Newspapers
The spacious home of Judge and Mrs Clayton was the scene of a beautiful wedding last evening when their youngest daughter,
Carol, was joined in holy deadlock by Mr Fox.
Times: The Queen said that the year had been an anus horribilis
The pianist has the fastest fingers ever to set foot on stage.
It isn't going to be any one person's park...I think dogs are wonderful. But they've got to be kept on leashes,
like everyone else.” [From an interview in the Los Angeles Times, March 1, 1985.
The accident occurred at Hillcrest Drive and Santa Barbara Avenue as the dead man was crossing the intersection.
In Sunday's Telegraph Dorothy Harlen writes about a teenage prostitute who refuses
to change her way of life despite the pleas of her mother. For home delivery, phone
448-6200.
Mr Benjamin Porter visited the school yesterday and lectured on "Destructive Pests." A large number were present.
Columbia, Tennessee, which calls itself the largest outdoor mule market in the world, held a mule parade yesterday headed by
the Governor.
The attorney general's office said yesterday that an autopsy performed on the headless body of a man found in Mason failed
to determine the cause of death.
He called on the Kentucky legislature to clarify the state abortion statute to define whether it applied to pregnant women.
"Ivan Gorlen drove his motorcycle into a lamppost 12 years ago and in an instant severed not only the cartilage in his knee but his grip on the gleaming balls that were his life."
(Turns out that Gorlen was a bowler)
Because the garden party was partly in observance of the Year of the Disabled, the Queen and her family moved among the
guests in wheelchairs and on crutches and aluminum walkers.
Moby Dick, the great American classic by Herman Melville will be seen again next week with veteran actor Victor Jory
in the title role.
Joining Wallace on stage were new School Committee-woman Elvira Pixie Palladino and Boston City Councilman Albert (Dapper)
O'Neil, both active opponents of court-ordered busing and Wallace's wife.
Zimbabwe Rhodesian guerrilla leaders demanded Monday that a Commonwealth peace-keeping force of several thousand men -
one with teeth- be sent to enforce a cease-fire in the war against their forces.
A man was arrested on charges of disorderly conduct after he was found nude in a car at a hotel parking lot.
A woman staying at the hotel said a man, wearing only a T-shirt, confronted her near her room.
The woman told Police she chased the man, but he escaped.
The assembly passed and sent to the senate a bill requiring dog owners in New York City to clean up after their pets,
in penalty of $100 fine. The bill also applies to Buffalo.
Recent tests conducted by a zoologist prove that grasshoppers hear with their legs. In all cases the insects hopped when
a tuning fork was sounded nearby. There was no reaction to this stimulus, however, when the insects' legs had been removed.
'The directors of the Starcross Corporation are planning a gala reception to show their appreciation of the outgoing
Chairman of the Bored.
Women tend to get jumpy during their minstrel periods.
Two cycles belonging to girls that had been left leaning against lamp posts were badly damaged.
Although her mother was in it, thieves stole a suitcase containing jewelry and clothing from the car of Mrs. Vanya Koskis
yesterday.
My mother wants to have the dog's tail operated on again, and if it doesn't heal this time, she'll have to be put away.
According to the report, a vehicle apparently ran off Ketch Road and struck the mail box as it attempted to get back on the
roadway.
Two armed men forced their way into the mobile home of Lucille Cornell, taking Cornell and her sister hostage as they filled
a van with antiques and other valuables.
On the floor above him lived a redheaded instructor in physical education, whose muscular calves he admired when they nodded
to each other by the mailbox.
The French government is preparing commercials encouraging the use of condoms that are blunt enough to shock even liberal Americans.
People who use birth control methods that smoke a lot are in danger of having retarded children.
From the Soviet Weekly:
There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 150.000 Soviet Republic
painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.
“Police said the bodies were found at 12:30 a.m. in Snider's bedroom in a two-story house under a freeway in West Los
Angeles that he shared with two other people.”
[from an AP dispatch in The San Diego Union, August 16, 1980]
“Police report that a robber jumped up on the counter of a bar in East Los Angeles the other day and shouted, This is a
holdup,' in both English and Spanish.” [From The Los Angeles Times, April 28, 1981.
Submitted by Egdon T. Margo, Reseda, California]
“However, several witnesses testified that Hudson was alone in his office that night at various times with one or more of
the three women.” [From The (Charleston, S.C.) News and Courier, February 26, 1981]
“Warren M. Christopher left the State Department on an uncharacteristically flamboyant note. His face flushed,
his eyes glistening and waving to welcomers, the normally low-keyed diplomat ...”
[From a report in New York Times, January 22, 1981]
“But [Collingwood Ingram's] achievements range far beyond the garden; in his time he has been an exceptional traveller
and ornithologist, and only this year was writing in Country Life on great tits.” [From The Times, 28 October 1980,
in an item concerning a centenarian.]
“Much of South Florida was plagued by an abnormally dry rainy season this past spring...” [From Today, October 10, 1981,
page 1. Submitted by Deborah J. Rahn, Melbourne Beach, Florida.]
“Kudirat Abiola, 44, was in her car when she was shot at close range by six gunmen Tuesday morning.
She died of her head wounds two hours later, as did her chauffeur.”
[From the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, 7 June 1996, p. 10a. Submitted by Dave O'Brien, Hales Corners, Wisconsin.]
Montreal police don't hesitate to use whatever laws, regulations or persuasion they feel they need to control morality in
the city and prevent it from getting a foothold.
Katherine Innes, as the virgin in this year's production of the Passion Play, has already started her rehearsal.
She is the first blond virgin for a century .
Matson, of Phelps County, is recuperating from wounds inflicted two weeks ago when an unknown assailant fired a shotgun at
his backside. About 800 marijuana plants have been discovered in the same area.
Barton, it is claimed, was driving at a high rate of speed and swerving from side to side. As he approached the crossing,
he started directly towards it and crashed into Miss Palmer's rear end, which was sticking out into the road about a foot.
Luckily she escaped injury and the damage can easily be remedied with a new coat of paint.
Jerry Lee Lewis played the piano with his elbow, feet, and any other part of his body available.
