Author: Hockey_Slasher19
Dedication: To... um... Stevie Y and Brendan. Because I love them
Disclaimer: AS IF I owned them! Gah!!!!!!!!!!! But imagine all the great pictures of them I could get if I did...
Rating: B. For Bizarre.
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Dave Lewis: Okay, so my plan for this game is to pull the goalie.
Steve: umm, Dave. ThatÕs your plan for every game and weÕre on a game losing streak.
Bren: Yeah, where are you getting your ideas anyway?
Dave: Well, some nice person in LA has been sending me game plans since this summer.
Nick: *raises eyebrow* Have they been sent anonomously?
Dave: Ha. As if.
Brett: Do you know what Annonmous means Dave?
Dave: *hangs head in shame* no.
*Jiri comes running in*
Jiri: Whee! Look what I found in the Joe Louis mailbox! *holds up a puppy*
Steve: Oh Lord.
Tomas: Ôe did Ôot find et en da mailingbox. He stole it from somoneÕs Ôard. I saw Ôim!
Jiri: *looks around nervously and then bolts, puppy in hand*
*Darren and Kirk enter*
Darren: Hey, whats going on?
Kirk: Yeah, whats up?
Steve: Lewie seems to have been taking game plans from an unknown source in LA.
Darren: *grabs the note from Steve and looks at it* Hmmmm, This handwriting looks familliar, and the english isn't well goodly written.
*all look at him*
Dare: What?!
All: Nothing.
Nick: If only Igor was here. He would know what to do.
Lewis: hey now! I'm, the coach. I know what I am doing! *pounds chest*
Brendan: *places and clam hand on his shoulder* There there Dave. We know youÕre competent. *turns to Steve and shakes head*
Dom: *loud sigh* I miss Scotty!
Lewis: *ahem*
Steve: Well anyway, we need to figure out whoÕs sending Lewie these notes.
Brendan: Maybe it was Hully.
*HullyÕs head pokes out of his locker stall, making them all jump*
Hull: Not this time! I'm busy planning World Domination!
Pavel: <HeÕs one crazy genius. You should hear these plans.>
Henrik: I wish I knew what you were saying.
Pavel: *smiling sweetly* <Shut up, you are MY bitch.>
Henrik: Awww.
Nick: Anyway. I think as long as we have a few days without any games, we could do some investigating on this subject.
Cheli: Do I get money out of this deal if I knock the guy off?
Steve: *strange look* Um, Cheli, we arenÕt the Mafia.
Cheli: *shifty eyes* I knew that.
Brendan: Well, lets go to LA then.
Pt. 2
Lewis: So then I took over the world, with just my little minions at my side. And together we took every goalie from every net and left it open....blah blah blah.
*Brendan and Steve are falling asleep resting their heads on eachother, Nick is snoozing lightly.*
Brett: *whispering to Cheli* You knock Lewie out and then we can lay the blame on some Rookies.
Cheli: I donÕt know, I should talk to the Godfather before hittinÕ anyone.
Brett: What?
Cheli: *looking around nervously* Nothing.
*Tomas comes running in*
Tomas: JiriÕs let his puppy Ôoose in da locker room! ItÕs scaring Henrik!
*All jump up and run to the locker room*
Henrik: *standing on the bench in his stall* ItÕs scary!
*dog yaps up at him*
Henrik: Pavel save me!
Pavel: *Gives him a weird look* <What do you expect me to do? Wave a magic wand and make it go away?>
Henrik: Aw! HeÕs giving me words of comfort.
Pavel: *sigh* Mudak <Idiot>
Brendan and Brett: *laughing at the whole situation*
Nick: Oh for goodness sakes. *Grabs puppy*
Jiri: Hey! I was teaching him to attack Zatta!
Steve: WHY would you do that?
Jiri: I was bored.
Lewis: Enough of this madness! We should be practicing hockey!
Steve: Hey wait a minute, werenÕt we gonna go to LA and look for the guy who sent you the letters?
Lewis: Oh yeah.
Nick and Steve: Give us the letterÕs and envelopes.
