, 13)
Following in the ascetic
footsteps of the early desert fathers, and ignited by the burgeoning
ecclesiastical prominence of the suffering of Christ, religious
self-flagellation originated in the eleventh century among Italian hermits and
monastic reformers, notably Saint Peter Damian (1007-1072). With the rise of
mendicant orders, in particular the Franciscans and Dominicans, the lay Third
Orders of Penance, and ultimately flagellant confraternities in early
thirteenth century Europe, "the discipline", as self-flagellation was
known, spread rapidly until it became "not only a normal feature of
monastic life throughout Latin Christendom but the commonest of all penitential
techniques" (Barker, 1997, Cohn, 1970,p.127). Aside from vicarious
participation in the passion of Jesus Christ, who was flagellated (Matthew 27:
26; Mark 15: 15; John 19: 1) on Maundy Thursday, prior to his crucifixion and
death on Good Friday, corporeal subjugation was intended to catalyze the
transition from a life devoted to gratification of bodily desires to a higher
sanctified life in the spirit (Barker, 1997, Sabbatucci,
1987, p.114). As Thomas à Kempis
(1380-1471) suggested in his The Imitation of Christ, the triumph of spirit
over matter, soul over body, and eternal over temporal is made possible and
manifested through self-discipline and denial (Barker, 1997, Zialcita, 1986, p.61).
Dominic Loricatus,
an eleventh-century ascetic, was renowned for his mortifications. His very name derives from lorica, which means heavy metal plates. He hung these plates from his body, which he
gradually increased until he had eight hanging on his neck, hips, and
legs. He “turned the reciting of the
Psalters into rituals of self-injury: for every ten Psalms he would whip
himself a thousand times, and for every fifteen perform one hundred genuflexions [sic]. Loricatus regularly recited the Psalters twenty times every
six days. He is said to carry the wounds
of Christ on his body.” (Hyman, 1999, 191-92)
Accounts of self-mortification continue
after the Middle Ages as well. We have
two particularly well-documented accounts of two Italian women from the
sixteenth and seventeenth centuries. Orsola Giuliani, born 1660, was influenced by her mother’s
piety and by accounts of the saint’s lives.
Around the age of three, feeling the desire to suffer, she put her hand
to the firepot so that it would burn like the martyred saints. She also punished herself by putting her hand
in an open door until it accidentally shut on her fingers after hearing about a
Saint who had punished herself by slamming a trunk down on her fingers. “But these things were mere notions done
without any understanding,” she later said.
In describing her many secret acts of self-punishment she said, “I
wanted no one to see me…I did all sorts of things, but without the light of
God, because I did not understand what I was doing. I only watched that no one would know.”
The idea of marrying revolted Orsola, who only wanted to enter a convent, which is
exactly what she did at the age of seventeen. There she was renamed Sister
Veronica. At the convent Sister Veronica
bore a heavy wooden yoke on her shoulders, a large rock on her tongue, and beat
herself with chains and sharply studded flagellating instruments. She also reports the devil took her form and
went around in her form to make her superiors angry. It was only with great
difficulty that Veronica convinced her superiors that demons were about and
that they were attacking her. In her
mid-thirties wounds appeared on her hands, feet, and breasts that would not
stop bleeding. Her superiors suspected her injuries were self-inflicted rather
than a sign from God. Though she was eventually canonized, they could not
decide if she was a saint or a witch while she was alive.
And we nuns are
doing everything we can, by giving up our freedom for the love of God and
entrusting it to another, and in putting up with so many trials -- fasts,
silence, enclosure, service in choir -- that however much we may want to
indulge ourselves we can do so only occasionally: perhaps, in all the convents
I have seen, I am the only nun guilty of self-indulgence. Why, then, do we
shrink from interior mortification, since this is the means by which every
other kind of mortification may become much more meritorious and perfect, so
that it can then be practised with greater
tranquility and ease? This, as I have said, is acquired by gradual progress and
by never indulging our own will and desire, even in small things, until we have
succeeded in subduing the body to the spirit. I repeat that this consists
mainly or entirely in our ceasing to care about ourselves and our own
pleasures, for the least that anyone who is beginning to serve the Lord truly
can offer Him is his life. Once he has surrendered his will to Him, what has he
to fear?
- St. Teresa of Avila: The Way of Perfection
(Peers, 1964, Chapter, 12)
As a child Mary Magdalen
de’Pazzi, a devout sixteenth-century Flourentine, would fast; wear a crown of thorns, whip
herself, and before going to bed, tie, a prickly belt around her body. When she was ten, she made a vow of virginity
and chastity. After puberty she entered a convent where she burned herself with
hot wax and continued to whip herself, sometimes with a chain. While a nun she would sometimes writhe and
convulse on the floor while experiencing hallucinations of being attacked and
beaten. She suffered from involuntary
thoughts and lewd images that drove her to roll naked in thorns and whip
herself until she bled. She would also
ask other nuns to whip, slap, spank, and walk upon her. Sixty-two years after her death she was
canonized.
The Sufis built a system of asceticism and moral culture founded on the
belief that there is an element of evil in humankind, a lower or appetitive
soul. This evil self, the seat of passion and lust, is called nafs and is approximate to 'the flesh,'
which with its allies, the world and the devil, constitutes the great obstacle
to the attainment of union with God. The Prophet said: "Thy worst enemy is
thy nafs,
which is between thy two sides." (Nicholson, 1914, p. 40) Mohammed ibn ‘Ulyan, an eminent Sufi, relates that one day something like
a young fox came forth from his throat, and God caused him to know that it was
his nafs.