Policeman Bart Grayson was shot through the stomach and Bill Maybury, Indiana Harbor taxi driver, through the hip, while a
guard at the jail was shot in the excitement.
The bits about masturbation are especially well handled.
In a wanton display of chastity, more than 100,000 Southern Baptist youngsters are pledging to abstain
from sex until marriage.
21% of girls left because they had become a mother as did 8% of the boys.
"Mr. Martin Shore was born in Madison, Wisconsin, where he died and later moved to Peoria."
(obituary in a Peoria, Illinois, newspaper)
The most common surgery in America today is total hysterectomy, and operations for women are more common than those for men.
When telephone directors become obsolete, they are usually gathered and sold to waste-paper companies for conversion into
pulp and the manufacture of new paper. They are torn in two lengthwise, then chopped into small bits in a powerful machine.
One in 20 women will be stalking victims at some time in their lives
He came back to Sanford during the Depression to practice law with his father, Hiram,
whose brother and law partner had just died and who needed help
Political insiders call them emotional issues like social security for
Democrats and capital punishment for Republicans.
The pro-seat belt camp maintains that seatbelts would keep students, particularly smaller
children like Marvin, from being thrown from their seats and escaping serious injury .
Vincent Charles, a 14 year Secret Service veteran, said "The White House has always
attracted the mentally ill"
He was a short, fat, semi-balled man.
Estelle Benzinger, 37, suffered the loss of the tip of the third finger on the right hand when she fell from
a moving taxicab Friday night. Police reported that Benzinger was shitting in the back seat of the cab and had been leaning
forward conversing with another passenger in the front seat.
Defendant was charged with carless driving
The bride carried a bouquet of spring blossoms as well as the three bridesmaids.
As a result of the explosion, a number of area widows were shattered
One man was electrocuted when he came in contact with a live wife.
Let us not forget that the American press spares no one in pubic life
The house belongs to Martha Bender who is in a nursing home and has been boarded up for several years.
Mr. and Mrs. Crane Lauder, of Tennessee, are seeing their loved ones here. Dr. C. H. Karston removed Mr. Lauder's tonsils
and they are now with his sister, Mrs. Peyton.
There is a fundamental difference between male and female homosexuality, which is that the former concerns men and the
second women.
Mr. Carver will remain Director of the Company throughout the end of the fiscal year, except in the event of his death,
in which case he will no longer Director of the Company.
He killed the men with his bear hands.
Suzanne Wiley's gladiola garden has been attracting considerable attention of late. She spends many hours each day in the
garden with her large collection of beautiful pants.
As the minister said, "God told me to hold my piece."
He was arrested for evading an officer and for wreckless driving.
While the car is a wreck, its occupants can be truly grateful that they escaped with their lives. The tree is badly scared.
Mexico celebrates Christmas with 'pastorellas,' pageants showing how the
wise men and shepherds overcame obstacles and resisted temptations to visit Jesus at the
manger.
His book, They Walk with Angels, is a copulation of hundreds
of stories related to him by the church' s evangelists.
The Women's Club met Tuesday at the home of Mrs. Layton. Mrs. Knight gave a review of the
book Naked Came I, after which Mrs. Farwell gave a demonstration.
This is the time of year when all the policemen
and firemen hold their balls.
Because of cash restrictions imposed by Wolverhampton Council, the Open Air Theatre Company
has lost some of its members and will stage "Snow White and the Two Dwarfs."
They have suspended hangings in South Africa now.
This evening's meeting of the Clairvoyance Society has been canceled due to unforeseen circumstances.
The macadamia was named for Dr. John MacAdam, an enthusiastic scientist who promoted the nut in its native
Australia, and was dubbed "the perfect nut" by Luther Burbank.
A high-ticket dinner at the exclusive Fox Run Golf Club drew about 50 supporters, including Mel Scarborough,
who at one time lived in Bensonville and also harbored some exotic animals, and his wife, Lorraine.
Police Officer Avery Williamson relied on intuitive judgment when he exposed himself to an armed suspect who had abducted
two children. The gamble paid off when the man surrendered
A delay in deciding whether state employees
would be made monthly, twice a month, or every
two weeks was criticized today.
The bride was wearing a gorgeous old lace gown
that fell to the floor as she came down the aisle.
He hasn't even had his day in court yet, but Simon Wynne has been kicked off the ESU basketball team after being
arrested and accused of driving a parked car while intoxicated.
A bird walk will take place at White Memorial Conservation Center on Saturday, at 2 p.m., at the nature museum entrance.
Leader Steve Fischer of Baldwin has led bird walks lasting up to several days as far away as Costa Rica
Responding to complaints that persons had been seen urinating in the yard, Ordway offered to install an 8-foot-high cedar
fence.
Charles Whiteside had suffered from attacks of pneumonia and jaundice, but he died from arterial sclerosis.
"It will be a miracle if he ever paints again," said his wife Allison.
The Harvard doctors were not sure why sacharin makes rats sick but not humans, but they speculated the reason may simply be
that rats are different from people.-Georgia news story
Throughout the United States the differences between people are mainly the same.
Recent tests conducted by a zoologist prove that grasshoppers hear with their legs. In all cases, the insects hopped when
a tuning fork was sounded nearby. There was no reaction to this stimulus, however, when
the insects' legs had been removed.
Jim Ray Jolliet, Ihnman's attorney, put his hands
over his eyes when the verdict was announced.
He rested the other hand on Ihnman's shoulder.
“The president of the Chicago Federation of Labor was critically ill at Loyola University Medical Center in Maywood after
surgery last week to remove a brain.” [From New North News, 19 May 1984. Submitted by Daniel F. Roberts, Chicago, Illinois.]
“The Baths is a dying institution. Last year, we refunded money to 86 people who died.” [From the Daily News Magazine, March 1987.
Submitted by John D. Cooke, New York City.]
“Eugene Klein, who owns the colt along with his wife, ...” [From the Columbus Dispatch, May 19, 1985.
Submitted by Dorothy Branson, Columbus, Ohio.]
“Two of my descendants came over on the Mayflower in 1620.” [From a correspondent to Percy Ross's column,
The Columbus Dispatch, 9 September 1984. Submitted by Dorothy Branson, Columbus, Ohio.]
