Thoughts On What Might Make Us Tick
I
think that to be a whole person, both male and female have many facets
that are not easily explainable and psychologically and biologically
male and female characteristics are evident in both sexes. My life has
been plagued since puberty with a constant battle inside. Life gives
you every day examples of how you has a male should react. In years
past and also in today’s society we are constantly placed into
particular pigeon holes and told that this is how you feel, this is
how you react and you will be frowned upon if you stray from the normal
behaviour patterns.
What
does society call appropriate behaviour for a male and female? Blue
for boys, pink for girls, trains and cars for boys, dolls for girls.
Boys wear shirt and trousers, girls wear skirts and dresses. Boys are
said to be boisterous and occasionally allowed to show aggression through
fighting, whilst girls are sweet and caring. Both sexes are indoctrinated
from a very early age as to what is appropriate for their gender.
For years it was accepted that man was the breadwinner in the family,
he went out to work, he held the position of head of the family, what
he said usually happened. The role of the female was to make a home,
to bear children, to cook and be the caring supportive adult in the
family.
Until
recent years this was the accepted norm. In more recent times the roles
are changing the power struggle between man and woman has changed position
and what is expected from us, is in a transient state.
Because of this I feel males are floundering around looking for solid
ground on which to stand, asking themselves where do I fit in, what
is expected of me, I shouldn’t show aggression, I should be more
caring. Society has become more accepting of men showing these more
feminine characteristics. How much of the feminine side can a man show
before society says it is inappropriate behaviour.
So
what am I getting at ????. As you develop from childhood to adulthood
one goes through many different stages. At each stage we learn a lesson,
one that helps us through life or not as the case may be. Some of the
changes we go through may give us a little baggage for us to carry around
with us until we find some way of relieving ourselves of the weight
or burden. As some of you may know we carry some of life’s burdens
for many years or as in the case of transgendered people, it may be
for life. The lessons or the new skills we learn have a tremendous impact
within our family environment. How individual members of the family
react in different situations has a bearing on our own reaction and
we develop a learned response whilst going through emotional trauma.
If
we miss out on any of life’s fundamental lessons or stages of
development we can create a screen to block out embarrassment from thoughts
or actions, feelings or emotions we haven’t yet learned how to
deal with. The screen is there to protect us, but does it do that? We
consume an enormous amount of energy just keeping the screen in place,
not daring to let it drop for fear of ridicule or worse still losing
control. We get tired of keeping up the act and can be taken off guard
if the screen comes down unexpectedly. Or we let it down when we lose
our inhibitions, perhaps after the intake of alcohol. Sometimes the
things behind the screens desolve behind a mist of confusion because
your so adapt at hiding them from the rest of the world, but they can
erupt over something quite trivial. When they do it can cause you to
be ashamed and embarrassed.