humor

Fun Things To Do In The Recovery Room
- When they wake up, speak a foreign langauge.
- Speak to them without using your voice.
- Seriously ask them the same question over and over.
- When they speak, put your hands over your ears, whince, and ask them to stop shouting.
- Pretend, when they speak, that you can't hear them.
- White robes and harps. Need I say more?!

Fun Things To Do With The Ill.
- When explaining to them about the foley cath you are about to insert, tell them it's ok to scream if it hurts.
- When they tell you they are in pain start to laugh.
- Fill a new urinal with lemonade, walk into their room, take a swig, and ask them if they want a sip.
- After giving their meds, look at their i.d. bracelet and say "oops".
- When do a male bed bath start to laugh when you get "down there".

Charting Chuckles!
Cardiac
- Patient has chest pains if she lies on her left side for over a year.
- By the time she was admitted to the hospital, her rapid heart had stopped and she was feeling much better.
Musculoskeletal
- On the second day, the knee was better, and on the third day, it had completely disappeared.
- While in the emergency department, she was examined, X-rated, and sent home.
Neurologic
- Patient was alert and unresponsive.
- Healthy appearing, decrepit 69-year old female, mentally alert, but forgetful.
- She is numb from her toes down.
- When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
Gastrointestinal
- Rectal examination revealed a normal-sized thyroid.
- She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989, when she got a divorce.
Gynecologic/Urologic
- Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus-sized.
- Indwelling urinary catheter draining clear yellow roses.
- Pelvic exam to be done later on the floor.
Miscellanous
- The skin was moist and dry.
- Both breast are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
- Skin: somewhat pale, but present.
- The test indicated abnormal lover function.
- Discharge status: Alive, but without permission.