Studying English pronunciation,
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.
It will keep you, Susy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy;
Tear in eye your dress you'll tear,
So shall I! Oh, hear my prayer,
Pray, console your loving poet,
Make my coat look new, dear, sew
it! Just compare heart, beard and heard,
Dies and diet, Lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain,
(Mind the latter, how it's written);
Made has not the sound of bade;
Say - said, pay - paid, laid, but plaid.
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as vague and ague,
But be careful how you speak,
Say break, steak, but bleak and streak,
Previous, precious, fuschia, via;
Pipe, snipe, recipe and choir,
Cloven, oven; how and low;
Script, receipt; shoe, poem, toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery:
Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, nieasles, topsails, aisles;
Exiles, kimiles, reviles;
Wholly, holly; signal, signing;
Thames, examining, combining;
Scholar, vicar and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far.
From "desire" desirable - admirable from "admire";
Lumber, plumber; bier, but brier;
Chatham, brougham; renown, but known,
Knowledge, done, but gone and tone,
One, anernone; Balmoral;
Kitchen, lichen; laundry,. laurel,
Gertrude, German; wind and mind;
Scene, Melpomene; mankind;
Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather,
Reading, reading, heathen, heather.
This phonetic labyrinth
Gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth.
Billet does not sound like ballet;
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should or would.
Banquet is not nearly parquet,
Which is said to rime with"khaki".
Viscous, viscount; load and broad;
Foward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation's O.K.,
When you say correctly:: croquet;
Rounded, wounded; grieve and sieve;
Friend and fiend; alive and live;
Liberty, library; heave and heaven;
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed;
People, leopard; towed, but vowed.
Mark the difference, moreover,
Between mover, plover, Dover,
Leeches, breeches; wise, precise;
Chalice, but police and lice.'
Camel, constable, unstable;
Principle, disciple; label;
Potal, penal and canal;
Wait,surmise, plait, promise, pal.
Suit, suite, ruin; circuit, conduit
Rime with "shirk it" and "beyond it".
But it is not hard to tell,
Why it's pall, mall, but Pall Mall.
Muscle, muscular; gaol; iron;
Timber, climber, bullion, lion;
Worm and storm; chaise, chaos, chair;
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Ivy, privy; famous. Clamour
And enamour rime with "hammer".
Pussy, hussy and possess,
Desert, but dessert, address.
Golf, wolf; countenance; lieutenants
Hoist, in lieu of flags, left pennants.
River, rival; tomb, bomb, comb;
Doll and roll and some and home,
Stranger does not rime with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Soul, but foul and gaunt, but aunt;
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and, grant.
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then: singer, ginger, linger.
Roal, zoal, mauve, gauze and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, age.
Query does not rime with "very",
Nor does fury sound like' bury'
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth,
Job, job, blossom, bosom, oath.
Though the difference seems little,
We say actual, but victual,
Seat, sweat, chaste, caste, Leigh, eight, height;
Put, nut, granite and unite.
Reefer does not rime with "deafer",
Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer,
Dull, bull; Geoffrey, George; ate, late;
Hint, pint; senate, but sedate;
Scenic, Arabic, pacific;
Science, conscience, scientific.
Tour, but our and succour, four;
Gas, alas, and Arkansas!
Sea, idea, guinea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria;
)'outh, south, southern; cleanse and clean;
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion with battalion.
Sally with ally; yea,,ye,
Eye,I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay!
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, receiver.
Never guess - it is not safe:
We say calves, valves, half, but Ralf!
Heron, granary, canary,
Crevice and device, and eyrie.
Face, but preface, but efface,
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass;
Large, but target, gin, give, verging;
Ought, out joust and scour, but scourging.
Far, but earn; and wear and bear
Do not rime with "here", but "ore".
Seven is right,.but so is even;
Hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen;
Monkey, donkey; clerk and jerk;
Asp, grasp, wasp; and cork and work.
Pronunciation '- think of psyche! -
In a paling stout and spikey;
Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing "grouts" and saying groats (grits)?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel,
Strewn with stones, like rowlock, gunwale.
Is1ington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict, and indict!
Don't you think so, reader, rather,
Saying lather, bather, father?
Finally: which rimes with "enough",
Though, through, plough, cough, hough, or trough?
Hiccough has the sound of "cup"......................
My advice is: give it up
OUR STRANGE LANGUAGE
by E.L. Sabin
When the English tongue we speak,
Why is "break" not rhymed with "freak"?
Will you tell me why it's true,
We say "sew" but likewise "few",
And the fashioner of verse
Cannot cap his "horse" with "worse"?
