What is Attachment Parenting?

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When my daughter Chelsey was born 11 years ago I was  24 years old and getting ready to leave my husband. Within three months of her birth  I was raising her alone. As a woman with no computer or internet access (was there even an internet back then in the dark ages?), I visited the library frequently but mostly I  learned about parenting  by instinct. And instinct is what AP is all about.

As I was a single parent raising a baby, unfortunatley, Chelsey went to day care at an early age. I wanted to stay at home with her, but it wasn't in the cards.  I still did some things that other moms thought I was crazy for doing. I breastfed my baby on demand the first 3 months, when I returned to work she drank expressed breast milk only and I stopped into the day care to nurse whenever I could. I did not introduce solids at 8 weeks when all my friends were putting rice cereal in their babies bottles, but waited until she was much older. I carried my baby constantly in a front carrier (didn't know about slings back then) and was always told I was "spoiling her". I responded immediately to her when she cried day or night. And yes, when I'd nurse at night my daughter and I would fall asleep and I'd not remove her from the bed and take her back to her crib. (gasp!).

I never knew there was a name for what I was doing until my daughter Zoey was born August 31, 2000. Then I got online and I read...and read...and read and was thrilled to have some back-up so I knew what I was doing wasn't insane! The pages I've posted here are simply MY opinions,perspective and the way I feel about Attachment Parenting and what it means to me.

Attachment Parenting is, per Dr.William Sears :
"An uninterupted, nurturing relationship specifically attuned to a childs' needs as he passes from one developmental stage to another". His article is a great place to start understanding what AP is all about.
                                          Dr. Sears Attachment Parenting Article

The basic concepts of Attachment Parenting the way I perceive it, include, but aren't limited to :
 * Breastfeeding on demand (and child-led weaning)
*  Co-Sleeping  (or the Family Bed or Night-time Parenting)
*  Baby Wearing (slings)
*  Gentle Discipline
*  Responding to babys cries promptly.
* Listening to babys cues to lead to the next phase of development.

Not all AP moms can breastfeed (medical necessity is different then simply choosing formula because its convenient), and many formula feeding moms do practice AP. I currently breastfeed.
Not all AP moms use cloth diapers .We started with disposables, but have finally made the transition to cloth and Zoeys not been in a disposable in a month!
Not all AP moms delay solids till well after the 6th month of life. I planned to, but listening to Zoeys cues we discovered she was ready earlier. She began rice cereal at 5 months and at 7 months eats lots of solids, but still loves to nurse.
Not all AP moms homeschool. I'm still considering the option.

I guess I've learned that like anything else in life, you take from a concept what you need and can use...and you do your best for your family.

For me, being an Attached Parent means that I don't believe that holding my child will lead her to be "spoiled". I don't believe a baby should ever cry unconsoled because she needs to "learn to sleep" on her own. I don't believe in spanking but in establishing a relationship of trust with my child. I wear my baby and don't put her in a chair, swing or playpen for extended periods of time. I wear her whenever possible so she knows I am close to her. I sleep with my baby because I don't believe parenting only happens from 8am-8pm, but that I should be available to my child day or night.

I realize that Attachment Parenting is different for all those who practice it. These pages are only my perspective on it, my stories and my choices. I hope you find the information useful to you and your family in your parenting adventures !

Check out the Babycenter Attachment Parenting Bulletin Board too.

Some great AP links:
  Get Attached!      Parenting Web    Joyous Parenting   Larks Attachment Page
 Lonnits Links        Empathetic Parenting

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