“Sir, Some time ago displayed outside St. Paul's Church, Summer Place, London, SW7 was a large poster announcing
`Christ is coming,' and on the railings a notice saying: `Please do not obstruct these gates.' ”
[From The Times, October 26, 1983: a letter to the editor from Mr. Robert Buhler, RA, Chelsea, London.]
“The 47-year-old Governor has received nationwide attention since she was elected Kentucky's first governor who was a
woman last November.” [From an article in The New York Times, 20 May 1984. Submitted by Doris Whalen, Kentfield, California.
]
“...more allegations of improper misconduct...” [From the Lubbock Avalanche-Journal, 3 August 1988.
Submitted by Alfred Strehli, Lubbock.]
“The carcass of a pregnant cow was found at a residence near Plain City with the unborn calf laying alongside.”
[From an article in The Columbia Citizen-Journal, December 29, 1984. Submitted by Joseph B. Grigsby, Marysville, Ohio.]
“We serve a classic Tuscan meal that includes a Florentine terrine made with dick and chicken livers....”
[Sirio Maccioni as quoted in the New York Post, 29 December 1986. Submitted by Frank R. Abate, Old Saybrook, Connecticut.]
“I fought for my country in World War II and would die for it again....”
[From a letter from William H. Koontz of Garden City in The Sun News, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, 27 August 1990.
Submitted by Raymond J. Herbert,, Calabash, North Carolina.]
“Five persons presumed drowned off the California coast by the Coast Guard after their boat broke up in the area of a
treacherous shoal.” [From the Springfield, Mass. Morning Union, 16 March 1984.
Submitted by Ronald R. Jay, Springfield, Massachusetts.]
“A modern-dress version of the virgin birth is inconceivable.” [From MPBN News, May 10, 1985.
Submitted by Charles Bolté, Dresden, Maine.]
“Our manager was held hostage at gun point for six hours in a police auction.” [From the May 31, 1985 issue of Sh'ma.
Submitted by Claire Lee, Cincinnati.]
“After the jury convicted a rapist in circuit court last week, Judge Ted Coleman sentenced him to prison `for the rest of
your natural life with credit for the 3 days already served.' ”
[From Column World, by Bob Morris, in The Orlando Sentinel, November 19, 1986.
Submitted by Richard E. Langford, Deland, Florida.]
“Iranian interpreter Wahid Gordji... is wanted for questioning in some bombings by French police.”
[Caption under a photograph in the Chicago Tribune, 27 July 1987. Submitted by Robert N. Feinstein, Downers Grove, Illinois.]
In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
lhen Lady Caruthers smashed the traditional bottle of champagne against the hull of the giant oil tanker,
she slipped down the run-way, gained speed, rocketed into the water with a gigantic spray, and continued unchecked toward
Prince's Island.
Guilt, vengeance, and bitterness can be emotionally destructive to you and your children. You must get rid of them.
After Governor Baldwin watched the lion perform, he was taken to Main Street and fed 25 pounds of raw meat in front of the
Cross Keys Theater.
Andie MacDowell, until now a leading model, makes her screen debut as the American ward of Lord Greystoke who falls in love
with Tarzan.
Anti-nuclear protestors released live cockroaches inside the White House Friday, and these were arrested when they left
and blocked a security gate.
The driver had a narrow escape, as a broken board penetrated his cabin and just missed his head. This had to be removed
before he could be released.
Great care must always be exercised in tethering horses to trees as they are apt to bark.
The airplane was only a few feet from the ground when it crashed, witnesses said.
This is the third marriage of the groom. He has also been through World War II.
After a Ratafarian had run amok and amputated one of his mother's
and both his father's hands, a policesource described their conditions as serious.
"They will just have to keep their fingers crossed," he said.
The dead man was described as white, aged 40 with an Irish accent.
From now on, police will pick up road-killed animals, not Public Works employees.
Spike Lee says his new movie Malcolm X ends in the townships of South AfrIca, not
the Harlem ballroom where the black nationalist leader was assassinated for artistic reasons.
Smith was one of 10 Dallas businessmen robbed and brutally beaten with aluminum baseball
bats from October to January.
Garden club members heard a talk on bugs and roaches. A large number were present.
An American teenager gives birth every 20 minutes.
Seven pages of the biography are devoted to revelations about Coco Chanel's habit of
cooling champagne by pouring it over a block of ice, her rock crystal collection,
her brown pillows, and her paneled closets.
Japanese tabloids are all atwitter that the wife of Crown Prince Naruhito,
whose years-long search for a bride was exhaustively chronicled, might soon be a father.
The Southeast Georgia Alzheimer's Chapter will present a cabaret, "A Night to Remember."
If you ask the average American for a detailed description of the bed he sleeps in,
he will probably be unable to oblige you. He can precisely visualize his overcoats,
his golf clubs, or his automobile, but his bed and furniture in general are merely
nebulous conveniences in his mind. And the same thing is true of his wife.
President Woodrov took his fiancée Edith Galt to the theater and, rather than
watching the play, spent most of his time entering Mrs. Galt." (instead of entertaining)
(The Washington Post in 1915)
Old Sedberghians are invited to a weekend reunion at the school.
We would like to extend a particularly warm invitation to all of you who left Sedbergh and your wives.
He was arrested Saturday, hours after the most recent victim's body was discovered and questioned for 12 hours.
Many people have no respect for the American flag. I have seen them hanging from windows, dirty and sometimes torn.
The marriage of Miss Frieda van Amburg and Willie Branton, which was announced in this paper a few weeks ago, was a mistake
which we wish to correct.
An interview with Mary Matalin, the former deputy manager of the Bush campaign, quoted her incorrectly on the talk show
host Rush Limbaugh. She said he was "sui generis," not "sweet, generous."
The Pacific Rim column in yesterday's Business/ Extra section should have read that "Fine Boys is a
leading Japanese fashion magazine for guys," not gays. The Chronicle regrets the editing error .
Rape suspect Fred A. Zaroff told state police September 16 that he had sex with a 25-year-old woman, but it was "not a rape."
A story in Monday's Times incorrectly said that Zaroff told troopers sex with the woman was "not that great."