*Dave hands them over*
Steve: Um, Dave, these letters are from Anaheim, Not LA.
Dave: TheyÕre practically the same place! Give me a break!
Steve: Well, lets go to Anaheim then.
~Later that night~
Steve: *Whispering* This is a bad idea.
Nick: We could have just taken the Red Bird...
Dave: Oh come on, this is easier.
Brett: I for one, think that LewieÕs idea to steal the IllichÕs jet is a GREAT idea.
Pavel: <Oh well, that seals it. WeÕre gonna be killed.>
Henrik: Aw, Pavel aggress.
Jiri: Can we hurry up. LilÕ Sean is freaking out.
Cheli: You named it LilÕ Sean?! You told me you were gonna name him Chris!
*Suddenly the flood lights come on.*
Lewis: Shit! WeÕve been caught!
Tomas: Everybody be runnin!
pt.3
Darren: Aw come on Mike! It wasnÕt my idea.
Kris: Yeah. The grind line always gets blamed for everything!
Mike: Because you guys are the ones who do everything thatÕs bad.
Kirk: Not everything!
Joey: *Whispering to them* Sorry to do this guys--*to Illich* It was all their idea. We told them we could take the red Bird II but they refused to listen! TheyÕre mad!
Darren: Is that how you want it?
Kirk: Yeah Joey, youÕll have to sleep sometime.
Mike: Well, youÕll have to suffer some punishmentÑ
Darren: *inspired* Please donÕt send us to Anahiem! Anywhere but there!
Draper: *catches on and mumbles to himself* Darren you sexy genious! I want to have your babies. *to Mike* Yeah! Not there!
Kirk: Anywhere but there!
Steve: *understanding* Yes Mike. I believe that would be a proper punishment. Send them to Anahiem. And the rest of us should go with them. We were irrisponsible for letting them try their plan.
Brendan: What?! I donÕt want to be punished! ThatÕs not--*suddenly a hockey stick hits the back of his head and he falls over unconsious*
Cheli: *to Steve* You owe the Don twenty dollars.
Steve: Oh god. I need some asprine.
Mike: You know what? I donÕt care anymore. Just leave me to my evil plotting.
Lewis: Yes Sir.
Mike: If you try to steal my jet again, IÕll make you play for the Tigers.
All: NO!!!!!!!!!! *run in fear*
*outside*
Steve: Well, we should probably get to Anahiem before our game....
Darren: Aw we donÕt need to be at that game.
Nick: *puts head in hands* I could use something strong to drink.
Pavel: <One day....>
Henrik: WhatÕs that Peppy?
Pavel: <Call me Peppy again and I WILL kill you.>
Henrik: Aww. Look at how lovingly heÕs looking at me!
Dom: Vare ve Ôoing Ôoo Anahiem vor vhat?
Brett: Where the hell did you come from?
Dom: I vas sleeping in dat cardboard box over dere.
Brett: Damn! That box is three times as large as mine!
Dom: *smugly* because I am star goalie.
Manny: *curls up and cries*
Steve: *sighing* can we get going already?
Jiri: *pointing* I think BrendanÕs dead.
Tomas: *Eagerly* IÕll give him mouth to mouth ressisation!
Steve: *snapping* NO! IÑI mean... no... HeÕll be fine.
Nick: Oh god, YouÕre losing it too Stevie.
Brett: HEY!
Nick: Um... Brett, I wasnÕt talking about you.
Brett: ThatÕs why I said ÒHey!Ó
Steve: Lets just go already!
Pt.4
*on the air plane*
Kirk: I raise you ten.
Darren: Um, Malts, we arenÕt playing poker.
Kirk: Oh God, we arenÕt playing Russian Roulette are we?!
Kris: Um. No.
Kirk: Oh good *wipes forehead*
Steve: *looking over the letters* Hmmm. These seem... Brendan get off me!
BrendanÓ *removed hand from SteveÕs thigh* Awwww.
Steve: I'm trying to figure out whoÕs trying to sabotage our team, theres time for that later.
Brendan: Fine. Fine.
Hully: I think itÕs A-pup who sent us the letters!
