 At the age of 4, she thought that she was living a normal little girls life . You know, going to church, a lot of family get together, and so forth, until her Mother and Father divorced. Following her parents divorce, she and her twin brother were left with her father who was working as a sheriff in a little town. During the time her father was working, she was being watched by cousins, step brothers, foster brothers, or whomever. The number of people who were watching over her, are too many to remember. One baby sitter who was watching her also had a twin brother, and while his brother slept, the babysitter took her into the bathroom and sat her down on the bathroom counter. He proceeded to pull up my night gown and slide down her underwear, attempting to enter inside of her. As she was growing up, she was molested by the very one's who had been trusted to take care of her. Outside of the abuse she was expected to endure, she was also having to take care of the house work and tend to the animals which were on the farm where she lived. After the mom left, was when the sexual abuse began, but not by the father as he was never home, but rather spending all his time with his new wife. As time went on she began thinking that sex was a normal way of life as she did not know any other way. This little girl also thought that sex was a way to get attention. When her father died, she went to her aunt and uncles to live, and attended her 8th grade class and then on to high school. She became involved with drinking and boys, and then, grown up men. This little girl had ended up in gang rapes from being with a lot of boys and alcohol. She was raped by her stepfather's room mate, and then her stepfather. She became just a play toy for men. As a result of her life style, she became pregnant with her first child at the age of eighteen, and gave birth to a baby boy. A few months later she met a man and married and was happy for a number of years. The last fifteen years have all been going down hill, and she learned what domestic violence was at the hands of her own adult children. They would beat on her time and time again. As time went by, she and her husband (almost five years ago)started having the hardest time in their lives, by trying to save their daughter's life from drugs. Grandchildren's futures were also at stake. She had gotten hurt one time too many. She went to the domestic violence programs and learned that you as a parent can not live with parental abuse. During this time she had met a man that treated her like gold and with respect. She fell into his trap and was being abused verbally by him. Told her things like, "you are fat,ugly and dumb." This man she fell in love with was so wonderful. She thought, he was a good escape for her.They drank a lot. Seven months of this affair, she was raped by him. She went back for more because she believed what he said.He even thought that he was grandpa of her grandchildren. On May 13, 2000, she was raped by this man and a women. They used toys that hurt her . She cried for help, but no one could hear her. So she gave up until it was over. She then had to go home and face her husband, kids and police. Her current husband stayed with her and went to counseling with her. They just celebrated their 35th anniversary. She never got to live the life of a "normal girl". ©Written by Connie Fenimore |