|Math Hugonut Style|
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|Just when you thought it was safe to go back to school...||Send in your equations|
|Deir-ty Contributors: Tanathir, oqidaun, Earelen, Tamaril, Wenelda, Stephenie|
|Jones + Smith + Brown|
|Hugonut Math Equations|
|Laurence + Carrie-Anne + Hugo + Keanu = one damn fine movie|
|Seeing Smith in boxers = Good Thing
Seeing Smith sans boxers = Very Good Thing
Sex With Smith = Very Very Good Thing
Sex with Smith with the Matrix making contraception unnecessary = Very Very Good Thing with added Bonus
|Any Hugo = Good Hugo
and All Hugo is Good
|Hugo + bathtub = fur|
|NEH = Not/Never Enough Hugo||Hugo + hot and steamy = [insert Hugonut's name here] faints
Hugo + bright colors = woo hoo + thud
|Hugo + red sweater = drool
Hugo - red sweater = even better
|Robert Taylor + Paul Goddard + Hugo Weaving = MAJOR THUD ALERT|
|Agent + physicality = *THUD*|
|Hugo Helper contains:
98% pure Hugo
*a lutefisk-free product*
|Hugo + shoes = nice
Hugo - shoes = swoon for toes
|naked = you don't have any clothes on
nekkid = you don't have any clothes on and you're up to something
|Smith + water = lickable Agent|
|Smith + Elrond = mmmm mmm good (best of both worlds)||Hugo + shot of chest hair = major THUD|
|Hugo + gratuitousness = best swoon ever|
|NESSS = Not Enough Smith Shower Scenes|
|oqidaun's dissertation on the nature of Platonic swoon
To determine the Platonic degree of a Hugonut's immediate fixation with Hugo:
Let us consider the following simplified mathematical equation:
O = Object in question (photo, article of stolen clothing, etc...) If it is an actual Hugo sighting, please disregard the entire formula and tell him oqi loves and respects him and wants to see his feet--er, sorry about that.
S = The Swoon value. Swoon value is determined by the nature of O and takes into consideration important variables such as if his High Hugoness is fully clothed, the location of his Hugoness, and the presence of the Hugonut #1, i.e., Mrs. Hugo (this is like a wild card variable comparable to Maxwell's Daemon in Thermodynamics, the presence of Mrs. Hugo should immediately lower the swoon factor to a Platonic level). Multiply swoon by pi.
T = Time. Time is the differential between the individual's last viewing of a Hugoesque film and the time of day that the individual observes the object in question. The smaller the viewing number with an earlier time (like the wee hours of the morning) produces a more favorable less Platonic figure.
Time is often coupled with the F1 or F2. F1 being a Hugoesque film with a Hugo nooky scene or Hugo looking damn fine. F2 is used for Babe, The Magic Pudding, and any nature documentary that his Hugoness has narrated. There is also the S constant. S is for Smith and the heightened deir-ty fixation with authority figures that his role in the Matrix produces.
For example let's evaluate the swimming pool scene from Bedrooms and Hallways:
O = Image of Hugo, good quality (i.e. frozen DVD screen, oqi at 2.4 inches away)
S = Very high. Hugo not clothed. Hugo being rather deir-ty. No presence of Mrs. Hugo.
T = Two hours by 2 a.m. factored with a film of high F1 status.
As O has a high S value and a low TF1 value it is 100% non Platonic.
|Agents + stage - superfluous clothing and shoes = Hugonut riot|