Steve: Um, Sean doesnÕt live in LA.
Brett: Then who the hell have I been writing to since Feburary?! And whose house was that I stayed at? *wanders away pondering*
Nick: Captain. I believe IÕve found a clue!
Jiri: Jinkies! What is it scoob?
*Nick glares at him and Jiri backs away before retreating to a corner to pet his stolen puppy*
Steve: What is it Nick?
Nick: At the bottom of this letter they signed their name, and only partially erased it, see? *points at the bottom of the letter where someone wrote ÒSerg erovÓ *
Steve: We have our man.
Dandy: *looking at a picture of Sergei and drooling* YouÕre telling me.
*everyone give him weird looks*
Dandy: Er... I mean, I'm not gay! I have a wife! *runs off*
Tomas: Ôell dat vas special.
Steve: *with a raised eyebrow* yes. Very.
Nick: Anyway, I guess we need to go to SergeiÕs house, but maybe we should tie Dandy up first.
*At SergeiÕs house.*
Nick: *knocks on the door*
Steve: He should be here. I see his smashed up car in the drive way.
Bren: I donÕt understand how he crashed into that tree.
Jiri: Stevie! The grind line is trying to steal SergeiÕs hood ordament.
Steve: I donÕt see it happening *looks around and whistles*
The door opens, revealing Sergei.
Sergei: Eep! *tries to close door, Brendan stops him*
Cheli: *elbowing Steve* this is your chance, the Don is doing a discount on RussianÕs, half off.
Pt.5
*Inside SergeiÕs house*
Steve: *Waving letters* Sergei Viktorvitch Fedorov! What is this about?!
Brendan: Yeah Fedz! Why would you do this to our poor defenseless coach? *gestures to Lewis whose standing in the parlor staring at a painting on the wall blankly*
Sergei: *Defiantly* I do not need to tell you such things!
Cheli: *cracks knuckles* CÕmonÉ..
Sergei: WellÉ.hey, whereÕs Brett?
*From the kitchen*
Brett: *voice muffled* IÕm NOT in the Kitchen eating everything in your fridge!
Sergei: *sigh*
Henrik: Pavel! Lets go raid the kitchen too! We should be just like Hully!
Pavel: <You are the biggest moron I have ever met. One day when I rule the world, you will lick my skates>
Henrik: Awww. I love you too! Come on *grabs PavelÕs wrist and drags him into the kitchen*
Sergei: Get outta my house!
Shanny: We wanna know why youÕre doing this!
Sergei: IÕm not telling you!
Manny: *to the Grind Line* I hate to do thisÉ*goes up to Sergei and puts on a puppy face, and speaks in a baby-voice* Come on Sergei, please tell us why youÕre doing such mean things, we never were mean to you.
Sergei: Aw damn itÉ not the ÒCutest goalie on the earthÓ face! *breaks down and begins to cry* I just miss you so much! I wish I had never leftÉ.
Steve: Aww, there there. *pats him on the shoulder*
Hull: *returns from kitchen with an arm full of food.* Hey whatÕs going on?
Shanny: Nothing, go back to your food.
Brett: Friggin gladly! *heads back into the kitchen where we hear Pavel saying something menacingly in Russian*
Steve: Well Sergei, you could always wave your no trade clause or something and come back next yearÑ
Tomas: *interupts* Stevie! We have game tonight yÕknow!
Steve: Damn, we doÉ Sergei. WeÕre sorry, but we gotta go. Please no more telling Dave how to play. *shouting* Hull! Dats, Henry! Come on! We gotta go! We got a game!
Tomas: Captain! Jiri is hiding that puppy under his coat!
Jiri: *looks around nervously*
Steve: Oh whatever, lets go!
Pt. 6
*on the air plane*
Kirk: I raise you ten.
Darren: Um, Malts, we arenÕt playing poker.
Kirk: Oh God, we arenÕt playing Russian Roulette are we?!
Kris: Um. No.
Kirk: Oh good *wipes forehead*
Steve: *looking over the letters* Hmmm. These seem... Brendan get off me!
