D.M.P.4682

 

 

 

                MINISTRY OF DEFENCE

                                                            Main Building, Whitehall, London SW1A 2HB

Telephone (Direct Dialling) 071.21.9999

(Switchboard) 071.21.89000

NOTIFICATION OF COMPULSORY ENLISTMENT

Dear Sir,

Under the Emergency Powers Act 1939 (as amended by the Defence act 1978), you are

hereby notified that you are required to place yourself on stand-by for possible compulsory military service in the Iraq Conf1ict.

You may shortly be given orders to depart for Saudi Arabia where you will join either the Third Battalion, Queen’s Own Dessert Cats

or the Third Foot and Mouth Regiment

Due to cutbacks in Government expenditure: in recent years it will be necessary for you to provide yourself with the: following equipment as soon as possible:

Combat jacket

Trousers (preferably khaki) Tin Helmet

Boots (or sturdy trainers)

Gas Mask

A Map of the Combat Zone (the OS 1:25,000 Outdoor Leisure Map of Iraq will do)

A rif1e

Ammunition

Sun Tan Lotion (high factor)

A one way air ticket to Riyadh

If you can afford it, we would like you to buy a tank .Vickers at Barnbow are current1y offering our conscripts 0% finance on all new H-reg Chieftons, while stocks last.

We would like to reassure you that if anything should go wrong you will receive a free burial in the graveyard of your choice, and your widow will be entit1ed to the new War Widows Pension of  £ 1.75 per ca1endar month (subject to means testing).

There may be little time for forma1 military training before you depart. so you are  advised to hire the following war films and try to pick up a few ideas as you watch the Guns of Navarone, Kelly's Heroes, A Bridge Too Far, The Longest Day, Henry V, Blazing Sadd1es, The Sound of Music etc. Alternatively if you cannot get hold of these,  any old John Wayne fi1m wi11 do.

Good Luck,

 

T.R. King

Secretary of State for Defence

 

 

A Bush-Blaire Joint Production

Sponsored by MARS  The Official Snack of World War III

 

Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf: Quotes
``God will roast their stomachs in hell´´
``I think this is very laughable for a Superpower to be so cheap to drop inside Iraq such poor things and they are printed in Kuwait´´
"U.N. conduct a savage campaign of disinformation"
``Be assured, Baghdad is safe, protected. Iraqis are heroes.´´
``We are going to tackle them and going to destroy them´´
``Coalition forces have not crossed the Tigris River and are not approaching Baghdad´´
``What they say about a breakthrough is completely an illusion. They are sending their warplanes to fly very low in order to have vibrations on these sacred places.´´
``They are lying every day. They are lying always, and mainly they are lying to their public opinion´´
``Their tombs will be here in Iraq!´´
``Baghdad is bracing to pummel the invaders´´
``We will push those crooks, those mercenaries back into the swamp´´


Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf: More quotes and soundbits; click on pic


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