A LOOK AT MY FAMILY...
My Mom
I know she didn't say that to upset me. She's the nicest person you'll ever meet, she's so sweet! Looking back, I think the reason WHY she made that comment was simply because, herself, coming from an ULTRA weight-counscious family, she didn't want me to have to go through all the worries that SHE went through. But at the time, I didn't realize this...
FAMILY BACKGROUND AND ISSUES:
When it comes to eating disorders, a lot say it runs in families... I guess my family matches that fact.
The most instructive thing my mom ever said to me, when discussing my "issues" was:" Honey, you just CAME that way." I 'came' that way? I found it pretty interesting to take a look at the 'WHY's... And I found some pretty interesting things.
Childhood was rather chaotic. Being the first girl on an 8 children family, she was considered as the "woman" of the house,beside my grandmother,of course. She baked,cooked meals,cleaned,went to choir,helped her younger sister with their grade 1 homeworks, ETC. My grandma was always there but when you have 8 children to look after with a husband away at War -my grandpa went to World War II-,well, you kinda need some extra help!
I think, though I never really asked her, it put a lot of unwanted weight on her shoulders...
Constantly talking about weight:
When she was growing up, she pointed out that her MOM -therefore my grandma, who by the way, have always been quite heavy, not to say overweight.- would often ask my mom things and questions about her (grandma) weight.
"Hey, do I look fatter than this woman?I'm thinner than her, right",my grandma would ask.
"Oh, I didn't eat much today,I think I'll have toasts before I go to bed."she'd say.
The worst thing is:she still does! Everytime, my mom and I go and visit, the now famous "toast event" comes in the picture. My grandmother has always justified 'why' she would eat, as if she HAD to have a good reason to eat.To me, it seems like she does this to maybe, APOLOGIZE, to not being able to meet society's beauty standards. This makes me realize even MORE how much thinness is perceived and how people feel about that...
After childhood, my mom entered puberty -which didn't cause her any trouble, or 'weight' issues.I remember her telling me how, during her teenage years, the main focus was appearance, looks...She would, with her 4 sisters' help, often go out at night and all that invovled: putting on the tightest of jeans and zipping them with a HANGER because it would make you look thinner, instead of wearing those baggy ugly jeans.
People come in all shapes and sizes:
From all 4 girls, 1 of them turned out to be kind of chubby.That's my aunt.She's my godmother,actually...To this day, her weight's been her concern..Though,she no longer acts on this worry and she's so funny and we love her to bits!...Here's something, however, about my aunt I feel is interesting to point out.As a kid, she was always be the "funny" girl, a real clown, making people laugh. I personally think it was because she was embarassed with her weight and -who knows, maybe ashamed of it!- thought that it'd be a good way to be liked by people because she was so funny, so they wouldn't quite emphazise on her weight.
Another thing my mom told me which was quite worrying to me: in her mid-twenties, my mom would go, with her sister, downtown, to get injections. Those injections of something kind of drug, I assume, would make them lose weight. Not only would you lose weight, but you'd also: blackout, have heart palpitation. "Oh sure, we'd lose weight very quickly, but did we know we'd, at the same thing, black out, to have our hands shaking?" "No...But that was the "package deal" that came with it."
A family, with "healthy" eating habits and thoughts about body-image and appearance...
If one would ask me this, here's what I would respond "HAHA!Yeah,right!!!!!!!!As if!That's so not close to happen!"
To this day, out of 8 children,EACH 4 women have a scale at home, weigh themselves on a regular basis...
I remember this family reunion when we all went to this buffet...Everyone was talking at the same time, and then all of a sudden everyone looked at my aunt who had made the following comment..She said:"Well, I have to say that, right now, I'm going to stop taking those diuretics ...!!!