BrendanÓ *removed hand from SteveÕs thigh* Awwww.
Steve: I'm trying to figure out whoÕs trying to sabotage our team, theres time for that later.
Brendan: Fine. Fine.
Hully: I think itÕs A-pup who sent us the letters!
Steve: Um, Sean doesnÕt live in LA.
Brett: Then who the hell have I been writing to since February?! And whose house was that I stayed at? *wanders away pondering*
Nick: Captain. I believe IÕve found a clue!
Jiri: Jinkies! What is it scoob?
*Nick glares at him and Jiri backs away before retreating to a corner to pet his stolen puppy*
Steve: What is it Nick?
Nick: At the bottom of this letter they signed their name, and only partially erased it, see? *points at the bottom of the letter where someone wrote ÒSerg erovÓ *
Steve: We have our man.
Dandy: *looking at a picture of Sergei and drooling* YouÕre telling me.
*everyone give him weird looks*
Dandy: Er... I mean, I'm not gay! I have a wife! *runs off*
Tomas: Ôell dat vas special.
Steve: *with a raised eyebrow* yes. Very.
Nick: Anyway, I guess we need to go to SergeiÕs house, but maybe we should tie Dandy up first.
*At SergeiÕs house.*
Nick: *knocks on the door*
Steve: He should be here. I see his smashed up car in the drive way.
Bren: I donÕt understand how he crashed into that tree.
Jiri: Stevie! The grind line is trying to steal SergeiÕs hood ornament.
Steve: I donÕt see it happening *looks around and whistles*
The door opens, revealing Sergei.
Sergei: Eep! *tries to close door, Brendan stops him*
Cheli: *elbowing Steve* this is your chance, the Don is doing a discount on RussianÕs, half off.
Pt. 7
*Inside SergeiÕs house*
Steve: *Waving letters* Sergei Viktor Fedorov! What is this about?!
Brendan: Yeah Fedz! Why would you do this to our poor defenseless coach? *gestures to Lewis whose standing in the parlor staring at a painting on the wall blankly*
Sergei: *Defiantly* I do not need to tell you such things!
Cheli: *cracks knuckles* CÕmonÉ..
Sergei: WellÉ.hey, whereÕs Brett?
*From the kitchen*
Brett: *voice muffled* IÕm NOT in the Kitchen eating everything in your fridge!
Sergei: *sigh*
Henrik: Pavel! Lets go raid the kitchen too! We should be just like Hully!
Pavel: <You are the biggest moron I have ever met. One day when I rule the world, you will lick my skates>
Henrik: Awww. I love you too! Come on *grabs PavelÕs wrist and drags him into the kitchen*
Sergei: Get outta my house!
Shanny: We wanna know why youÕre doing this!
Sergei: IÕm not telling you!
Manny: *to the Grind Line* I hate to do thisÉ*goes up to Sergei and puts on a puppy face, and speaks in a baby-voice* Come on Sergei, please tell us why youÕre doing such mean things, we never were mean to you.
Sergei: Aw damn itÉ not the ÒCutest goalie on the earthÓ face! *breaks down and begins to cry* I just miss you so much! I wish I had never leftÉ.
Steve: Aww, there there. *pats him on the shoulder*
Hull: *returns from kitchen with an arm full of food.* Hey whatÕs going on?
Shanny: Nothing, go back to your food.
Brett: Friggin gladly! *heads back into the kitchen where we hear Pavel saying something menacingly in Russian*
Steve: Well Sergei, you could always waive your no trade clause or something and come back next yearÑ
Tomas: *interrupts* Stevie! We have game tonight yÕknow!
Steve: Damn, we doÉ Sergei. WeÕre sorry, but we gotta go. Please no more telling Dave how to play. *shouting* Hull! Dats, Hank! Come on! We gotta go! We got a game!
Tomas: Captain! Jiri is hiding that puppy under his coat!
Jiri: *looks around nervously*
Steve: Oh whatever, lets go!
Pt.8
*in the lockerroom*
Steve: Alright, weÕre due on the ice in less than five minutes, so lets be honest guys, who took JiriÕs puppy?
