Happy Harts

Jonathan Hart awoke feeling good. And why not, he was healthy, wealthy and married to the most terrific woman in the world. Plus, today was his birthday. Tonight he and that wonderful woman would celebrate but right now he wanted to get a head start on the party, a sample to hold him over until this evening. He turned over and reached for Jennifer.

She wasn't there.

He pouted and listened carefully to see if he could hear her in the dressing rooms. No such luck and by the temperature of the sheets and covers she hadn't been around for some time. He sighed and decided to get up anyway.

After showering and shaving he dressed and went downstairs in search of that sample he had missed out on.

"Jennifer?" She wasn't in the living room or den so he went into the kitchen to see if Max knew where she was hiding.

"Max? Jennifer?" The kitchen was empty as well. Now where were they? It was too early for them to be off doing errands or whatever and he didn't think they would have left him alone on his birthday morning without saying good morning or at least leaving a note. Whatever the reason, there was no one in the house.

All alone on his birthday.

What a sorry way to start the day. He scrounged some breakfast for himself and got ready to go to the office. He walked out the back door and stopped dead in his tracks.

The yard inhabited by a huge flock of pink plastic flamingos. Each bird was wearing a bow tie that flashed little lights in various colors. The display was quite impressive in a tacky kind of way. Row after row of the brightly colored birds staked a claim to their portion of the lawn. He shook his head, laughing. No wonder Max and Jennifer were hiding. It was good thing the house set far back from the road as Bel Air had an ordinance against these traditionally tacky lawn ornaments. He was beginning to feel a little better by the time he got to the car.

Until he opened the door.

When he did a veritable flood of ping pong balls poured out. The entire car had been filled with them. Not wanting to take the time to scoop the car free from driving hazards he decided to drive the station wagon instead. Wrong! The ping pong bandit had been there too. In fact, all of the vehicles had been given the same treatment. This was beginning to be annoying rather than funny.

"Just you wait guys, just wait until I catch up with you!" He muttered as he resigned himself to clearing out the driver's area of the Jag. He was still plotting revenge as he drove around the front of the house and saw that the front lawn and lake had also been taken over by pink waterfowl. "Oh no!" He laughed. "When did they have time to do all this?"

Up the drive he went, threading his way between an honor guard of flamingos. When the big gate came into sight he laughed again. Spelled out in flashing pink Christmas lights were the words Happy Birthday!

He passed through the gates and turned toward town. He almost missed the first sign. It was a large billboard and the only word on it was "Jonathan" written in large pink letters surrounded by red hearts and courting flamingos. More signs soon followed.

"Two Harts, One Love"

"A Gift From Heaven Above"

"Friendship, Surprise and Adventure"

"Each Day I Thank God For This Love"

"Strong Sweet And Pure"

"More Precious Than Treasure"

"My Life, My Love, With You"

"Always And Forever"

"Jennifer"

Jonathan was touched by the public declaration of love but the sentiment left him a little embarrassed too. He knew that the other drivers reading the signs didn't know who they were for but he blushed anyway. He felt so lucky that he thought he minght just forgive the ping pong balls. Maybe.

The day at the office was kept low key. Deanne and some of his closer staff presented him with a cake and they had a small party. No one mentioned the ping pong balls laying around the office. Yes, the ping pong bandit had struck there as well, filling unexpected spaces with balls: desk drawers, the ice bucket, behind the window shades and in the art work and there was another pair of flamingos standing in the African vase. He didn't even want to think about what had been done to his bathroom.

All through the day he had expected to hear from his wife. It wasn't like her to go so long without calling. He was beginning to worry about what she had up her sneaky little sleeve. Calling the house didn't help. He just got to listen to the answering machine.

The afternoon wore on. One more call confirmed his family had not returned. Worried about more that simple pranks now he decided that the boss could leave a little early and made a beeline for his car. The elevator opened and he stepped out. The floor seemed deserted and his footsteps echoed as he walked toward his car. Suddenly, someone stepped out behind him and stuck what felt like a gun into his back.

"Mr. Hart? You just stay calm now and you might just make it through this in one piece. Don't think about fighting us. We've got your lady and if we don't show up with you our boss might just take it out on her. Bobby! Get out here." Another man came out from behind a car and tied Jonathan's hands, firmly but not uncomfortably, behind his back and put a mask over his face. "Okay buddy, We're going to put you in a car and go for a ride. You just be quiet and lay still and nothing bad will happen." They shoved him in the back seat of a car, taking care not to let him bump his head and got underway.

Jonathan was thinking frantically. Who were these men and what had they done with Jennifer? He had been right to worry about her. What about Max? Where was he? While they had Jennifer there wasn't anything he could do against them. At least, he thought with grim satisfaction, not until he knew where they had taken her. Then these punks might be in for a surprise.

The car slowed to a stop and the men got out. They helped Jonathan out of the car then they led him down a walkway. Jonathan could tell this was a waterfront because of the smells and the way the walkway gave as they stepped on it.

