"Oh wowie, I smell something good!"
"Yeah where is it, you know I got the sniffles and can't smell anything," Isaach Coon said to his brother Abraham Coon.
"It's coming from that house there," Abraham replied, for Abraham Coon had one keen nose.
The two coon brothers who were out for their Friday evening stroll, slowly circled the house, looking for an easy way to the food.
"Nothing. Durn people keep all their doors closed. How in the heck is a hungry Coon supposed to find nourishment?" Isaach was looking and a thinking.
Abraham spotted an open window, one about seven or eight feet off the ground. "There, see, there is the door to our supper."
Then the two brothers backed off.
"See that elm tree?" Isaach was a thinking. "See that elm tree, heck if we slowly went out on it, the weight would make it sag right down to that window." And with that Isaach Coon started to climb the elm tree along side the house.
Abraham, who was not quite as daring as his brother, moved over where he could get a better perspective of the window, and the limb. "Go ahead brother Isaach and I will evaluate you efforts."
Isaach started out on the long slender elm limb, but all at once the limb dipped and Isaach fell off. "Dag nab it anyhow, little old limb."
He started to climb the tree, but looked down at his brother and added, "This time I will go slower and then I can jump onto the open window sill."
"Maybe you should . . . ," Abraham started to say as his brother fell.
In short, the sixteenth try Isaach got the limb to slowly sag so he walked onto the window ledge and disappeared inside. "Come on Abraham." he called back.
Abraham, after watching and giving all sorts of advice to his brother, made it onto the window ledge, but on the fifth try.
As Abraham stuck his head into the window he heard this funny noise. Looking down, he said, "My gosh Isaach what on earth is that?"
"Watch the first step oh brother of mine," Isaach replied. He took his pawa and slapped a little rubber duck that was floating in the bathtub.
About that time there was a big splash and Isaach laughed. "That first step, oh brother Abraham, is a good one."
"Yuuuuuuks! Super yuuuuuuks! Hee heeeeee, Isaach you are blue!"
Abraham looked at his brother and saw a bright blue Isaach. The bathtub was full of curtains, which obviously were being dyed a bright blue.
"Abraham, you are blue too! Har de har har har!" Isaach slapped the rubber duck and it went "quack quack quack".
Eventually the two brothers climbed out of the tub, dripping bright blue dye water, and headed toward the kitchen.
"Isaach, up there on that counter. I smell it. Whooooooooie! Yes siree bob, I smell it." Abraham climbed on a step stool, then to the trash can, and then up on the counter.
"Right behind you oh brother of mine, right behind you," Isaach said as he followed his brother, leaving a dark blue puddle of water with every step he took.
As soon as they reached the top of the counter, their little beady Isaac eyes lit up, for there were three apple pies there cooling off. It seemed that Mr. And Mrs. Husband had run into town to get some curtain rods and Mrs. Husband had made the pies to take to the VFW dance on Saturday night.
As Isaach took his first bite he looked at his brother and began to sing in a very off key non-melodic way. "When it's apple pie time in Bumfuzzle, when the Isaachs eat their fill . . . . " Then his face went back into the pie and the singing was forgotten.
"Wowie! Oh geepers! That lady surely does make good apple pie," Abraham said. And he was half-way through his pie. As he began to get full he felt playful and turned to look at things on the kitchen counter.
About that time Isaach, who was also getting quite full, slapped the plate with his paw and it slid across the counter, hitting Abraham's plate, then ricocheting off and hitting the sugar canister, which fell over.
Abraham, not to be outdone, took one last bite and slapped his plate, which hit his brother and caused him to back up, thereby hitting the newly opened can of maple syrup and turning it over. "Tally ho," Abraham hollered as he slapped a pepper shaker at his brother.
"Back to you," Isaach hollered as he slapped it back. And the brotherly coon riot was on.
Soon the flour was turned over, and then the salt toppled over. The counter and floor were one big mess.
Finally Abraham shoved Isaach and Isaach fell onto the trashcan, overturning it and spilling the contents all over the floor.
By this time there was a nice blue line dried on the floor where the two dripping wet brothers had come from the bathroom.
Abraham leaped onto the trashcan, and it being good plastic, bounced him up and against the refrigerator, which just happened to come open.
Need I say more?
Just as Mr. And Mrs. Husband drove into the drive way the Reverend Pickles drove up. "How Rev, come on in and have a cup of coffee and a piece of the wife's apple pie."
"Thank you Mr. Husband, reckon as how I will. I need to talk to you about the church lawn."
The three walked into the house and found the living room in shambles; the kitchen was wrecked and the floor was covered with blue dye water.
"What the holy . . . .?"
Mr. Husband and The Reverend Pickles stepped back as the two coon brothers, who had been sleeping on Mrs. Husband's new white sofa, jumped off and waddled out the open front door.
"Pretty good meal," Isaach said to his brother as they started for home.
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