Jiri: *sniffling* LilÕ Sean just wanted some food, I came back and he was Goooooooooooooooooooone! *wails*
Steve: *winces, covers ears*
Pavel: <and they wonder why IÕm the only one who ever scores anymore.>
Henrik: What Peppy? You think you know where the Puppy is?
Pavel: *shakes head and gives him an innocent look* <No you moron, and I donÕt care about the puppy either. Can we please just get out onto the ice?>
Henrik: Aww, thanks Pavel.
Cujo: Hey. Can I be goalie tonight?
Steve: *over JiriÕs wailing* Do you know where the damn puppy is?
Cujo: No.
Steve: Then no.
Cujo: Damn.
Hull: Maybe the puppy is in the kitchen
Jiri: Hully you didnÕt eat him did you?!
Brett: No, IÕm not eating any small mammals this week.
Jiri: Oh good.
Dom: *pulls the puppy out of his gear* Is dis et?
Jiri: *Squeals* LilÕ Sean!!! *grabs puppy and cuddles it*
Steve: Okay Dom, you get to be goalie tonight.
Dom: Good.
Steve: Just PLEASE donÕt leave your crease.
*during the game*
Ken: Well theres ten minutes left in the third period and the Wings are winning three to two.
Mickey: IÕll tell ya Ken, these boys are amazing, amazing like nature. You like nature donÕt you Ken? Trees are part of nature, arenÕt treeÕs pretty? That reminds me of when I was still playing one time I was out on a pond and we---
Ken: Uh huh, oh look at Datsyuk streak down the ice...
*on the bench*
Shanny: Go Pavel! For a kid heÕs pretty good.
Steve: ThatÕs an understatement.
Shanny: No oneÕs better than me
Hully: Hey! ThatÕs my line!
Tomas is staring off into the distance when Dom walks by.
Dom: Hey Holmer. I go out to lunch. Yah?
Tomas: *nods absently*
Dom: Good. *leaves*
Tomas does a double take
Steve: Wait.... AH! WhereÕs Dom?!
Tomas: *nervously* Eh.. he... um... go out to lunch.
Steve: He WHAT?! Not again! Quick, someone, get a penalty before they score!
Darren: ThatÕs my que!
*Darren innocently trips over someoneÕs stick and proceeds to start a fight*
Steve: Cujo, are you ready to play?
Cujo: *sleeping*
Manny: I am!
Steve: Alright, get out there until Dom is back.
*Meanwhile*
Dom walks down the Streets of Detroit in his gear, a hot dog in hand.
*Back at the game*
Tomas: *Standing in front of the other teamÕs goalie* Please donÕt let him hit me. Please donÕt let him hit me.
Goalie: Ar. I hate you *wacks at him with his stick*
Tomas: Ah! *falls over*
Steve: Oh god. WeÕre so doomed....
Pt. 9
*third period*
Steve: Well so far, Dom is still missing and Manny has saved the game.
Dom: *bursts into the lockerroom wearing handcuffs.*
All: ....
Dom: I vasnÕt arrested by cops if dats what youÕre thinkingingingng....
Steve: Oh good God.
Bren: Dom what did you do?
Dom: Vell....
*flashback*
A bunch of puck bunnies: Oh Mr. Hasek, youÕre a rich hockey player! Sleep with us.
Dom: Vell now... *grins*
Girl one: Oh Mr. Hasek, me first!
Girl two: No! Me first!
Girl three: No way bitch! ME first!
All: No me! No me!! No ME!!
Dom: Ladies, ladies, thereÕs plenty of Dommi to go around.
*Flashback end*
Brendan: *raised eyebrow* Um, Dom, that was a nice fantasy story and all, but, that doesnÕt explain the handcuffs...
Dom: Vhat handcuffs?
Bren: The ones on-- *blinks in confusion* WhereÕd they go?
Dom: *waves hands in BrendanÕs face mystically* No where, there were no handcuffs, it was just a nightmare...
Steve: Damn it Dom, stop messing with BrendanÕs mind, itÕs feeble enough.