Because of a telephone transcription error, an article yesterday about Mary Allison Graves, a lawyer, included an erroneous
description. The first sentence should have begun, "Attorney Mary Allison Graves," not "A tiny Mary Allison graves." Ms. ,
Graves is 5 foot 7
Our report on Monday said that up to 6 million had died in a gun battle in Sri Lanka. It should have read
up to 6 militants died in a gun battle.
We would like to point out that the previous writer on the subject, who was referred to as Miss Turner was in fact Miss
Turner, not Mrs. Davis as we stated last week.'
The article about the Ladies' Craft Club should have stated that Mrs. Brown and Mrs. Smith have talks on "smocking and rugs",
not "smoking and drugs", as previously reported.
There was a typo in lawyer Griswold's ad. His logo name is: "Your case is no stronger than your attorney, not stranger."
Burlington County Commissioner Bert Greenough has 100 percent support from his family, not 10 percent, as was stated in
last week's article on Greenough's announcement to seek re-election.
The "Candidates on Television" listing yesterday misspelled the name of the vice president in some editions.
It is Quayle, not Quale. The Tmise regrets the error.
CORRECTIONS: An article in The Living Section on Wednesday about decorative cooking incorrectly described a presentation
of Muscovy duck by Michel Fitoussi, a New York chef. In preparing it, Mr. Fitoussi uses a duck that has been killed.
A printing error last week caused confusion. The price for this smartly modemized semi-detached horse is $53,000.
Our newspaper carried the notice last week that Mr. Oscar Hoffnagle is a defective on the police force.
This was a typographical error. Mr. Hoffnagle is, of course, a detective on the police farce.
The sermon at the Presbyterian Church this coming Sunday will be "There Are No Sects in Heaven." The subject was incorrectly
printed in yesterday's edition as "There Is No Sex in Heaven."
In criticizing the political views of Patrick Buchanan, William Bennett said, "It's a real us-and-them kind of thing," not,
as we reported, "It's a real S&M kind of thing."
It was incorrectly reported last Friday that today is T-shirt Appreciation Day. In fact, it is actually Teacher Appreciation
Day.
We apologize here to Neil Chemick, who has joined the staff of ChemSystems, based in Hong Kong, as an "executive consultant,"
not as an expenslve consultant, as we reported .
There was a mistake in an item sent in two weeks ago which stated that Ed Bumham entertained a party at crap shooting.
It should have been trap shooting.
Miss Rumson has been appointed supervisor of Work Area Six, not (as stated in our August issue) Work Area Sex.
We apologize to our readers who received, through an unfortunate computer error, the chest measurements of members of the
Female Wrestlers Association instead of the figures on the sales of soybeans to foreign countries.
Our article about Jewish burial customs contained an error: Moumers' clothing is rent that is, torn, not rented.
The marriage of Miss Freda van Amburg and Willie Branton, which was announced in this paper a few weeks ago, was a mistake
we wish to correct.
An item in Thursday's Nation Digest about Massachusetts. budget crisis made reference to new taxes that will help put
Massachusetts "back in the African-American." The item should have said "back in the black.'
In Saturday's Enterprise an article on the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints-the Mormons-incorrectly said that
1.06 million members of the church live in Utah, "a state in which 70 percent take LSD" The article should have read
"a state which is 70 percent LDS (Latter- Day Saints).'
In one edition of today's Food Section, an inaccurate number of jalapeno peppers was given for Jeanette Crowley's
Southwestern chicken salad recipe. The recipe should call for two, not 21, jalapeno peppers.
Apology: I originally wrote. "Woodrow Wilson's wife grazed sheep on the front lawn of the White House."
I'm sorry, typesetting inadvertently left out the word sheep.
CLARIFICATION. The phrase "Dummy Head," which was accidentally printed beneath a photograph in Thursday's Clarion-Dispatch,
was intended as a typographical notation for use in the production process. It was not intended to describe in any way
the subject of the photograph.
Due to a telephonic error in transmission we stated yesterday that Mr. Roger Cranwell will be knighted next month.
In fact, he will be 90 next month.
In Thursday's editorial on Assembly District 24, the word treatment was left out of a sentence about candidate Ken Baker.
It should have said that Baker "cautiously supports substance-abuse treatment in prisons.
Sister Mary's "bust clinic" referred to last month was, of course, a "busy clinic."
CORECTION: In an article run June 28 on the Bailey College commencement speaker Peace Corps Director Mariette Donnelly,
it was reported that she urged graduates to actively engage in "global riotism." Due to a computer error, this was a
misquote. It should have read that Donnelly urged graduates to engage in "global patriotism.
Playboy Enterprises estimates that removing ornamental pants from its offices will save $271000 a year .
It is said that there are more golf curses per square mile in North Carolina than anywhere else in the world.
The award, $5,000 and a plague, is presented each year to a scientist or engineer for scientific achievement and for
contributions to the advancement of knowledge.
Tomorrow we may expect strong northwest winds reaching a gal in exposed places.
Ever since the collapse of the Soviet Union there has been a considerable decline in the value of the rubble.
The third year was a chance for Canton's eighth-grader Kurt Beiner, as he won the Middle School's spelling bee after
correctly spelling "desicrate."
Tom Mix and his wonder horse, Tony, are featured. In some
stunts, Tom shows almost human intelligence
The witness claimed that he observed sex taking place between
two parked cars.
One victim was taken to Swedish Memorial Hospital. He suffered
at least two broken legs.
Governor Miller plans to ask lawmakers to boost funding to state
colleges and universities by $259 million. He also wants to expand the :$158 million lottery-funded kindergarten
program by $42 to eliminate 10,000 children on the waiting list.
Beginning this semester, references to women in any of the student Association's writing have been discontinued.
Instead, females will be referred to in a new, improved, non-sexist term: "womyn."
"The idea is to take the 'men' out of 'women,' " explained Central Council chairperson Jeffrey Banks.
We suggest that senior citizens buy automobiles with power steering, automatic transmission, and power brakes and
install special mirrors to extend their view if they have problems turning their heads 360 de
grees.
Woody is the father of eight children and nine grandchildren.
