Title: Blue Christmas
Author: Hockey Slasher19
Disclaimer: I don't own the Song "Blue Christmas" Nor do I own the Wings
Dedication: To Manny Legace. Because I felt like it
A/n: I LOVE Steve Yzerman, he is my HERO. I would never..... well, I don't want to spoil it. So just read it...
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I'll have a blue Christmas without you
December 25th.
“Stevie.
I love you. I miss you...”
Brendan put down the pen he held in his hand and looked over at the photo on his desk: Steve and himself, standing out in the snow, Steve covered in the frosty white powder, grinning, and Brendan, his arms around his lover, laughing at the camera as he held Steve closely. In the background was a snow-man, that they had spent all afternoon building. The sky was blue, the sun making the snow a blinding white.... Brendan could remember every detail of that day perfectly, the sun beating down uselessly without any heat on them, how their breath left their mouths in huge white plumes before disappearing. Steve wore red mittens, not gloves, with the Wings symbol on them, and a red stocking cap. His jacket was black, and his scarf red and White. He had laughed so much that day, falling back into the snow and making an angel, helping Brendan roll the snow into huge balls and make a snow man. They were out there for hours, laughing, and playing, not a care in the world.....
I'll be so blue thinking about you
Brendan looked away from the photo, a tear rolling down his cheek, and he wiped it away hastily. He and Steve had gotten together three days before Christmas. They had accidentally met up at an outdoor skating pond, and decided to spend the day together, skating. It had been fun, just talking and skating, and Brendan had asked Steve to come over for coca, Steve agreed.
Brendan could remember with perfect clarity: Steve walking into his house, snowflakes caught in his hair, his cheeks red from the cold. Brendan had offered him a cup of coca, and they went out into the backyard to look at the clear night sky. The stars were huge and bright, and it had been a full moon. Steve sat down his cup of coca, and suddenly tagged Brendan. “It!” He ran out into the snow. Brendan’s eyes widened, and he laughed, chasing the smaller man into the yard.
Decorations of red on a green Christmas tree
Steve had tripped, rolling onto his back in the snow and laughing. Brendan tripped and fell on top of him, Steve lay there for a moment, then pointed up at the sky with a smile. It began to snow. Brendan turned and looked, grinning, and then turned back to Steve, it was the perfect moment...... he leaned in and kissed the smaller man. They had been together ever since.
Brendan sighed, closing his eyes. He missed Steve.
Won't be the same if you're not here with me
Four years later had been the making of the snow-man, and the afternoon out in the snow. God, that had been their last Christmas together before.... he didn’t want to think about it, but his mind went there anyway. Steve had gone out on February 22nd, to get hot coca and marshmallows. He called Brendan, asking him if he wanted big ones or small ones. Brendan had laughed and said “Stevie, it’s up to you.” Steve had a grin in his voice as he said “Alright, Love you.” Brendan smiled “Bye Stevie, love ya.” It had been said so casually, then... *drunk drivers should all be shot.* Brendan thought bitterly, looking down at his large hands. Steve had been on his way home, it had started to snow again, but not badly. Some idiot swerved into Steve’s lane... it had been too icy.... Steve had no chance. He flew out the windshield, and landed in the snow covered field. His spine broke, as he landed on his back, he saw the snow floating down around him. *Brendan...* was the last thought as the synapses in his brain fired one last time before he closed his eyes and died.
And when those blue snowflakes start fallin'
Brendan looked back down at the letter he was writing. His hand was shaking. Things have never been the same... he didn’t know how he was able to go on, it had been with the help of the team he was still alive. Steve had been his life, his heart, his soul. He put the pen to the paper, and began to write again.
“I never got to tell you everything, how you made me feel, how much I loved you. My last words to you were too casual. “Love ya.” What’s that? It’s nothing. I never told you how much you meant to me, how I was sure I’d die without you. I need you Steve. I never told you I need you. You were my everything, now life seems like a distant dream....” He paused, unaware there were tears building up in his eyes, making them glisten. “I loved you Stevie. I love you. I'm so sorry I never told you it all.....”
And when those blue melodies start callin'
His chest ached. The team had supported him, but he still felt...... empty. He glanced back at the picture of Steve, grinning..... so happy... Brendan hadn’t felt that way in so long... One of the tears rolled down his cheek and landed on the paper with a soft “plop” he didn’t notice. Each Christmas with Steve had been so amazing, so perfect, and this was his first one without... “I didn’t bother to decorate this year Stevie, I'm alone in the house, there was no need. You aren’t here.” He stopped writing, the black ink was blurry, and he realized it was because of his unshed tears. He wiped them away absently.
You'll be doin' all right with your Christmas of white But I'll have a blue blue blue blue Christmas
Brendan didn’t know what else to write. He had too much to say, too little to say. He just wanted his lover back. He finished the letter with “I love you” and folded it, stuffing it into an envelope and putting it into his pocket. He opened the closet door and stared at Steve’s coat, hanging next to his own. Finally, he reached in, and pulled on his own coat, and stocking cap, and pushing his lover’s gloves, which were too small for his hands, into his coat pocket. He didn’t have Steve’s favorite scarf, it had gone missing after his lover died.....He got into his car, sitting there silently and staring at nothing for a few moments, before starting it.
Decorations of red on a green Christmas tree
Won't mean a thing, if you're not here with me
He drove in silence, his thoughts on Steve, and finally reached the cemetery, the snow inside the fence was untouched, no one had stepped in there yet. He parked his car and entered slowly, holding the envelope in his shaking hands. After walking a good ways he came to a grave stone, with a engraving on it. “Steve Yzerman: Beloved Captain, friend, and companion. Loved by all.” Brendan kneeled slowly, running one bare hand along the engravement and sighing.
I'll have a blue Christmas that's certain And when that blue heartache starts hurtin'
Another tear rolled down his cheek and he placed the envelope on Steve’s plot, closing his eyes as he remembered tripping and landing on top of his small lover and kissing him. He found himself wondering for a moment if they celebrated Christmas in heaven. He hoped they did, it had been one of Steve’s favorite holidays...
You'll be doin' all right, with your Christmas of white,
He adjusted the envelope and touched the gravestone one last time. “I love you Stevie. I miss you...” He kept his eyes closed and suddenly felt very warm, just then a breath tickled in his ear, and a pair of familiar hands wrapped Steve’s favorite scarf around his neck, making him jump. “I Love you too Bren.” He spun around, and for an instant, Steve stood before him, clear as day, wearing his black jacket, and cap. The older man flashed him a smile and a wink, then disappeared. Brendan’s eyes were wide and he was shaking, then he heard it again. “Love you Bren. Merry Christmas love.” He stood there, thinking about what had just happened, and slowly made himself begin to walk. He got into his car, and was beginning to convince himself he had just imagined it all when he felt the scarf around his neck. He fingered it for a moment, and then burst into tears, not knowing what else to do.
But I'll have a blue, blue Christmas
The end.
Love it? Hate it? Want a sequal? Send me some damned reviews then at: Hockey_slasher19@yahoo.com