Welcome to the beginners guide to cow tupping. For those of you who don't know, cow tupping is a pastime widely practised in the countryside, and is currently pushing for recognition as a sport and entry into the Olympic Games by 2020. The basic rules are to complete the most difficult tupping, with as few attempts as possible. In competition, three fails at any one tup signals the end of a tuppers challenge. If two tuppers have completed a tup of the same level of difficulty in the same number of attempts, then a countback system is employed. The total number of attempts used in the whole competition is computed, with the tupper who has taken the least attempts to finish being the winner. If there is still a tie, then the speed of the final tup is used to determine the winner, and in the unlikely event no winner can be determined from this then the contest is declared a tie.

However, cow tupping is not simply a competitive activity, but is also a popular amateur pastime. This website is designed so as to help virgin tuppers to overcome their fear and take their first tup. So we begin.


There are many variations on equipment used by competitive cow tuppers, although most would recommend a set of sturdy gloves and a decent pair of training shoes. Other do wear body armour, and some have been known to carry items for protection, although the use of these in many competitions can result in disqualification.


As with the equipment there are many different levels of tupping available to you. The easiest tups are widely regarded to be fresian cows, which are easily recognised by their distinctive black and white markings. Other relatively easy tups can be recognised by their brownish coats. Beginners are often advised to perform their first tup at night, when their target will be less aware than normal. More advanced tups include the Highland with its large horns and deceptive shaggy coat making the tupping technique difficult, the fighting bull which is often alert and not easily tupped, and the buffalo. Widely regarded as the Holy Grail of cow tupping, the buffalo should only be attempted by experienced tuppers in controlled conditions.

After having decided on your target it is time for you to perform the tup. Here you see a demonstration by one of the top ranked tuppers in the world on a fresian.

Firstly, you must assess your target. Get used to its movements and character and begin to build trust. Try to remain as quiet as possible so as not to disturb your target. As soon as you feel you are ready, attempt to make your way to one side of your target.

Once you are beside your target, quickly push it away from you in a swift sharp movement, while at the same time, attempting to step backwards and retreat a safe distance. If you complete this stage well enough, your tup should be complete. Now is the time to admire you handiwork, and select your next target.

Click here to return to The Wondrously Random World. We hope you enjoy the site.

The Wondrously Random World Accepts No Responsibility For Injuries Sustained Partaking In This Pastime. The Tupper Accepts Responsability For Any Incidents Incurred By Partaking In The Tup, Even If It Involves A Farmer With A Shot Gun. Thankyou.

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