Happy Buc fans ate 41,000 hot dogs at a recent double header
drawing 32,346 fans. Also 27,000 bags of peanuts, 26,000 ice cream bars, 30,000 soft drinks, 18,000 score cards,
and 7,500 cushions.
At the Knights of Columbus dinner they will serve the same fish
as last year.
Winners at the card party were Miss Wilma Schmidt, a turkey,
and Mrs. Ethel Riggs, a chicken.
Some 40 percent of female gas station employees in Metro De
troit are women, up from almost 9 a year ago.
Please put your trash inside the dumpsters. Adults are throwing
cans, bottles, and trash down as well as children
John Masten, the celebrated singer, was in an automobile accident last week. We are happy to state that he was able to appear the
following evening in four pieces.
An anonymous female caller reported that a parked car had
earlier passed her going lOO miles per hour.
This afternoon, firemen battled a skyscraper fire in New York. It was con
fined to the upper floor, where smoke bellowed from the windows.
Ancestors of Andrew Jackson will hold their biennial reunion in Nashville this weekend
At 15 Celsius, it was feared that people could not be stupid enough to attend these winter games in such bitter cold.
But once again Calgarians have proven the experts wrong.
La Leche League will discuss breast feeding at two meetings- Tuesday in the West Side and Thursday in the East Side.
Citizens of Santa Barbara County are faced
with a tax rise. Most of the money raised
would be used for five foot policemen.
The summary of information contains totals of the number of students broken down by sex, marital status and age.
Gene Autry is better after being kicked by a horse.
One can peek in most any evening on this home-loving young actress and find her cuddled up in an easy chair with a good boob
before a crackling log fire.
“We consider pornography to be a public problem, and we feel it is an issue that demands a second look.”
[From a speech by President Ronald Reagan on 21 May 1984. Submitted by John Paul Arnerich, Los Angeles.]
“The truck now has over 191,000 miles on it and has never had a major problem until recently.
The timing gear broke in the front yard after coming home from the orthodontist.”
[From the Letters column, Friends, March 1988. Submitted by Raymond Spong, Niantic, Connecticut.]
Stanley Kubrick's absence will certainly be missed at the film's premiere.
“A woman gave birth to two of her triplets a month after delivering the third, a rare occurrence, physicians said Thursday.”
[From The Philadelphia Inquirer, 4 May 1988. Submitted by Stephen R. LaCheen, Philadelphia.]
Sheriff Nance said the leopard had been spotted.
“(The cyclist) hopes to survive the 2,020-mile race through the French countryside and mountains to ride down Paris'
eloquent avenue, Champs Elysées.” [From the Los Angeles Times, 4 July 1988. Submitted by John Paul Arnerich, Los Angeles.]
“... and although three engines and 16 firefighters were called to the scene there were no injuries.”
[From The Peninsula Times Tribune, Palo Alto, 2 April 1990. Submitted by Meryl Bach, Atherton, California.]
“The suit was filed by two men and a woman who said it was unfair and illegal to allow women in skirts into the
Florentine Gardens nightclub for free on certain nights while forcing men and women without skirts to pay a cover charge.”
[From the Los Angeles Times, 15 November 1990:B-2.]
“The main auditorium of the Midland Center for the Arts proved the effectiveness of its acoustical design as the phrases
of Feltsman traveled to the back rows where your reviewer sat, totally intact.”
[From the Midland Daily News, 15 November 1990. Submitted by Lawrence H. Brown, Midland, Michigan.]
“8:00 PM BET FRANK'S PLACE The Chez is sued for serving a patron too many drinks after he is killed in a car accident.”
[From “TV Week,” The Washington Post, 12-18 May 1991. Submitted by Anna Warner, Herndon, Virginia.]
“An engine fell off a commuter airplane before it crashed into a farm field last week, killing all 14 people aboard,
investigators said Tuesday. It wasn't clear whether that caused the crash or was just another sign the plane was in trouble.
” [From the San Bernardino Sun, 18 September 1991. Submitted by John Biddle Lawrence, San Bernardino, California.]
“While he was alive, Jack Benny entertained millions.” [From Entertainment Tonight, TV program, 5 November 1990.
Submitted by Emilio Benal Labrada, Falls Church, Virginia.]
“Born in Minden, Neb., in 1886, she was one of five children of a Congregational minister, who also ran a grain elevator,
and his wife.” [From the Northglen-Thornton Sentinel, 3 July 1986. Submitted by Hugo G. Rodeck, Northglenn, Colorado.]
“There are no national temperatures today due to transmission difficulties.” [From the St. Petersburg Evening Independent.]
“...the underground parking garage will probably never see the light of day.”
[From University of Toronto Magazine, Summer 1990. Submitted by Gordon B. Thompson, Etobicoke, Ontario.]
“Volunteers must take 48 hours of sexual assault training.” [From the San Bernardino Sun, 26 September 1992.
Submitted by J.B. Lawrence, Van Nuys.]
“Here we have the classic cart-and-horse situation,' [Lawrence Corey, professor of medicine at the University of
Washington School of Medicine said. `Which came first?' ” [From The Washington Post, 4 July 1990:A3.
Submitted by Fox, Alexandria, Virginia.]
“A defense lawyer in Wednesday's court case against three people for roughing up a Park Ranger July 4 was heard to say,
`If the hand were on the other foot....' ” [From The Cape Codder, 27 July 1990.
Submitted by Edward T. Howard, Delray Beach, Florida.]
“Make your homecoming a memorial one.” [From the South Dakota State College Eastern. Submitted by Jim Swanson, Madison,
South Dakota.]
“A father who underwent a sex change no longer has to wear male clothes to visit her son.”
[From The (Montreal) Gazette, n.d. Submitted by Margie Golick, Montreal.]
“One of nine women will get breast cancer as well as many men.”
[From the Los Angeles Times, 30 August 1992, page E7. Submitted by Sylvia Bursztyn, Van Nuys.]
All but a few employees--including one who confessed, and later hung himself in jail--were soon set free.”
[From The New York Times, 15 September 1991. Submitted by John Salz, Ross, California.]
