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My Family |
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It was about 7:00pm when we decided to go back to Roccamorice and attempt to meet my family. Our new friends spoke with Gabriele from the Tholos, who knew the name of the street where my cousins lived. We parked the car and as we were getting out, Horst saw a man he knew who told him the exact home of the Ferrari’s. My cousins Tonino, Aldo and Lydia Ferrari are the sons and daughter of my great-aunt Grazia Cafarelli, sister to my grandfather Salvatore. As we walked down the streets a wave of panic struck me – “What if they were not home? What if they don’t like surprises?” You know, all those things you think of when you think you could have done it differently, struck me then and there. Horst rang the doorbell and knocked loudly. I noted to myself that my knees knocked loudly too! My moment had arrived. From the second floor we heard a voice – we instinctively looked and found a woman speaking to us with her head poked out of a window. As was only natural, she was inquiring about us and Horst patiently interpreted my frantic words so she would understand the nature of our visit. Another woman appeared in the window, and when I mentioned my grandfather Salvatore’s name she became excited and left the window to come down to let us in. I knew in that brief moment with still trembling knees, “Indeed, this is why I came…” |
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We were escorted in and went upstairs where my cousins Armida and AnnaRita then greeted us. We hugged and kissed cheeks and I think they were as amazed about me as I was about them. Armida is Tonino’s wife, AnnaRita is their daughter. They told us that Tonino went to the barber and would soon return, and invited us into the kitchen for an apertivo and fruit. I think the first few moments were a bit awkward for everyone but that soon passed. It’s not everyday they have strangers knocking at their door in the dark, announcing they’ve traveled from America to meet them. My Italian family hasn’t met many of us from America, and I am only the 4th to make the journey. Twenty or so years ago, my Uncle Tot (Alberto) and his wife Marion stopped by during their travels through Italy. My cousin Nina, who now resides in England, visited twice. The first time she went was five or so years ago with her husband Tony. The second time (a couple of years later) was for the benefit of her father and mother, (my Uncle Biase (Bobby) and Aunt Jean) while they were on holiday in England. From what I could glean, my relatives have never been to America so they are just as inquisitive about us, as we are about them… |
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Shortly after our arriving Tonino came home, and cousin Lydia came over. Introductions were made and we all sat in the kitchen while Horst worked his magic interpreting for both sides, and I could see he was somewhat exhausted from his efforts. My cousins were stern with me for a few reasons – I didn’t come sooner, I wasn’t staying overnight with them (they have 10 rooms!), and lastly my Italian was quite poor and next to none. They hoped I was able to speak directly with them. I was embarrassed about not speaking Italian, but we all laughed and I promised that when I return to Italy I would understand the language better. That is a promise I plan to keep… |
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Ferrari's home
Tonino, Donamaria, Lidia, AnnaRita & Armida |
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Horst, Lidia, Donamaria & Antonio at Lidia's home |
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We straightened out the family information – theirs, that of our relatives who emigrated to Toronto, and mine back in America. Through Horst I was surprised to learn something no one in my family seemed to know back in the states. The collective “we” thought Salvatore had two siblings, but they told us there were six in all! Besides Salvatore, Grazia and Giuseppe, there was Maria Conchetta, Carminella, and Angelino! This was where I felt the lump in my throat thicken and widen again – the very same one I felt at S. Spirito as I climbed the prayer steps. We in America have lived our entire lives up to this day, unenlightened about our own people. I am not aware of any of us who consciously realized that grandpa had 5 siblings. I think if one family member had known that, it would only make sense that we all would have known it too, and we didn’t. I was both saddened and elated with the information being offered to me. This was an unusual event - I had no intention of inquiring beyond the two siblings that I knew about, but because I did inquire I was blessed with the knowledge about the others. I was so very grateful to have met people who were alive and well, and who could share important history with me about my grandfather’s immediate family. I vowed to pass this information along in America…
We laughed and hugged and took pictures together. I felt like family to my geographically distant relatives, and that I, Donamaria mattered. Lidia is the "baby" in her family and my mother Helen (Elena) is the baby in her's. It wasn't always so though - the youngest in mom's family was Arthur, who was killed by a car when he was about 12 years old. I told Lidia that she reminded me a lot of my mother - the resemblance was strong and they could be sisters. Unfortunately, I did not get to meet Aldo, Tonino's and Lidia's brother... it was an emotional meeting for me and I neglected to mention him, nor do I remember them mentioning him to me. So, I have something to look forward to on my next visit... |
