Evil Ray and The Mad Mountie -
If such an occasion had been shared amongst any other group of friends it would have been far more solemn, but Stan knew his little clique wouldn’t take things too seriously. This was just another poker game with slightly expensive beer and snacks, and Carrie, the host for the evening, had promised that there would be food somewhere interwoven into the evening. The lack of emotion was not to be taken as an insult. It was simply down to the ease at which the group interacted. They were all good friends, they were still going to live in the same city, so why would they not see him again?
"It just means we have to call him Ray all the time now." Carrie sat cross-legged at the coffee table, declining seating so that all her guest would have a chair. "I’m going to miss bugging you .....Stanley."
Stanley grinned, and was met by a barrage of lines from A Streetcar named Desire. He hated that name.
"So how many of you kids actually know how to play poker?" Harry asked, scratching his beard. He was the oldest of the group, a good ten years senior to Stan. He was foremost their friend, but willing to pull rank if necessary. Jokes could be made good-naturedly about his age and rounded appearance, but only if not taken too far, and never on the job. Harry had been an undercover cop for almost all of his working life, and knew that for their work to come good, he had to be one hundred percent committed.
"I don’t know..." Chloe, seated across from Harry, sounded confused. She drew her armchair closer to the coffee table, and twiddled with one of her braids. "Never played this before. Are three kings good or bad?"
All five of the party folded simultaneously.
Chloe grinned. "’Cause I don’t have those.....pay up people."
"What?" Andy, sat on the right of Chloe, shuffled forward along the low-lying futon-style sofa, and peered at her card’s. "You liar!" He cried in his distinctive Italian-American New Yorker accent. He coughed. "Of course, I didn’t fold."
"You soooo folded." Carrie said, trying to pull straight a curl of her red hair.
"All who saw him fold." Stan raised his hand. Everyone but Andy joined him.
"This is discrimination!" Andy slapped his hands on the table. "But hey, corruption. What the hell else can I expect from a bunch of Chicago residents? You’re all gangsters anyway."
"It’s not discrimination, you just suck at poker." Stan said.
"Oh, this coming from king of deadpan poker face." Carrie smiled.
"Yeah, you’re going to need to be better at this undercover job than you are at this." Andy smiled. "Why pick you anyway? Chloe’s got more Italian-American in her. I’m the obvious candidate."
"When you’ve actually been in this unit longer than five minutes, then maybe." Harry said.
"Genius shouldn’t take that long to spot." Andy complained.
"Neither should stupidity." Chloe said. "So what are you still doing here?"
Carrie went in to the kitchen, alerted by the sound of her oven pinging. Stan lay back on the sofa. "Gonna miss you guys." He said.
"Hey, lets not get emotional." Harry said. "I mean, we’re still gonna see you."
"Maybe we’ll be spying on you." Andy offered.
"So, how much do you know about the guy you’re replacing?" Chloe asked.
"Besides the fact he’s not supposed to tell us?" Harry warned. "He’s already told us way too much, people."
"I’ve seen him hanging around with a Mountie." Carrie said, returning with a plate of piping hot mini pastries. "He’s at my sisters precinct."
"Do you always discuss undercover operation with your sister?" Harry said.
Stan sat up. "Go easy on her Harry."
"And for your information, I didn’t tell my sister. I just happened to be visiting her, so I thought I’d do a little reconnaissance." Carrie said coldly.
"Whoah there, people." Chloe waved her arms in the air. "May we have peace...this is not the way we want Stanley Kowalski to remember this."
"I told you all to stop calling me that." Stan said, moving cards and beer bottles, so Carrie could put the tray down on the table.
"All right, just don’t go telling all and sundry about this, Carrie." Harry said.
"I know, sorry." They smiled at each other good-naturedly.
" ‘All and sundry’ -what's that about?" Andy asked. "Or is that just the language of the ancients."
"It’s best not to question the wise one." Chloe said. She put on the voice of her father, a gospel preacher. "Just don’t doubt his wisdom-I tell ya."
"Alleluia." Andy shouted.
"Gotta go somewhere." Harry said. "Where’s your bathroom?"
Carrie led him down the corridor in the muted lamp light. When she returned, Andy leaned forward. "So, what is the deal with the Mountie?"
"You know I’m not supposed to tell you." Stan sipped his beer.
"Oh, spill it." Chloe said impatiently. "What? I can’t be irresponsible like you?" She responded to the ensuing surprise.
"He’s cute." Carrie said. "Really hunky."
"Gotta love a man in uniform." Chloe agreed.
"Too much information about your preferences." Andy said. "I meant why is he partnering the cop?"
"Not enough crime in Canada, so he has to come and share ours." Chloe said.
"Will they tell him about the real Ray?" Asked Carrie
"I’m not having this discussion." Stan said, clamping his hands over his ears.
"I guess he’ll have to know. He’s going to know there’s something wrong." Andy said "It’s gonna really mess with his head if he finds good Ray’s gone and Evil Ray’s in his place."
Stan hummed the National Anthem, hands still clamped over his ears.
"He could have one heck of a mad Mountie on his hands." Andy said.
"Evil Ray and the Mad Mountie." Carrie giggled. "They’re taking on the fight against crime in the mean streets of Chicago."
Stan had taken his fingers out of his ears. "Did I just hear you right?’ he asked.
"Hear what right?" Harry returned, and sat back down.
"Super heroes." Chloe said, as plausible as her poker playing. "Why don’t we have one in Chicago, oh Wise One?"
"New York -Spiderman." Stan said. "Even Gotham City and Metropolis have super heroes, and they’re fictional."
"Will someone eat my starters before they go cold?" Carrie picked a pastry, and bit into it "They’re good."
"If you don’t mind saying so yourself." Harry said. He took one. "But you’re right, they taste good. We have Captain America."
"Uh-huh, but we have to share him with everyone else." Stan replied
"Andy," said Chloe between chews "...c’mon, I thought food was the only thing you truly loved."
"Yeah, if its ‘man’s food’." Andy said "This.....I mean, starters, it’s just not right."
"Go on, it’ll put hairs on your chest." Carrie said.
"Oooooooo...." Everyone cooed.
"How would you know?" Chloe said.
"Something you guys want to tell us?" Stan asked.
"Well, I can’t compete with her man in uniform." Andy sighed. "So it’s painful but we..." He stuttered , pretending to cry, "We can be no more!"
Carrie produced a handkerchief. "It’s-just-too-much." She sighed.
"OK, so are we playing poker?" Harry asked.
"I’m too emotionally disturbed now." Andy said. "Too many revelations about my personal life and Chloe’s secret lusts."
"Look, I’m nearly done cooking, so you guys want to go to the proper big persons table and eat like civilized people?" Carrie asked.
"Who said anything about civilized?" Harry said, making his way to the kitchen.
"Of, course, I forgot about the primeval nature of a ‘man’s meal’." Chloe said, looking at Andy.
"Primeval man says ‘We go eat now’." Andy took Chloe’s hand and pulled her to her feet.
"I’ll get the beers." Stan called after them, as they retreated to the kitchen. He collected the glasses, and the beer bottles, and then looked up briefly, to see them assembling around the dining table. "And I will miss you." He said, once they were out of earshot.
These characters are not mine, I only dream about them occasionally and mean no harm!