Brendan: *wanders around the locker room aimlessly, confusion written on his face*
Pavel: <Good God, IÕm going to kill you all.>
Henrik: Yeah Pavel, this is pretty crazy stuff. I agree, lets go make out in the backroom. *Grabs Pavel and Drags him out*
Pavel: <Not right now! God! CanÕt you at least wait until after the game?!>
Henrik: *As he drags the poor Russian away* Yeah, I love you too Pavel!
Steve: Oh come on! WeÕve got to be back out there in three minutes! Dom, you are in SERIOUS trouble when the game is over.
Dom: Eeep!!
*On the ice*
Tomas: Ow, I fall over.
Darren: *as he skates by* Yeah, that happens a lot
Darren: Must remember CanÕt kill the other players, canÕt kill the other players...
Brendan: Must remember, canÕt grab Steve and make out with him on the bench...
Dom: Must... untie... bonds... *starts running, trying to get out of net, but the tether theyÕve used to tie him to the net, to stops short and he falls on his back* Owwie
Steve: *as he skates by* Next time it will be duct-tape AND a tether.
Dom: But how will I get lunch?
Steve: Eat before the game
*meanwhile*
Pavel: <I get a goal, eventually become Captain of team, and take over the world.>
Henrik: Go Peppy! IÕll assist you! *passes puck to Pavel, who scores.*
All: Woo! Four to two!
Fans: LETS GO RED WINGS!
Steve: *wipes brow* Only five more minutes till I can get away from the madness and go home...
Pt.10
*After the game*
Steve: *falls back onto the bench in his locker* Wooo. Well that was a typical game.
Brendan: yeah. *pulls off skates* Thank goodness itÕs over.
Pavel: <I saved all of your pathetic asses. You can bow down and kiss my skates now>
Henrik: Yeah Pavel, we do work really well as a team.
Darren: *Comes back in from being interviewed* IÕm gonna fuckin kill you Drapes.
Kris: Aw Come on Dare, I was just playing.
Darren: Yeah, now the whole world thinks I have ADD or something, and I hyperventilate when being interviewed.
Stevie: What was Kris doing?
Darren: *grumbles something and moves to get undressed*
Kirk: Yeah, he and I were giving Darren a strip show.
Steve: Oh god, too much info!
Cheli: Yeah! If only I could stab out my inner eye and never get mental pictures again!!
Jiri: LilÕ Sean is hungry.
Brendan: Aw, itÕs just like Real Sean. Where is he anyway?
Mathieu S: Um, they traded him like, last year, for me...
Brendan: *shocked* No!
Steve: *rolls eyes and ties his shoe laces*
Nick: Yeah, Max too.
Brendan: WhoÕs Max?
Pavel: <AH! I KILL YOU!> *runs at Brendan* <HOW DARE YOU FORGET MY MAX?!>
Brendan: *dodges* Man, Peppy does that to me way too often.
Henrik: He just thought you were insulting me, he was trying to defend me.
Brett: Right, so weÕve figured out where Sean and Max went. WhereÕs Sergei?
Cheli: Brett DonÕt you remember that big trip we took to Anaheim to see why Sergei was sending us letters that were giving Dave bad advice?
Brett: No.
Cheli: ButÉ
Brett: *has already wandered away aimlessly*
Steve: ThatÕs it, IÕm going to the bar.
Dom: * walks in, tether still around his neck, and dragging the net behind him.* My neck be hurting.
Steve: *Gets up and leaves, Brendan close behind him*
Pavel: <Damn it, Dom just trampled my shoulder pads. When I rule the world, heÕs the first to go.>
Henrik: Thanks Peppy, I was glad to assist you with that last goal.
Pavel: *Bewildered* <For ChristÕs Sake! I wasnÕt talking to you when I said that, I wasnÕt even looking in your general direction! In FACT, I had my back turned to you!>
Henrik: Aww. Peppy, you donÕt have to compliment me, it was mostly your doing.
Pavel: <You crazy Bastard. Why do I hang around with you?!>
Henrik: Yeah, I know you love me.
