What Is A Marine?
The
USMC is over 219 years of romping, stomping, hell, death and destruction.
The finest fighting machine the world has ever seen. We were born in a
bomb crater, our mother was an M-16 and our father was the devil. Each
moment that I live is an additional threat upon your life.
I
am a rough looking, roving soldier of the sea. I am cocky, self-centered,
overbearing, and I do not know the meaning of fear, for I am fear itself.
I am a green, amphibious monster made of blood and guts who arose from
the sea, festering on anti-Americans throughout the globe. Whenever it
may arise, and when my time comes, I will die a glorious death on the battle
field, giving my life to mom, the Corps, and the American flag.
We
stole the eagle from the Air Force, the anchor from the Navy, and the rope
from the Army. On the 7th day, while God rested, we over-ran his perimeter
and stole the globe, and we've been running the show ever since.
We
live like soldiers and talk like sailors and slap the hell out of both
of them. Soldier by day, lover by night, drunkard by choice,
MARINE
BY GOD!!!
The
story of CREATION
(Marine Version)
In the beginning
was the word, and the word was God. In the beginning was God,
and all else was darkness and void, and without form. So God created the
heavens
and the Earth. He created the sun, and the moon, and the stars, so that
light might
pierce the darkness. The Earth, God divided between the land and the sea,
and
these he filled with many assorted creatures.
And the dark, salty, slimy creatures that inhabited the murky depths of
the oceans,
God called sailors. And he dressed them accordingly. They had little trousers
that
looked like bells at the bottom. And their shirts had cute little flaps
on them to hide
the hickys on their necks. He also gave them long sideburns and shabby
looking
beards. God nicknamed them "squids" and banished them to a lifetime at
sea, so
that normal folks would not have to associate with them. To further identify
these
unloved creatures, he called them "petty" and "commodore", instead of titles
worthy of red-blooded men.
And the flaky creatures of the land, God called soldiers. And with a twinkle
in his
eye, and a sense of humor that only he could have, God made their trousers
too
short and their covers too large. He also made their pockets oversized,
so that
they may warm their hands. And to adorn their uniforms, God gave them badges
in
quantities that only a dime store owner could appreciate. And he gave them
emblems and crests....and all sorts of shiny things that glittered....and
devices that
dangled. (When you are God you tend to get carried away).
On the 6th day, he created the creatures of the air for which he designed
a Greyhound bus driver's uniform, especially for Air Force flyboys. But
he
discarded the idea during the first week, and it was not until years later
that some
apostles resurrected this theme and established what we now know as the
"wild
blue yonder wonders".
And on the 7th day, as you know, God rested. But on the 8th day, at 0730,
God
looked down upon the earth and was not happy. God was not happy! So he
thought
about his labors, and in his divine wisdom God created a divine creature.
And this
he called Marine.
And these Marines, who God had created in his own image, were to be of
the air,
and of the land, and of the sea. And these he gave many wonderful uniforms.
Some
were green, some were blue with red trim. And in the early days, some were
even a
beautiful tan. He gave them practical fighting uniforms, so that they could
wage war
against the forces of Satan and evil. He gave them service uniforms for
their daily
work and training. And he gave them evening and dress uniforms....... sharp
and
stylish, handsome things, so that they might promenade with their ladies
on
Saturday night and impress the shit out of everybody! He even gave them
swords,
so that people who were not impressed, could be dealt with accordingly.
And at the end of the 8th day, God looked down upon the Earth and saw that
it was
good. But was God happy? NO! God was still not happy! Because in the course
of
his labors, he had forgotten one thing. He did not have a Marine uniform
for
himself. But he thought about it, and thought about it, and finally satisfied
himself in
knowing that, well.........
NOT EVERYBODY CAN BE
A MARINE!
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