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FUNNY CLASSIFIEDS:

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These Are Actual Classifieds That Appeared In Local And National Newspapers!




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FUNNY CLASSIFIEDS

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For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers

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Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

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Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

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Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.

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Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.

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We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

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For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.

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For Sale - Eight puppies from a German Shepherd and an Alaskan Hussy.

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Great Dames for sale.

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Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

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Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

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Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

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Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.

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Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.

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The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other athletic facilities.

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Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.

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Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

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Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.

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Stock up and save. Limit: one.

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We build bodies that last a lifetime.

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For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.

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Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References required.

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Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

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Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!

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Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.

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Modular Sofas. Only $299. For rest or fore play.

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Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential.

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Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

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3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred.

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Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

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Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.

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Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.

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Illiterate? Write today for free help.

Start Your Week Off With A Bang! Visit Free Cool Jokes!

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Disclaimer
Contents collected from the Internet and personal resources. For your entertainment and amusement only and is not meant to insult anyone.



 

 

 

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