Pavel: *begins to cry and curls up in his locker*
Jiri: Ut-oh, heÕs doing that thing where he sobs uncontrollably again.
Darren: Yay!
All: *look at him*
Darren: ErÉ I meanÉ oh no.
Drapes: *elbows him*
Darren: IÕm sorry, but itÕs funny when he sobs like that.
Brett: Yip yip yip. It would be funnier if Nick sobbed like that.
Nick: Good Christ! ThatÕs IT, IÕm going back to Sweden!
Brett: No! YouÕre the best defensemen on our team, and in the league!
Cheli: *ahem*
Brett: I meanÑerÑChris, I love you!
Chris: Oh, I am SO going to get a hit taken out on you.
Kirk: *dreamily* I wish I had green hair.
Pt.11
Steve: *at the bar with Brendan* Sometimes I just think you guys all broke out of a mental institute and managed to get into the NHL.
Brendan: Shit, youÕre on to us!
Steve: What?!
Brendan: UmÉ I saidÉ ÒGlad youÕre fond of us.Ó
Steve: *placidly* oh, okay.
*Kirk comes walking into the bar, SteveÕs eyes widen*
Steve: What on earth did you do to your hair?!
Kirk: What IÕve always wanted to!
Steve: Grow Mold on it??!
Kirk: *defensivly* itÕs not moldy itÕs ÒOutragously wild and crazy greenÓ
Steve: Why?!
Kirk: HavenÕt you ever wanted to dye your hair an interesting color?
Brendan: Come to think of itÉ red always seemed to suite me best.
*Kris and Darren come in, KrisÕ hair is pink, DarrenÕs blue.*
Steve: Oh not you guys too!
Darren: JiriÕs is purple, you should see it. And his puppy---
Steve: No lord! Tell me he didnÕt dye his puppyÕs fur!
Darren: WellÉ
Steve: Why didnÕt Nick stop you guys?!
Nick *walks in*
Steve: Oh christ. NO!
Nick: Hey, what can I say? I always liked the color orange.
Steve: Did anyone NOT dye their hair??
Brendan: Well, I didnÕt.
Steve: thatÕs cuz you were with me.
Darren: Cheli almost didnÕt. but then he decided he liked red enoughÉ
Brendan: Damn it! There goes my color!
Steve: *glare*
Brendan: *patting Steve on the shoulder* well, at least you can rest assured that Pavel didnÕt dye his hair, he doesnÕt even know what dye is.
Pavel: *walks in looking miserable with red streaks in his hair* <I hate this team, dying my hair while I wasnÕt paying attentionÉ.>
Steve: ThatÕs it! *gets up and leaves* IÕm not coming back and being captain until you all fix whatever chemical malfunction you have in your brains.
Pt.12
Dandy: Yay! Yayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayay!!!!
Brendan: WhatÕs got you so hot and bothered?
Dandy: YAY!!!!
Nick: What are you so excited about Dandy?
Dandy: YayayayayayayYAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nick: I believe we need a Stupidity translator. Jiri!
Jiri: *comes running, LilÕ Sean in hand* Yes maÕam?
Nick: *sighing* Please tell us what Dandy is trying to say.
Dandy: YAY!!YAYAY!!!!!
Jiri: He says: ÒSean is comingÉÓ
Dandy: YAYAYAYAYAY!!!
Jiri: ÒBack to visit.Ó
Nick: *eyes widen* Oh God! And Steve is pretending to be injured so he can get out of dealing with us.
Dom: *comes in and falls down, clutching his groin* Owwie.
Bren: Hey Dom, you okay?
Dom: I wokeded up dis morning and my groin be hurtingÉ
Manny: *looks nonchalant*
Curtis: *comes in limping* I woke up this morning and my ankle was hurt.
Bren: Oh no! How could this have happened?!
//*flashback* //
*Manny sneaks into DomÕs house, dressed all in black*
ÒIÕm sorry to do this Dom, but since youÕve come backÉ well, no play time for innocent little MannyÉ soÉÓ *He pulls out a couple rocks and drops them on DomÕs groin*
Dom: *stirs a little* Owwie. I sorry! I no sell illegal cocaine weazles no more!
