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More Blonde Jokes

Yo That's Fresh!
A traffic policeman pulls over a car on a lonely back road and approaches the blonde lady driver. "Ma’am, why were you weaving all over the road?"

"Oh officer" the blonde woman replies "Thank goodness you're here! I almost had a terrible accident. Swerving to avoid a tree I looked up to see another tree right in front of me, so I pulled the car over to the right and there yet again was another tree in front of me."

The copper nods then points to the thing dangling under the rear view mirror. "Ma'am", he says patiently, "That's your air freshener."

What does a blonde make best for dinner?
Reservations.

What do you call an unmarried blonde in a BMW?
Divorcee'

What does a blonde owl say?
What, what?

How do blonde brain cells die?
Alone.

What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
Pregnant.

Capital Idea
This blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "O.K., what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."

Who What When Where?
What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"

Confused
How do you confuse a blonde?
Put her in a circular room and tell her to sit in the corner.

Poor Birdie
A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly "Awww, look at the dead birdie". The blonde stops, looks up and says "Where?"

The Great Race
A blonde and a brunette are sky-diving. The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord - nothing happens. She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing. The blonde jumps out of the plane and yells "Oh! So you wanna race, huh?"

Mercedes Girl
Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. Blonde#1: "I can't seem to get this door unlocked!" Blonde#2: "Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!"

You Give Blondes A Bad Name
Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat. The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!" To this the other blonde replied "I know it and if I knew how to swim I'd go out there and drown her."

Three Blondes
Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911:
Blonde: "We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb."
Operator: "Well. You put in a new bulb?"
Blonde: "Yes."
Operator: "The power in the house in on?"
Blonde: "Of course."
Operator: "And the switch is on?"
Blonde: "Yes, yes."
Operator: "And the bulb still won't light up?"
Blonde: "No, it's working fine."
Operator: "Then what's the problem?"
Blonde: "We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and we all fell and hurt ourselves. "

Check Please
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked the bartender:
Brunette: "I'll have a B and C."
Bartender:"What is a B and C?"
Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke."
Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T."
Bartender: "What's a G and T?"
Redhead: "Gin and tonic."
Blonde: "I'll have a 15."
Bartender: "What's a 15?"
Blonde: "7 and 7"

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Contents collected from the Internet and personal resources. For your entertainment and amusement only and is not meant to insult anyone.



 

 

 

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