“Jim Ed Rhodes attained something most people never do, he achieved his dream. He died Thursday, December 14, 1995,
at the age of 86.” [From the Corpus Christi Caller-Times, 19 December 1995. Submitted by A.W. Edwards, Corpus Christi.]
To celebrate at feasts, the inhabitants of old England sometimes cut the head off the biggest bore and carried it around
on a platter.
Floods from the Mississippi may be prevented by putting big dames in the river.
For Lederer, teaching and writing are all a seamless hole
During peek season the beach is covered with hundreds of bikini-clad beauties.
The police said Barth's 1981 Toyota traveled down the shoulder for almost 1,000 feet and then hit a utility pole going
about 45 miles an hour.
The patient was referred to a psychiatrist with a severe emotional problem.
A former scout leader will plead guilty to two counts of sexually assaulting two boys in a New Hampshire court.
Found guilty on eight counts, Duchess County Judge Robert F. Howard sentenced Groman to six months in prison.
She died in the home in which she was born at the age of 88.
A 30-year-old St. Petersburg man was found murdered by his parents in his home late Saturday.
Pele soaked an ankle he injured in an ice bucket.
Washed from a layer of mudstone estimated to be more than 3 million years old, a young American paleo anthropologist has
found several leg bones and a skull fragment.
Amy Carter was among more than 100 Americans returning from a 10-day tour of the Soviet Union during the weekend.
The judge sentenced the killer to die in the electric chair for the second time.
Farmhand Joe Mobbs hoists a cow injured while giving birth to its feet.
Breaking into the window of the girls' dormitory, the dean of men surprised 10 members of the football team
Here are some suggestions for handling obscene phone calls from New England phone Company.
When a small boy, a girl is of little interest.
Gabriel Pincus is the proud possessor of a brand new Chevrolet sedan and also a new wife, having traded in the old one,
for which he received a liberal allowance.
If Ms. Hunter and Ms. Brown agree to relinquish ownership of the dogs, they will be euthanized.
Air piracy charges were filed Sunday against a man who used grenades to hijack a Russian airliner and his wife.
Females should have the same athletic opportunities as males: it is an almost universal medical opinion that there is no
sport more dangerous to a girl than a boy.
Asphalt tennis courts are hard on the soles of the feet and balls.
Museum staffer Jill Dorman checks out 65 million year-old eggs.
Cases of Lyme disease, which is transmitted by deer-carrying ticks, are on the rise.
The juror never was asked if he had been molested by either defense or prosecution attorneys.
Bernard Constantino pleaded guilty to charges of distributing marijuana Wednesday in front of Judge Hart.
The Collier County sheriff's office has announced that one of its dog deputies has been named number one dog deputy for
capturing a kidnap suspect after holding a female hostage for several hours.
Grodskins was arrested for illegal consumption of alcohol by the sheriff's department on Sunday.
Ms. Innes testified that the defendant was told by a child abuse specialist that her daughter was more than likely being
sexually abused in Belknap County Superior Court.
"Former hostage Terry Waite talks about five years of confinement in Beirut with Barbara Waiters in a specially expanded
segment of 20/20 at 10 on Channel 5."
"The diving and amateur sports community was in shock Thursday following disclosure by diver Greg Louganis,
who speaks freely of his contracting AIDS in a 20/20 interview with Barbara Waiters to be broadcast by ABC tonight."
Author Shere Hite wrote that 75 percent of women married more than five years reported having affairs in response
to her questionnaire.
Smith smashed a towering shot that hit a popcorn vendor on the fly.
"There will be a week-long conference for men who experienced incest with speaker Dr. Jarvis at Ranchero Capistrano."
“I came within a hare's breath of running for Congress. ... ” [From an interview in the Beaumont Enterprise, March 25, 1985.
Submitted by Winfred S. Emmons, Beaumont, Texas.]
We treated between 70 and 71 people.” [Mary Zeigler, assistant director of nursing at Coshocton County Memorial Hospital,
quoted in The Columbus Dispatch 27 March 1983. Submitted by Dorothy Brauson, Columbus, Ohio.]
The Cherokee Nation's main push is health prevention and health promotion.”
[A quote from the newly appointed director of Health and Human Services, appearing in Cherokee Advocate, March 1984.
Submitted by Richard Mayo, Sallisaw, Oklahoma.]
Two-dimensional photographs don't do this car justice.
Fifty-five percent of young people looking for their first jobs are unemployed.
Serious crime in the county dipped slightly in the first half of the year, but rape, robbery, theft, and homicides posted increases.
New drugs may contain AIDS, but not all can afford them.
Thanks to doctors, each generation is living longer than the one before it. Proof of this is the many more grandparents we
see alive today as compared with great-grandparents.
Princess Anne is the daughter of Queen Elizabeth II and a noted equestrian performer .
Officials attend Port Charlotte's Betty Barnstead after breaking her arm in yesterday's judo competition.
It is estimated that one out of every 100 women between the ages of 12 and 25 are anorectic, one out of seven are bulimic, and between 5 and 10% are male.
Columbia paper:
The diving school was barely keeping its head above water.
She was a diva of such enormous talent that, after hearing her perform, there was seldom a dry seat in the house.
“And as for that better mousetrap, the X-terminator ($1) is humane--the mouse is trapped, not killed--and can be reused.”
[From the Philadelphia Inquirer, 24 January 1990. Submitted by Berthold W. Levy, Melrose park, Pennsylvania.]
Black Panther leader Huey Newton said yesterday he will testify at his trial
on charges of killing a prostitute against his lawyer's advice.
“Visitors in Burlington's City Hall may be in for a surprise when they want to go to the public bathrooms on the first
floor. The bathrooms have been closed to the public during the day because of repeated abuse of them by a small group of
vandals. ... The bathrooms will be open for public meetings, such as the aldermen, Planning Commission and Finance Board.”
[From the Burlington (Vermont) Free Press, March, 1984. Submitted by Alain Guilloton, New York City.]
Colorado's wildlife officers are investigating the
second death of a bull moose.
We have made the commitment to our readers to minimize "jumps," those stories that continue from one page to another.
Readers have told newspapers loud and often that they do not like such "jumps," and most stories will fit on the page
they begin.-See CHANGE, page A-2.