He trod on it, but at every kick he gave it grew bigger. He said. "Other
things are destroyed by pain and blows: why dost thou increase?" "
Because I was created perverse," it replied; "what is pain to other
things is pleasure to me, and their pleasure is my pain." (p. 40)
The nafs
of Hallaj was seen running behind him in the form of
a dog. Other instances are recorded in
which it appeared as a snake or a mouse.
Mortification of the nafs is the primary work of devotion, and leads, directly or
indirectly, to the contemplative life. All the Sheykhs
agree that no disciple who neglects this duty will ever learn the essentials of
Sufism. The principle of mortification is that the nafs should be weaned from those
things to which it is accustomed, that it should learn to resist its passions,
that its pride should be broken, and that through suffering and tribulation its
eyes should be opened to the vileness of its original nature and the impurity
of its actions. Self-mortification, as
advanced Sufis understand it, is a moral transmutation of the inner man.
"Die before ye die," does not imply that the lower self can be
essentially destroyed, but that it can and should be purged of its evil
attributes. (p. 41)
The cutting of the skin and the spilling of
the blood are performed intentionally for the strengthening of a higher telos or purpose. The act of self-directed violence asserts
the dominion of the ego over lesser bodily subsystems. It does so by
manipulating conscious signals--hurt--through the information circuits of the
body-self. Consequently, these acts become acts of autonomy and even
empowerment--in the very words of many self-mutilators. And paradoxically,
while ego inflicts pain on the body-image, it registers in a different manner
than the pain of an accidental nick of a razor blade, not to mention the cut
inflicted by a torturer. (Glucklich, 2003, p.15) Finally there is the occult method of
disciplining the mind (or behavior-modification) of cutting the wrist or
forearm with a razorblade whenever an unwanted thought or action occurs. There
are many other ways to train one’s mind and behavior, but it is certainly
interesting that Crowley would advocate “cutting”. Liber Jugorum is not so unlike what the “cutter” does. A “cutter” frequently cuts to curb unwanted
thoughts, feelings and therefore potential behaviors. For example someone may cut to stop unwanted
thoughts of a lost love (obsession).
This is the very principle of Liber Jugorum. Someone may
cut to stop feelings of rage thereby stopping themselves from trashing a room
or punching their spouse. The behaviors
are not so very different. Feelings need
to be recognized and expressed in ways that allow them to be released. Ideally society would prefer other ways of
expression. Of course the goal is
ultimately to no longer need to cut to control the thoughts, feelings, or
behavior and this is where “cutters” often fail. Some, however, do in the end succeed if given
proper guidance and therapy. On the
other hand if cutting does not cause the practitioner any shame, harm, or
distress and serves a meaningful, positive purpose in his or her life, why
should they feel obligated to stop? If cutting becomes a danger or an addiction
then it is a problem and not a tool.
Problems need to be eradicated and replaced with healthier options.
References:
Barker,
M. (1997). The revival of religious self-flagellation in low-land christian philippines, from
University of Hawaii at Manoa, Honolulu, Hawaii,
Retrieved May 12, 2003, from http://www2.hawaii.edu/~millado/flagellationfolder/flagellation.html
Deiter, P., S. Nicholls & L.A. Pearlman. 2000. Self-injury and
self capacities: Assisting an individual in crisies. Journal
of Clinical Psychology 56 (9), 1173-1191.
Glucklich, A.
2003. Pain and self sacrifice: A phenomenological psychology of sacred pain.
Harvard Theological Review Vol. 92.4:479-506. Retrieved June 5, 2003, from
http://www.self-injury.net/resources/articles/readarticle.php?id=41
Harris, J. 2000.
Self-harm: Cutting the bad out of me. Qualitative Heath Research Vol 10, No. 2, 164-173.
Horsfall, J.,
PhD. 1999. Toward understanding some complex borderline behaviors. Journal
of Psychiatric and Mental Health 6, 425-432.
Hyman, J.W. 1999. Women living with
self-injury. Temple University Press: Philadelphia, Pa.
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MD 1985. Narcissism: Denial of the true self. Collier Books: New York.
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http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/intro.html
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mystics of Isam. Routledge,
Kegan Paul, London.
Retrieved May, 13, 2003, from
http://www.sacred-texts.com/isl/moi/moi.htm
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http://www.siari.co.uk
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To get a better perspective of the phenomena, I recommend the
following books:
Books:
Bodies Under Siege: Self-Mutilation in Culture and Society by Armando R.
Favazza, M.D. This is generally regarded as the best
overall book on the subject. If it has any drawbacks, they are that it devotes
too little time to minor mutilations such as superficial cutting, and the
causes thereof.
Women Who Hurt Themselves: A Book of Hope and Understanding by Dusty
Miller. Despite the title, much of what is in this book applies to men too. The
emphasis of this book is upon victims of childhood abuse, which accounts for
many, but not all self-mutilators. Within this range it is very good.
Women Living With Self Injury by J. Hyman. This book also deals with the
stories of women who self-injure, may of them abused as children. It looks into
many aspects of self-injury and how it affects the lives of those affected by
this secret shame.
A Bright Red Scream by Marilee Strong. This is a wonderful, insightful book, which
covers self-injury from the many angles it presents. It includes personal accounts, psychological
analyses, and a broad, compassionate view of the subject.