"Beard" sounds not the same as "heard",
"Cord" is different from "word";
"Cow" is cow but "low" is low,
"Shoe" is never rhymed with "foe";
Think of "hose" and "dose" and "lose",
And of "goose" and also "choose";
Think of "tomb" and "bomb" and "comb",
"Doll" and "roll" and "some" and "home",
And since "pay" is rhymed with "say",
Why not "paid" and "said" I pray?
We have "blood" and "food" and "good",
"Mould" is not pronounced like "could";
Wherefore "done" but "gone" and "lone"?
Is there any reason known?
No in short, it seems to me
Sound and letters disagree.
from: Practical Rules for Pronounciation, arranged by C. Heyman, Teacher of English in the Haarlem H.B.S. Third Edition; probably around 1910 (slightly adapted)
I take it you already know
Of tough and bough and cough and dough?
Others may stumble, but not you
On hiccough, thorough, slough, and through?
Well done! And now you wish, perhaps,
To learn of less familiar traps?
Beware of heard, a dreadful word
That looks like beard and sounds like bird,
And dead: it's said like bed, not bead--
For goodness' sake, don't call it deed!
Watch out for meat and great and threat,
(They rhyme with suite and straight and debt.)
A moth is not a moth in mother
Nor both in bother, broth in brother,
And here is not a match for there,
And dear and fear for bear and pear,
And then there's dose and rose and lose--
Just look them up--and goose and choose,
And cork and work and card and ward,
And font and front and word and sword,
And do and go, and thwart and cart--
Come, come I've hardly made a start!
A dreadful language? Why man alive!
I'd learned to talk it when I was five,
And yet to write it, the more I tried,
I hadn't learned at fifty-five!
The bandage was wound round the wound
The farm was used to produce produce
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse
We must polish the Polish furniture
He could lead if he would get the lead out
The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum
When shot at the dove dove into the bushes
I did not object to the object
The insurance was invalid for the invalid
There was a row among the oaesmen about how to row
They were too close to the door to close it
The buck does funny things when the does are present
A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line
To help with planting the farmer taught his sow to sow
The wind was too strong to wind the sail
After a number of injections my jaw got number
Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
My name is GHOT
To be pronounced as FISH:
GH as in laugh
O as in women
and T as in nation
Actually it is not possible to pronounce the name GHOT:
GH as in though
O as in people
T as in listen
The combination ough can be pronounced in fourteen different ways:
1. awe: thought, bought, fought, brought, ought, sought, nought, wrought
2. uff: enough, rough, tough, slough, Clough, chough
3. ooh: through, slough
4. oh: though, although, dough, doughnut, broughm, Ough, furlough, Greenough, thorough
5. off: cough, trough
6. ow: bough, plough, sough
7. ou: drought, doughty, Stoughton
8. uh: Scarborough, borough, thorough (alt), thoroughbred, Macdonough, Poughkeepsie
9. up: hiccoughed
10. oth: trough (alt)
11. ock: lough, hough
12. oc[h] (aspirated): lough
13. ahf: Gough
14. og: Coughlin (also #5)
The following sentence contains them all:
Rough-coated(2), dough-faced(4), thoughtful(1) ploughman(6) John Gough(13) strode through(3) the streets of Loughborough(2+8);
after falling into a slough(2) on Coughlin(14) road near the lough(12) (dry due to drought)(7), he coughed(5) and
hiccoughed(9), then checked his horse's houghs(11)and washed up in a trough(10).
seven ways to pronounce the combination augh:
1. awe: aught, caught, daughter, distraught, faugh, fraught, haughty, naught, onslaught, usquebaugh
5. off: Laughlin
11. ock: haugh(=a corner of land), saugh(=sallow)
13. ahf: draught, laugh
15. ack: kiaugh, saugh (alt)
16: ugh: Taughanok
17: ah: usquebaugh(= whiskey) (alt)
The following sentence contains them all:
Saugh-faced(15), haughty (1)John Laughlin(5), from a haugh(11) by Taughanock(16) Falls, had a merry laugh(13) when he'd been
into the usquebaugh.(17)
12 Ways to pronounce -ough
From an English newspaper in the 1940s (adapted):
A rough-coated, dough-faced ploughman, called Ayscough (pronounced
Askew), slapped his horse on the hough (hock) as he rode through the
streets of Willsborough, coughing and hiccoughing thoughtfully, while
the wind was soughing (Oxford Dictionary 'sooching') through the
lough."
(there may be more variants: aren't there other ways of pronouncing -borough? )
It will be difficult for a computer to recognize speech in cases like these:
It's easy to recognise speech is not easily distinguished from It's easy to wreck a nice peach
How can you tell a phone from a submarine? / How can you telephone from a submarine?
It makes us enter / It makes a centre
painted oar / paint a door
we seem able / we see Mable
Black Sabbath have been accused of encouraging people to commit suicide by singing: "I tell you to end your life" They claim they sang: "I tell you to enjoy life!"