An animal-rights group that hopes to change Americans' meateating ways scheduled a meeting here today at the
Black Angus steak
house.
Smith was one of ten Dallas businessmen robbed and brutally
beaten with aluminum baseball bats from October to January.
The relationship between the two dormitory roommates had soured recently when the murder victim,
stabbed 45 times, declared she would room with someone else next year.
The Reverend Jeremy Sonnenfeld wants to visit many ministers,
lay people in the 27 conference countries.
“Pop megastar Michael Jackson ... insisted he had `very little' plastic surgery during a live television interview with
Oprah Winfrey on Wednesday.” [From an AP story in the Pocono Record (Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania), 11 February 1993.
Submitted by Alfred W. Munson, Stroudsburg.]
“Built of sandstone bricks and 25ft tall, Fuller's remains were placed beneath the floor of this mausoleum on his death
in 1834.” [From The Independent, 12 December 1995, Section Two. Submitted by Tony Hall, Chearsley, Buckinghamshire.]
“[the tenor] brings the opera to its climax in his final suicide.”
[From a review of Handel's Tamerlano in the July 1987 issue of Stereo Review.
Submitted by David L. Miles, Charlevoix, Michigan.]
“...the party consisted of Beckett, Dame Peggy Ashcroft, Harold Pinter, and the late Alan Webb.”
[from The Times Diary, 12 May 1988, Simon Callow., ]
“I do not need a spelling checker, but I have found it extremeely useful... “
[From an article by Laurence Urdang in VERBATIM, XV,1. Submitted by Peggy Riley, Livermore, California, et al.]
“Afterwards, the Bishop walked among the crowds, eating their picnic lunches.” [From the Southwark (England) News, July 1987.
Submitted by John Ferguson, Birmingham.]
“An owner of a Greenwich Village barbershop survived being shot in the neck as he slept by a gunman who broke into his house....
” [From The New York Times, 10 September 1987. Submitted by John S. Hogg, Hamilton, New York.]
Taking new technology into unexplored realsm of the earth is a once in a lifetime opportunity that I hope to repeat many
times.” [From Underwater USA, July 1988. Submitted by Rey Barry, Charlottesville, Virginia.]
“An investigation found the employee occasionally slept on duty for almost five years.’ [From the York (Pennsylvania)
Daily Record, 12 January 1987. Submitted by Margery H. Freas, York.]
“Asked about social needs, Burdette said, `Our safety net has a lot of holes in it.' ’ [From the Parkersburg (West Virginia)
News, 30 October 1986. Submitted by Glade Little, Parkersburg.]
“A rock slide on Sunday crushed a car in Glacier National Park, killing a Japanese driver who was driving and
injuring his sister.” [From The New York Times, 25 June 1996. Submitted by Giulio J. D'Angio, Swarthmore, Pennsylvania.]
“Kathy Miller of Scottsdale, Ariz., and her mother will discuss how the young teenager recovered after being handicapped
in an accident during a luncheon sponsored by Bender's Christian Supplies.” [From the Buffalo Pennysaver & Community News.]
On an amusement park ride in Saudi Arabia: For your safety this game is not allowed for those who
suffer from hearts, diabetics, nerves, high pressure, and pregnants. As any preacher or rabbit can tell you, moral messages are better conveyed by subtle stories...”
[From Story Art, January, February, March, 1984.]
In the window of a Barcelona travel agency: Go away.
“Our daughter and her husband are angry with us and I am hurt. My husband is on their side. He says he is willing to sin
with the grandkids and that I am selfish. What do you think?” [From the Kennebec Journal, Augusta, December 17, 1983, p. 8]
“A person shall not be treated as suffering from physical disablement such that he is either unable to walk or
virtually unable to do so if he is not unable or virtually unable to walk with a prosthesis or an artificial aid which
he habitually wears or uses or if he would not be unable or virtually unable to walk if he habitually wore or used a
prosthesis or an artificial aid which is suitable in his case.” [From a (U.K.) Department of Health and Social
Services explanation regarding mobility allowances for the disabled, as reported in a letter in The Daily Telegraph,
30 October 1983. Submitted by Edward G. Taylor, Tangier, Morocco.]
“3 year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experienced preferred.” [From The DeLand-Sun News, 23 August 1984.
Submitted by Richard E. Langford, DeLand, Florida.]
For many years I have seen her name championed by other writers in lists of `neglected authors': now I know why.”
[From book catalog, A Common Reader, Spring 1993, page 65. Submitted by J.B. Lawrence, San Bernardino.]
“The Southeastern Georgia Alzheimer's Chapter presents a dinner cabaret, `A Night to Remember'...”
[Submitted by M. Cornog and T. Perper, Philadelphia.]
“Palm Desert employees charge that their manager created an atmosphere of hatred and tolerance.”
[From the San Bernardino Sun, 21 December 1992. Submitted by J.B. Lawrence, San Bernardino.]
“The sound of snoring is due to vibration of the soft palate and the vulva at the back of the throat.”
[From the Evening Times Globe of St. John, N.B., 1 October 1993. Submitted by Jon Simpson, Quispamsis, N.B.]
“School Threatened: A new alternative school for young car thieves, runaways and gang members is already in danger of closing for lack of funds B3”
[From “Inside Today's Valley Edition” of The Los Angeles Times, 6 June 1992.
Submitted by Robert Goldfarb, Studio City, California.]
“But each dish is more elaborate than the next...”
[From a restaurant review by S. Irene Virbila in the Los Angeles Times Magazine, 9 July 1995, p. 26.
Submitted by D. Wayne Doolen, North Hollywood.]
“There isn't room to list them all, except it must be noted that they included the Right to Die Society apologizing for
accidentally calling itself the Right to Life Society in a previous letter, and the Right to Life Society objecting to the
theft of its name.” [From The Toronto Star, 6 February 1993. Submitted by Elisabeth M. Day, Oakville, Ontario.]
“The truth is that the SAS consists of...men who have fought and died in the western desert, in Borneo, Malaya...”
[From an article by Andy McNab in The Sunday Times, 13 November 1994. Submitted by Rosemary Woolner, Gerrards Cross,
Buckinghamshire.]
