WHAT DO WE DO, WHAT DO WE SAY?
When someone you love is suffering from an eating disorder you may not know what to say to them. You might find it difficult to understand what they are going through. Let them know that you are there for them, and that you care. Discuss your concerns, without judging or criticizing, at a time -and location free of distractions. Be patient. They may refuse to admit that there is a problem at first because they are ashamed or embarrassed. Show that you care by being supportive and patient and by listening and trying to understand her situation:

-Learn all you can about eating disorders, their impact and idiosyncrasies;
-Understand that eating disorders are not just about food;
-Become more aware of the comments you and others may make regarding appearance and weight loss which may be interpreted as criticism;
-Recognize and put aside your own misconceptions about eating disorders;
-Avoid making flattering comments about thin people and disapproving remarks about obese people;
-Understand that they are turning to an eating disorder for emotional comfort, though they may not recognize it;
-Know that you are not responsible for the eating disorder;
-Be careful not to label foods 'good' or 'bad' and don't try to make her eat or insist that she gain weight.

Eating disorders require attention from professionals, don't try to cure the eating disorder on your own. The most important thing you can do is to educate yourself about eating disorders so that you will have a better understanding of her situation and be there to support and comfort her.

Family members and significant others are affected by an eating disorder.By the time the person has entered a treatment program, it is likely that their relationships have been damaged and communication is impaired or even non-existent.

FOR THE FAMILY:
Focus on feelings and interpersonal relationships - not on food and weight. Family members are often the forgotten members, especially other children. It is important that they talk about their feelings.

Do NOT:
-let the eating disordered family member disrupt the entire household. The family should go on with their lives as normally as possible.
-allow the eating disorder family member to shop, cook or feed the family. Do not let the eating disordered family member dominate the rest of the families eating patterns. In nurturing others, eating disorder sufferers are denying their own need for food. Families should go on with normal eating patterns.