Gardian Grandfolks from OH FOR HEAVENS SAKE


As most of my friends know, I will be visiting this marvelous couple in New Zealand the end of October, 1999. The three of us have been conversing via icq for about 5 months now. There is a bit of friendly verbal rivalry constantly flying back and forth on a daily basis. Merv started it with this first piece and I followed with the second. They represent two different views on the same subject. LOL Merv's was sent in the form of teasing, mine in retaliation!

UPDATE: Read about my trip in the New Zealand pages!


Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you are less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions. How old are you? …. "I’m four and a half going on five!

That’s the key. You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back! You jump to the next number. How old are you? "I’m gonna be 16." You could be 12, but you’re gonna be 16.

And then the greatest day of your life happens…you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony…you BECOME 21…YES!!!

But then you turn 30…oooohhh what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED, we had to throw him out. There’s no fun now. What’s wrong?? What changed?? You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, you’re PUSHING 40…stay over there, it’s all slipping away!

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, you’re PUSHING 40, you REACH 50….and your dreams are gone. Then you make it to 60….you didn’t think you’d make it!!!

So!!! You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, you’re PUSHING 40, you REACH 50, you MAKE IT to 60….then you build up so much speed you HIT 70!

After that, it’s a day by day thing. After that you HIT Wednesday. You GET INTO your 80’s, you HIT lunch! It TURNS 4:30; my grandmother won’t even buy green bananas…its an investment you know and maybe a bad one!

And it doesn’t end there!!! Into the 90’s you start going backwards…I was just 92. Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again…."I’m a hundred and a half!!!"


The Golden Years are here at last;

I cannot see, I cannot pee;

I cannot chew, I cannot screw;

My memory shrinks, my hearing stinks;

No sense of smell, I look like hell;

The Golden Years have come at last;

The Golden Years can kiss my ass!

Like the old folk?
There are more available but my space is limited.
The Guardian Grandfolk figurines may be purchased at

{Daughter #1}{Daughter #2}{Rugrats}{Battered Angel}{The Key}{Origin of Man}{Dreamer}
{Special Friend}{Siren}{Foreign Girl}{The Invitation}{Still Feel You}{Taupo}
{Wai Ha Ha){Who Knows}{Through Their Eyes}(New Zealand Dreamin'}{NZ Pics}
{Awards}{Grandma Doesn't Care}{Warren Artwork}
{Here Kitty Kitty}{YOUNG GIRLS}{Links}
{Momma Taught Me}{Kid Quips}
{Graphics Lessons}{Graphics Lessons II}{Webrings}

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