Manny: UmÉ one more just to be safe *drops another one, then shuffles out, looking ashamed. Utter silence desends the room and Manny shuffles back in*
ÒJust in caseÉÓ *drops another rock, then shuffles out*
~At CujoÕs~
Manny: *shuffling in* IÕm sorry Cuj. But ever since you joined the team, I havenÕt had much playing timeÉ I really hate to do thisÉ
*Hits Cuj. In the ankle with a stick*
Cujo: Ah! *sits up* WhoÕs there?!
Manny: UhÉ itÕs just me. MannyÉ
Cujo: *face calms* Oh Manny. Good, IÕm just having that dream again.
Manny: Huh?
Cujo: *drops a wink* You know, the one.
Manny: OhÉ of course. *concerned*
Cujo: Well, what are you waiting for? ArenÕt you going to tell me what a bad doggy IÕve been?
Manny: *inspired. * I could injure him another way tooÉ *sly grin* YouÕve been a BAD, BAD doggyÉ
//*flashback end*//
Manny: *Receeds into his locker, aÉ look on his face*
Pavel: <My god. I know that lookÉ HeÕs PLOTTING SOMETHING!>
Manny: Come on Sean, come onÉ where are you? I need you to distract themÉ
*Just then the doors burst open and Sean appears, grinning madly*
Sean: Hey guys! *Glances at Malts* Nice hair!
Malts: All of us had it dyed, but most of the guys want Steve to come back badly enough that they dyed theirs back to normal.
*everyone begins talking to Sean happily, except for Manny and Pavel*
Pavel: < I know heÕs up to somethingÉ. But what? Damn it. If I hadnÕt pretended for so long that I donÕt speak englishÉ> *sighs* <Oh well, IÕll just have to find out what heÕs plotting laterÉ>
Manny: Yes, and once I become Star GoalieÉ. ThenÉ IÕll take over the whole team, and play ALL the positions! Wahahahahahaha!
To Be Continued!
Sean: Hey! There's the Pepmister! *walks over and rubs Pavel's head, Pavel growls and snaps his teeth at Sean*
Henrik: Hey, Peppy, why are you offering your love bites to Sean? I thought you love me?
Peppy: <What the hell is wrong with your brain? Were you dropped on your head?>
Henrik: *looks hurt* Fine. I'm going over here. *moves away, leaving Peppy with his mouth hanging open*
Sean: Heya Jiri! Whose Puppy?
Tomas: 'e stole it outta someonebodyies backward.
Nick: You mean back "Yard"
Tomas: You not my real daddy! *runs away*
Nick: Whatever.
Sean: Where is El Captitan?
Brendan: *knocks back another shot* He left until we stop acting weird.
Sean: So, casino or bar?
Brendan: Both.
Sean: Alrighty then I'm gonna go eat.
Brett: A man after my own heart! *follows Sean, everyone else follows him except Manny, Pavel and Henrik*
Manny: good. Now I get to play goalie for the next few games. Then maybe after that I'll be made captian... I wonder if any goalies have ever been made captian before.... * gets lost in his own little world*
Pavel: <What is he planning damn it?> *Glances over at Henrik, who is moping in his locker and fiddling with his skates and frowns. <Why is he so upset all of the sudden?>
*Jiri bursts into the lockerroom*
Hey guys! Sean and Lil' Sean are having a contest to see who can eat the most dog food!
Manny: Oh god. Ew. We need Steve to come back. Now. *Turns to Henrik and Pavel*
You two, go get him. Quickly.
Pavel: <I take orders from no one!>
Henrik: Can we use the Red Bird II?
Manny: God, he's a mile away, walk or drive it!
Henrik: Alright. *turns to Pavel* Come on then.
Pavel: <Damn you! Why are you not acting like yourself?! Be loud and irritating, tell me you adore me!>
Henrik: Alright, if you say so.
Pavel: <YOU DO NOT SPEAK RUSSIAN!>
Henrik: No need to shout. We can take my car.
Pavel: *sighs*
Henrik: Okay Manny, We'll be back.
TBC