The trio went up what could have only been a gangplank and boarded a boat.

"Boss! We got him, just like you said."

"Good"

"What do we do with him now?"

"You'll find out in a minute. Bobby, you watch him. Be careful. He's sneaky." The boss' voice was soft and trying to whisper but it sounded somehow familiar.

Jonathan heard the two men leave the room. "Bobby, you know kidnaping is a serious offense don't you? You can get in a lot of trouble if you keep working with these guys. If you help me I'll see you get all the breaks you can to beat the charge."

"Quiet you! Just sit there. Your waiting will be over soon enough." Bobby laughed and Jonathan didn't like the sound.

"Will you at least tell me if my wife is alright? Have they hurt her? Where is she?"

"I said be quiet! The boss'll tell you what you need to know, when and if you need to know."

In the next room the boss was telling the hoodlum what to do. "You tell him that we are taking the boat out from the harbor and dropping anchor. Then we will leave him here to wait for the party that wanted him kidnaped. Tell him not to try roaming around or he might just take an unexpected swim. He should just sit there like a good boy."

"OK boss. But why can't you tell him this stuff?"

"Because I don't want him to recognize my voice, that's why."

"Oh."

The kidnapper went back into the room while the boss went up to the bridge to start the journey.

Once the boss' message had been passed on Jonathan was confused. What was going on? No ransom demands, no rough stuff, just a demand that he sit quietly on a boat in the middle of nowhere. Did the really have Jennifer or was this a ploy to get him out of the way so they could get to her. Frustration was mounting.

Soon, the crew dropped anchor and departed.

The silence was oppressive, accentuated by the ripple of waves as they hit the boat and an occasional lonesome bird cry.

Then he began to wonder if his mind was playing tricks on him. He heard music, faint but definitely there. "Hello! Is anyone there? Hello?" His calls went unanswered. The he noticed something else. There was someone in the room with him. He could hear breathing and smell some sort of perfume. It was a hauntingly familiar smell that tugged at his memory. Orchids, that's what it was. He was beginning to get a funny, suspicious feeling about the whole situation when the unseen presence came closer and he could feel the warmth of the person's body standing in front of him. Hands unbuttoned his shirt and massaged his chest. Soft kisses cascaded across his collar bone and down across his chest to pause at his nipples. Soft teasing touches massaged him there just long enough to make him want to whimper for more. The kisses continued downward and the hands began to fumble at his belt.

By this time Jonathan had a pretty good idea about the identity of his unseen assailant and was amused at the lengths to which she had gone to gain his attention. If she wanted to play games then who was he to deny her. He lay back and prepared to enjoy the experience. His trousers and shorts had hit the deck and his attendant had carefully removed them and his shoes and socks, massaging and teasing his feet and legs with her mouth and fingers. As she moved her way up his legs his manhood stood up to welcome her. Gentle hands possessed him and stroked him. One hand held his shaft firmly while the other massaged his testicles. Her mouth enveloped the head of his penis. The feel of her silky hair brushing against him as she attended to his pleasure was incredibly arousing. Her tongue traced the rim and then flicked back and forth over the crown until she could feel him begin to tremble. Then she began to apply herself in earnest. Moving up and down his shaft with strong massaging lips she brought him to a fever pitch and when he thought he endure no more she took him in entire and sent him shuddering over the brink into ecstacy with the cry "Jennifer!" on his lips.

While he was recovering she untied his hands and eased his shirt and jacket off. Then she came around front to remove the blinding mask. "Surprise!" Jonathan looked up at Jennifer. Her beautiful body was naked except for some flowers at her wrist and ankle and intertwined in her hair. She was standing in front of him like some offering to a native king, her body aglow from the sensations that they had just shared. Reaching up he pulled her to him on the sofa and kissed her, their tongues and lips exploring, seeking to share the passion they felt. When they came up for air she played with his hair a bit, smoothing it back into place. They sat cuddled together, Jennifer with her head on his shoulder, encircled by his strong arms, savoring the moment. This closeness was almost as powerful and enjoyable as their love making. "Were you surprised? Did you know it was me?"

"Not until you undressed me. How could I not recognize the touch of my beloved? It felt like you, tasted like you and smelled like you so I gave up worrying about what those guys were doing to you and started paying attention to what you were doing to me."

"Smelled like me?"

"Yes. Darling, if you wanted to disguise yourself you should have worn something besides your Jennifer perfume."

"Oh! Yeah I guess you're right! I'm glad to know you recognized me. I'd hate to think you'd respond that way to just any girl," she teased. "Are you having a happy birthday?"

"Right now, the happiest. The day did have it's low points though."

"It did? Such as ... ?"

"Oh, little things like waking up alone and not hearing form the woman I love all day long. You abandoned me! Then there were the 9 million and 74 ping pong balls! Lord you were a busy woman today. Not to mention being kidnaped and worried about you."