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My friends and I stayed only a few hours; we felt we had imposed long enough since we called on them without warning. As we were leaving Lidia put her coat on and followed us downstairs. She told Horst she wanted to show me the house of my grandfather, which she now occupies. Somewhere along the way I had heard mumblings that grandpa had a house in Italy, which amazed me - he was only 17 or 18 when he emigrated. I have inklings he must have always been that mature white-haired man I remember. I was about to see where Salvatore spent his youth. "Oh my" I thought to myself, "This is the reason I came..." |
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We walked into Lidia's home and it was simply beautiful. The family spent much time renovating the interior. Again I felt my emotions rise into my throat as she talked about her mother raising 11 children in that 3 or 4 room house. She repeatedly told me it was small - and I told her it was perfect. I took pictures of the inside for our family back in the America... I knew my mom and her siblings would also want to see it. My Uncle Bobby, who also had the benefit of seeing it after the extensive work was done, told me that originally the floors were made of dirt. While we were there Lidia said grandpa owned land, or field, not far from the house, but we knew it would be impossible to view it in the dark. I knew my family in America would be as proud as I was to see grandpa's house come back to life, and to see life still being lived within it's walls. I knew my grandfather, but I don't think I ever felt as close to him as when I walked into "his" house in Roccamorice. I am very grateful to Lidia for caring enough to share her home with me, and to the Ferrari family for keeping my grandfather's house alive.
Again we said our good-byes and walked back up the street to Antonio's car. We climbed in and I thanked both Antonio and Horst for taking me there, and making it possible for me to meet Tonino, Lidia, Armida and AnnaRita. |
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Outside grandpa's house which Lidia now owns and occupies
Left - Lidia on the front steps
Right - Back steps |
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It was late and we were exhausted when we arrived back at Tholos. We would see Antonio again the next day since he was driving us back to Pescara to catch the train back to Roma. We knew we would not have the opportunity to see Horst again - he plays league football (soccer) and he had a scheduled game the next day. Once back at the Tholos Antonio remarked on the sounds. I stood there and heard nothing but serene silence, which sent shivers down my spine. It was so very peaceful on that mountain... a complete stillness I'd never quite heard before. We stood very still and listened to the sounds of LaRocca, and I instinctively knew, "This is why I came..."
Our friends came inside to drop us off and say goodbye to Gabriele. I dreaded that moment because I truly did not want our time to end. Pam and I decided that had we thought better, we would have chosen to stay in Roccamorice for the remainder of our trip. There was so much we hadn't seen... As it was, we left our luggage with the hotel in Roma and we each traveled to the the east coast of Italy with only an overnight bag. I'll never make that mistake again. We gave our ciaos and hugs to Antonio for the evening and to Horst till next we meet in LaRocca.
After they left we sat down to one of the most magnificent, memorable meals of my life, prepared by Gabriele. Our friends told us that people come from as far as Pescara just to dine at the Tholos, and I believed it. We had a 7 course meal that was simply out of my world, because many of the dishes were foreign to me. While we dined several couples came for dinner. Gabriele and his wife have teenage children who served us, and they were professional. Pam asked one daughter who was about 14 or so if she spoke any English. She indicated she did, then as Italians love to do, put her fingers to her lips and kissed them. I'm not sure if she understood Pam's question, but she was adorable. My meal was a real treat and I knew I came all the way to the mountains of Abruzzo for this memorable occasion...
With our feast complete with local vino, Pam and I realized we were well beyond exhausted. Gabriele gave us one of his cell phones to use as an alarm clock the next morning so we would be sure to make it downstairs for breakfast, before Antonio came to take us back to Pescara. We made our way up to our apartment, we each found our rooms and we went to bed. It didnt take long for me to fall asleep - my mind drifted off with beautiful images of the day in Roccamorice and the nearby towns...
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Next ~ Back in USA |
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Train ~ Arriving ~ Tholos ~ Hermitage ~ Area Towns ~ Back in USA ~ Roma ~ Roma II
Roma III ~ Venezia ~ Venezia II ~ Venezia III ~ Journey II ~ Tribute ~ About Me ~ Links ~ Email Me
Washington DC ~ Home |
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