One example is youth in Asia. We have got the choice of letting a person live on a machine or pulling the plug.
What's right?
The bride was wearing an old lace gown that fell to the floor as she came down the aisle.
Migraines strike twice as many women as do men.
The sewer expansion project is nearing completion, but city officials are holding their breath until it is officially finished.
The ladies of the county medical society auxiliary plan to publish a cookbook. Part of the money will go to the Samaritan Hospital to purchase a stomach pump.
His death leaves a void in the community which will be hard to replace.
The ball struck him on the right temple and knocked him cold. He was taken to Sacred Heart Hospital where X-rays of his head
showed nothing.
The judge dismissed suits filed against a priest accused of sexually molesting four altar boys, the Orlando Diocese,
and its bishop.
A federal grand jury has accused three women identified by the IRS as topless go-go dancers of concealing their assets.
After years of being lost under a pile of dust, Chester D. Thatcher III found all the old records of the Bangor Lions Club
at the Bangor House.
Bound, gagged, and trussed up nude in a denim bag with plugs in her ears and tape over her eyes, Cleveland teacher
Brenda P. Noonan told yesterday how she was kidnapped to Florida without knowing where she was going or why.
Some sources said shortly after his death Mao Tse-tung had expressed a wish that his body be cremated.
Two cars were reported stolen by the Groveton police yesterday.
In 1979, he bought majority control of the company's stock, along with his mother.
Last week Toronto policemen buried one of their own-a 22-year-old constable shot with his own revolver in a solemn display
of police solidarity rarely seen in Canada.
The Mormon Church has no doctrinal position on when life begins but takes a hard line against abortions performed for reasons
other than to save the life of the mother or in cases of rape and incest after counseling with a bishop.
Locked in a vault for 50 years, the owner of the jewels has decided to sell them.
With the exception of victimless crimes (which need not concern us here), every single crime committed in this nation of
ours involves a victim.
The plane apparently flew directly into the hill
side and was heavily demolished.
A purple lady's bicycle was missing from Serendipity Lane recently.
Chairman Billings asked Board members to muster support from parent-teacher groups to support the governor's task force
on driving while intoxicated.
They sat on the red velvet sofa and the uphostered rocker with carve gooseneck arms that belonged to his mother
Anna Anderson requested that she be cremated before her death.
She danced every night with the captain of the boat in high-heeled shoes.
The blaze was extinguished before any damage was done by the local fire department.
Most of the nation's corporate honchos are white Protestant males, with three kids who have been married to the same
stay-at-home woman for 20 years.
Gregory Hartell, Dover Township, is awarded a Purple Heart Medal 41 years after he was injured in the Korean War by George
Best, commissioner of the State Veterans Affairs Office.
On last Saturday, while driving down East Vance Street, a tree limb fell to the ground along with live wires.
American Catholic theologians will have to wait and see the exact wording of a French document permitting the use of
condoms before engaging in theological debate.
They saw a car sitting on top of a three-foot stone wall up against a tree with a lady in it.
Three tenements on Spring Street were seriously damaged when a man ignited a gas tank that had
been removed from a car with his cigarette lighter .
The meetings held on Monday and yesterday included presentations by a priest who is a psychiatrist specializing in the
diagnosis of sexual disorders among other experts.
He provided background information about the life of a man who gained national attention after being mutilated by his wife
for the NBC news program Now with Tom Brokaw.
After three days of lying in state in Montreal and Quebec, the high and mighty came to Quebec for Levesque's state funeral
at Notre Dame Cathedral.
Sponsored by the Winthrop House, the Beaux Arts Trio will perform Zemlinsky's Trio in D minor, op. 3, Schubert's Trio in
E-flat Minor, op. 100, and a work to be announced by Mozart at 8 EM. in Sanders Theatre.
Children on school buses weighing less than 10,000 pounds must be restrained.
Do not sweep an area where there have been rodents with a broom.
A Grand Rapids neighborhood is getting some help in fighting crime and protecting children from the city commission.
Divorce has become so common that we take it with a grain assault.
Keyes... said she sees a need for the police department, but feels the three officers the city had (reduced from five)
is too many and 1½ would be more sufficient.” [From a post Election Day article in the World, Coos Bay, Oregon.
Submitted by D.R. Miller, Coos Bay, Oregon.]
He hasn't even had his day in court yet, but Simon Wynne has been kicked off the ESU basketball team after being
arrested and accused of driving a parked car while intoxicated.
Coach Mike Kyzyzewski asked some of his players over to the house for dinner one day last spring, then
barbecued himself.
In a review of Shakespeare's " A Midsummer Night's Dream": The best I have ever seen, with David Waller's virile
Bottom particularly splendid.
The cooking column is now being written by Karen Whatley, who replaces the late and lamentable Georgia Reardon.
The committee compromised six dedicated people who really knew how to do their jobs.
Careful, concise, sensitive, convicted, Martin is an able and committed pastor .
Members of the Groveton Woman's Club gave the speaker a standing ovulation.
The driver of the car, Jennifer Thomas, was charged by police with drinking while intoxicated.
Melissa P. Brophy, 48, and a parked car driven by Paul Stebbins were involved in an accident Saturday at 3:38 p.m.
Submitted by Pamela Jones, Sepulveda, California.]
the Travel section of a Minneapolis newspaper
Bush, himself a former director of the CIA, said Gates would not routinely attend Cabinet
meetings but would take part in sessions where intelligence was necessary for making
decisions.
“Friday night, shots were fired at two officers in Portsmouth, Va., more than 100 miles away....”
[From the Los Angeles Times, June 2, 1984, Part 1,3. Submitted by Lani Oliveira, Whittier, California.]
ERROR RECTIFICATIONS
Mr. Oscar Hoffnagle is a defective on the police force. This was a typographical error. Mr. Hoffnagle is, of course,
a detective on the police farce."
[From The New York Times, April 25, 1981, p. 25. Submitted by James J. Storrow, Jr., New York City]
The main jail, near West Palm Beach, houses juveniles charged as
adults and women.
Police are looking for marijuana dealers in the city in a joint operation. Top Officials say they needed this joint
for a long time
submitted by Kanishka Dasgupta
The underground parking garage will never see the light of day.