How to acquire an upperclass British pronunciation (from The Queen's English by Sir Vere Brayne d'Hemmidge & Lady Mayna
Brayne d'Hemmidge) With teeth clenched and stiff upperlip say loudly and clearly:
Eggs-queues may;Thin cue;Water nayce dawg!; Wart ease thah dawgs neem? ;Dior-calm-hair-orphan?
Ay-merry-ken eggs-prayers
Gawd sieve ah grey shahs quin,
Lawng leave ah no bull quin.
bawth rrm ; shire ; tiles
brick-fist, sahpah
Mary crease-mice; Praws-praws gnu yah;
Scawtland ;Jar-money ;Whore-lend ; Beel-jahm ; Yawn-nated Steet-sawvay-merry-car; Where's tin-dears; Mick-sick-oh; Horse-trail-ear; Paw-tugle; Tah-care; Ticks-arse;Floor-ridder;Kelly-fawn-yah;Knee-auk; May-emmy;Gnaw-weir;Jeer-brawl-tar;Horse-trail-ear
Ay-merry-ken eggs-prayers
Gawd sieve ah grey shahs quin,
Lawng leave ah no bull quin.
knee-pulls; VNR; Airthins; Toe-cure ;Bar-lean; Bjor-daw-pissed
Ear-dawl feet-lah; Railing Stains; May-kill jix-horn;Frenc-sah-naught-rah; Elbah-tain-stain; Ged-orf-here
Click here
to see what you have just said Now that you have practised this you are ready for the following
tale:
Worns ay pornay tame, thah wores ay lear-till ghel end hah neem wores
Galed-ear-lawks. Worn dear, ears sheer ren Ian thah wards, sheer kem earcraws ay
pree-teah caught-itch. Thah daw awv thah caught-itch wores airpin end sheer
dear-sayed-dead taw gay Ian-sayed end hevvah lawk rind. Wart ay knot-ear ghel
sheer wores! Shen-tarred end spayed ay teable awl rid-ear sit faw Brie-ache-fawst,
weirth threah pleats awv poor-itch ay-porn eat. Galed-ear-lawks set dine end stawtid taw ate
frawm thah beer-ghist pleat awv poor-itch.'These poor-itch ease taw hawt end taw lahm-pear,'
sheer sid taw hah-sylph.Sue seeing, sheer set dine Ian frahn-tawv theh meed-ill saisd pleat end
caw-minced taw ate thet.'These poor-itch ease taw kaled end taw saul-tear,' sheer krayed.
Galed-ear-lawks thin set dine beefah theh smol-est pleat, peaked ahp theh spawn end hed ay
mythe-fall.'These poor-itch ease jars treat,' sheer eeks-clearmd hair-pully, end sheer
pru-see-dead taw it eat awl ahp.Win sheer hed fear-nearshd, sheer wores vireh tayed end claimed
theh stars Ilan awdah tev ay wrist.Ahp stars sheer fained threah bids. Thah wores ay lawj bid,
ay meed-ill saised bid end ay leetle bear-beer bid. Galed-ear-lawks lee dine awn thah beeg bid
fast.'These bid ease taw whored,' sheer krayed, end trayed theh meed-ill saisd bid.'These bid
ease taw sawft,' sheer acks-pause-tior-litred, end wint Ava taw theh leetle bear-beer bid.
Sheer lee dine awn eat end smaled, fah sheer wores sah- praised.'These bear-beer bid ease jars
treat,' sheer shited lied-leh, end eno tame sheer fill faw-store slip.Jarst thin, thah threah
bahs, whore wear theh rill anus awv theh caught-itch ree-tahned frawm in ahlay more-kneeing
cawn-steet-yaw-shone-ill Ian theh faw-wrist. Thee worry-gawsd et wart thee fained.'Whores bin
itting may poor-itch?' yeild deadie bah.'Psalm-worns bin itting may poor-itch taw,' sid mah-meah
bah Ian ar airs-mint.'Psalm-worns bin itting may poor-itch taw,' krayed leetle bear-beer bah,
'end thev ittin eat awl ahp.' Ay T.R. ren dine he's fees.'Will seer ay-bite these,' said deadie
bah, reecing farther stars. 'Tharn-traw-door me steal beer Ian ah hice. Calm awn!' here shited,
end wren ahp theh stars, fall-laid bay he's waif end jailed.Thee med saachi dean thet
Galed-ear-lawks hard thim end woe-carp. Sheer ren Ava taw theh wheen-day, jarmt ite end deshed
awf Ian-taw the borschs, whipping end kraying. Galed-ear-lawks nivver wint bek Ian taw thah
wards ay gayne, bart steed clues taw hah mah-meah end hah deadie, end leaved hair-pully ivvah
awftah.
Click here
for the translation.
Another fairy-tale, which only makes sense if you read it aloud with an
American accent.
