Angels from Near and Far
A Resource for Adopting Children

Adoption Choices

It can be hard to decide which type of adoption to pursue.  What works for one family may not work for another.  No matter where it occurs or what kind of child is adopted, we all should respect the choices made by the adoptive and biological families, and celebrate this addition to their home.  

Domestic -- Infant -- Closed Adoption
In this type of adoption the birth records are sealed, the birth and adoptive parents may never meet.  There is keen competition for these babies, which drives up the cost.  It is also not always the best thing for the children, who often have questions about their heritage, and who might do better with at least being able to have photos and letters of love.  If you are discouraged by long wait times and high expense, you should look at either open or international adoption.  You can either use an agency or do an independent adoption, using an attorney.  Adoption insurance is recommended, for your protection.

Domestic -- Infant -- Open Adoption
This is a fairly new concept, and one that is very popular with birthmothers.  Many want to choose the family who will raise their baby, and want some sort of assurance that the child they gave life to is doing well.  The level of openness and amount of contact is agreed upon by the birth mother and adoptive family prior to the birth.  This can be less expensive than the traditional form of closed adoption.  I have read studies that say this type of adoption actually prevents abortion more than traditional, closed adoptions.  Open adoption commonly has shorter waiting times than closed adoption, with families getting a baby in less than a year in most cases.  Parents for African American and Biracial infants are especially needed for open adoption, and the waits are typically very short for these beautiful babies.  You can either use an agency or do an independent adoption, using an attorney.  Adoption insurance is recommended, for your protection.

Domestic Special Needs Adoption
This is through the states' protective services.  Typical special needs are  neglect and/or abuse, born drug or alcohol affected, sibling groups, learning disabled kids, kids with disabilities or medical issues, minority children, and older children.  This can be a very rewarding way to build a family.  You should prepare well for issues these kids will face, such as learning disabilities, behavioral issues, attachment issues, and how to access your community resources for help when needed.   Often, these adoptions are available at little or no cost, and there are funds for ongoing therapies and care, in many cases.  

International Adoption
There are hundreds of thousands of kids waiting in orphanages and foster homes in other countries.  In many of these countries the kids are not assured of enough to eat, loving care, warmth in winter, cleanliness, good health care, or an education.  When they "graduate" from their institutions they are ill equipped for life outside, and may not even be able to find jobs or marry, and many commit suicide. It is easy to adopt very young children internationally, which can be difficult in domestic adoption.  The things to be aware of are sensory integration disorder, attachment issues, parasites, tuberculosis, developmental delays, malnutrition, low birth weight, untreated medical conditions, and birth defects which can go untreated in other countries. The cost can be low, medium, or high, depending on the country and agency chosen.  These are usually done through a licensed adoption agency, although there are still a few countries which allow independent adoptions.

Embryo Adoption
All over the nation, there are thousands of fertilized embryos which are in a frozen state.  Many times the biological families keep them in storage to use for future pregnancy tries.  However, once they complete their families and have no use for these embryos, the choices available are to destroy them,  allow researchers to experiment on them, or they can be donated for implantation into another woman's body to become her child.  If you believe that life begins at conception, can carry a child to term, and want to adopt a pre-born baby, this might be the perfect choice for you.  It's a new field, but one with enormous potential.

Gender
About 85% of adoptive parents want to adopt girl children.  For many parents, China is perfect, because that country has more girls than could ever be placed in homes.  If you adopt a girl from China, you may be that child's only hope of a forever family, so you are making a huge difference for her.  However, in many countries there are more boys available than girls.  If a country says there is a longer waiting time for girls than for boys, this is a clue that people are stacking up their dossiers and competing for the available girls, while boys are unwanted.  This may not matter to you, if you are drawn to a certain country and only want a girl.  But if part of your reason in adopting is to provide a home to someone who might not have found a home without you, then consider adopting a boy and make a big difference for him.   Boys can be wonderful!

"An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but will never break."
Ancient Chinese Belief

"Broken" a wonderful song!

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2001 Jery Good
jdgood@spiritone.com

 

 

 

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