Good Bye ED!!
DEAR EATING DISORDER...  

Well,it's been a while since I wrote so I thought I'd write you a little something...I am writing you this letter because I feel it's about time you listen to me since I've been the one listening to YOU for so long..far too long...

So, it's MY TURN, to have MY SAY.

OKAY???


You don’t listen to reason,I know,but I want you to read this,word for word.I want you to know how you have affected my life.

As you know, it was six years ago that we first met.I can't exactly pinpoint the day we met but I remember...I remember this period,when you came into my life.At first,I thought it would be alright, nothing would happen, but I was dead wrong...You were singing to me.You said you would keep me from being alone.Your voice was seducing me...

In truth,I didn't really know what to do.So,I listened to you.I really thought I was doing the right thing.But...soon, too soon, it wasn't enough.

You kept saying how wonderful life would be with you,how good I'd feel,how easier everything would be once I'd lose X lbs...

I only hang onto you for my own comfort and security.You were my "protective ed blanket", my safety net to fall back on at anytime!Now,even though,you continue to ruin me and even nearly kill me but you also help me to cope with difficult times in my past.When there was no comfort or hope you were there,to help me survive.

Now is the time for me to let you go...
and for me to start to grow and be my own person




I WANT YOU TO GO AWAY FOREVER AND TO NOT COME BACK NOT EVEN A BIT,BECAUSE:

1-You LIED to me!...When,in fact,you were supposed to make me whole again,take the broken pieces and put them back together!!You made me feel horrible,like anyone could ever do!!

2-Apparently with you,I would have a GREAT life.But,tell me,what's great in losing everything?NOTHING,let me tell you! Because of YOU,I lost: my family and friends,(themselves,their support,their trust) but worst of all...

I LOST MYSELF.
As well as my hope, my health, my dreams, my mind and my PASSION for life!




I want you to read this and to consider all the HARM and HELL you caused me:



I admit it,there are MANY obstacles in my life,that I have overcome but losing you (my eating disorder) is the hardest one. But I must say, it's not without pain that I am letting go,because:

  • You were there when no one else was.
  • You were there to comfort me.
  • You were there to say everything was ok, even though deep down I knew it was not.
  • You were there when I was being hurt and only you helped me through it.


So:

NOW
TO SAY GOODBYE TO YOU...


FOREVER




Life without you will be hard.You will never be forgotten,but the way you made me sick I will forget. I will remember the inner strength that you have given.... but I will also in-time forget the strength you gave (my behaviours).

It is time for me to stand on my own and to use the tools that I have to cope and live a normal and happy life.




I'm not scared of you anymore,because I don't believe anything you say.

It's such crap!!The biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard.

I so wish to scream out to the world,not to listen to you.
To never experience you...
To never have to creep into the darkest pain before finding the path.

 You will come up again and try to make me do it your way.But,you won't be able to hurt me again,because guess what?

I AM STRONGER THAN YOU ARE!
AND YOU CAN NEVER TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME!


I am ready to fight you off now and live how I should be living.











Hopefully, one day I'll be FREE:



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