"You forgive me?" she gave him her best big eyed waif look.

"Yeah, I forgive you. Just tell me, where on earth did you find so many ping pong balls and flamingos?"

"The flamingos are rented from an agency that annoys people on their birthdays. Did it work?," she asked with a sly grin. He nodded and she smiled broadly. "Good! I'm afraid the ping pong balls are all ours. I do have an idea or two how we could put them to use around the house or if you just can't stand to see them anymore we could probably donate them to kids clubs or Y's or such."

"But why ping pong balls?" he asked.

"Well, I just wanted you to have a ball on your birthday!"

As he groaned she added, "Besides, I always thought it was hilarious when Bunny Rabbit got Captain Kangaroo and the gang with ping pong balls from the sky and this was as close as I could get to playing that prank."

"So," she asked, "would you like some dinner or would you care to have your dessert first?" He eyed her up and down and opened his mouth to claim dessert when his stomach let forth with a ferocious growl. The both laughed and Jonathan bowed to the inevitable once again and allowed himself to be led to the galley. He didn't take his eyes off his hostess though and he stopped her when she tried to put on a robe. "No. The night is warm and you are my birthday present. I want to look at you."

"Your will, my lord." she responded with a formal bow.

Max had prepared them a veritable feast including several trays of fancy desserts. He had misunderstood a bit when she told him they were going to have a party so there was way too much food for the two of them. Oh well, she thought, what they didn't eat would keep.

Jonathan sat on his chair like a potentate of old and demanded to be fed by his serving girl. She complied. Jonathan was enjoying this scenario very much and missed the mischievous glimmer in her eyes. After a short time she decided they had eaten enough. After all, they didn't want to be so full they couldn't enjoy the rest of the night's festivities.

When next Jonathan called for his wine glass he got a little more than he planned. Instead of bringing the glass to his lips Jennifer "accidently" poured some out on his chest. "Oh! My lord, I am sorry. Permit this lowly serving girl to correct her error." With that she began to lick the spilled wine from him slowly, taking care to do a good job. He smiled at this new twist to the game and took her up on the challenge.

"Would you like a little dessert, my flower?"

"Yes my lord."

"Fetch some then. I wish to watch you eat."

She walked over to the counter and selected a piece of cherry pie and returned to his side.

"Wench! You have chosen no eating utensil! How will you manage to eat this succulent treat?"

"This way my lord." She sat down on his lap facing him and pushed the pie onto his chest and then spread the filling around until he was covered with the sticky mess. Then she began to enjoy her dessert, licking and sucking tidbits off his well muscled chest.

"That does look good," he decided and stood up, still holding her and went to find his own dessert. He chose a chocolate mousse, sat her on the counter and spread it across her breasts and down her belly.

This type of fun, given the playful mood they were in and the abundance of food Max had left them could have only one ending ... food fight! The silliness led to more and more food being smeared across various surfaces and body parts until Jennifer picked up a peach pie and tossed it at Jonathan. He had been intent on removing a cherry from her chest and didn't see the pie coming. It hit him square in the face. She burst out laughing at his expression as the pie filling dripped off his face. One especially stubborn peach slice stuck determinedly to the tip of his nose. His eyes got that look.

"Oh, so you think that's funny do you? Really funny, hmmm? We'll just have to see how much you like the feeling."

"Oh no!" she cried, backing away. But it was too late.

Jonathan picked her up, slippery as she was, headed for the dessert counter. On it was a platter of beautiful strawberry tarts: flaky crust, firm ripe berries and rich whipped cream. He lifted her up above the counter and deposited her on top of the plate of tarts.

"OH! Ooooooooh!" was her response, surprise and shock quickly turning into a low, throaty giggle-moan as the fruity confection found its way into places fruit generally didn't go. He pulled her to the edge of the counter and kissed her playfully, savoring all the added flavors as well as her natural taste. "Had enough?" he asked. She smiled and hugged him tightly, laying her head on his shoulder. He picked her up again and they went down the companionway to their bedroom where they proceeded to finish their dessert. All the confections were delicious but ever afterward Jonathan would maintain a preference for strawberry tarts. Not only were those tarts delectable but the container was the most interesting he had ever eaten from.

When they had finished a moonlight swim washed away the sticky residue and woke them up a bit. When they climbed back on board they went to the other bedroom and cuddled in bed. Laying close and touching, sexually sated for the moment, they were content to talk and catch up with each other's busy lives. Before long Jennifer, who had started plotting very early that day, snuggled into his side and drifted off to sleep. He held her and thought about his wild day, ping pong balls and all, and sent up a prayer of thanks that God had led Jennifer into his life. He watched her as a mischievous smile played across her sleeping face and he wondered what she was dreaming about and if it had anything to do with her plans for the 9,000,074 ping pong balls.

Life was good and he was indeed a lucky man.

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