D.M.P.4682
MINISTRY OF
DEFENCE
Main
Building, Whitehall, London SW1A 2HB
Telephone
(Direct Dialling) 071.21.9999
(Switchboard)
071.21.89000
NOTIFICATION OF COMPULSORY
ENLISTMENT
Dear Sir,
Under the Emergency Powers Act 1939
(as amended by the Defence act 1978), you are
hereby notified that you are
required to place yourself on stand-by for possible compulsory military service
in the Iraq Conf1ict.
You may shortly be given orders to
depart for Saudi Arabia where you will join either the Third Battalion, Queen’s
Own Dessert Cats
or the Third Foot and Mouth Regiment
Due to cutbacks in Government
expenditure: in recent years it will be necessary for you to provide yourself
with the: following equipment as soon as possible:
Combat jacket
Trousers (preferably khaki) Tin
Helmet
Boots (or sturdy trainers)
Gas Mask
A Map of the Combat Zone (the OS
1:25,000 Outdoor Leisure Map of Iraq will do)
A rif1e
Sun Tan Lotion (high factor)
A one way air ticket to Riyadh
If you can afford it, we would like
you to buy a tank .Vickers at Barnbow are current1y offering our conscripts 0%
finance on all new H-reg Chieftons, while stocks last.
We would like to reassure you that
if anything should go wrong you will receive a free burial in the graveyard of
your choice, and your widow will be entit1ed to the new War Widows Pension
of £ 1.75 per ca1endar month (subject
to means testing).
There may be little time for forma1
military training before you depart. so you are advised to hire the following war films and try to pick up a few
ideas as you watch the Guns of Navarone, Kelly's Heroes, A Bridge Too Far, The
Longest Day, Henry V, Blazing Sadd1es, The Sound of Music etc. Alternatively if
you cannot get hold of these, any old
John Wayne fi1m wi11 do.
Good Luck,
Secretary of State for Defence
A Bush-Blaire
Joint Production
Sponsored by
MARS The Official Snack of World
War III
Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf: Quotes
``God will roast their stomachs in hell´´
``I think this is very laughable for a Superpower to be so cheap to drop inside Iraq such poor things and they are printed in Kuwait´´
"U.N. conduct a savage campaign of disinformation"
``Be assured, Baghdad is safe, protected. Iraqis are heroes.´´
``We are going to tackle them and going to destroy them´´
``Coalition forces have not crossed the Tigris River and are not approaching Baghdad´´
``What they say about a breakthrough is completely an illusion. They are sending their warplanes to fly very low in order to have vibrations on these sacred places.´´
``They are lying every day. They are lying always, and mainly they are lying to their public opinion´´
``Their tombs will be here in Iraq!´´
``Baghdad is bracing to pummel the invaders´´
``We will push those crooks, those mercenaries back into the swamp´´