The Planescrape Quote Page

        Planescrape is the oldest of the campaigns Yogi has DMed.  It started in very late 1996, and of that group, there is still one player who has been in it that entire time, however, many of the other players have been around for a long time.  There are far more stories and quotes about this game that even a whole website can properly tell, but here are the quotes I've kept recently (others are unfortunately lost to the tides of time).  If you played in this campaign, and remember more, please send them to me.  Thanks all, especially to Lanse and Marie, for writting these down for me.

"Zot! The pointy end goes in the other man!"
- Hop, after going from a low level famiiliar to a mid level fighter in a very short time

- Lanse

 "Ribbitate down?"
- Hop

 "Awww, stick it in your ear!"
- Chorus of players upon hearing how the Malgrost took a host

 "Somehow, sticking their god in my ear seems like the sort of thing I should ask my god about first."
- Mara

 "So, it's as the worm turns, huh?"
- Tom, promping Yogi to prepare the pun die

 "Hop gives Mara the ... toe."
- Lanse

 "Their language sounds like a mixture of Klingon and Swahili."
- Yogi, describing the language of the Anu

 "He does this through ribbit and pantomime. I really don't want to deal with it."
- Lanse

"He's an upstanding thief!"  "Actually, he's getting stood up right now."
- Mara (about Seglan), then Robin's barbarian

"Buzzy the Hummingbird, with a rapier."
- Dan, describing Seglan with Haste

"I'm just short by one!"  "You're a dwarf, so of course you're short."
- Thomas (on Stumpy's attack roll), then Yogi

"I've got an eyebrow singed.  Cleric!!!"
- Seglan

- the gleeful shout of Oshi, for which Seglan was irritated by the group for sessions

"It's astrally delicious!"
- Thomas, after seeing fresh Githyanki meat at the Great Bazzar, to the tune of a certain breakfast cereal jingle

"I've been waiting for this for a longgggg time."
- Seglan, noting that Mara was struck mute

"Wait a minute!  I've got a weasel!"
- Burnie, the Gnome Illusionist, at a time where it really didn't matter

"I kill bards and eat them for dinner!"  "So you're saying you'll eat me?!?"
- Seglan, then Oshi, the bard who is infatuated with him

"You can't parry a feather."
- Seglan, while Oshi was attacking him with one

"I've had bad experiences with weasel-type creatures."
- I have no idea who said it, but it was funny at the time :)

"You have to give us time to get used to 3E characters."  "Yeah!  I have to figure out how to go from 'Rope Use' to 'Use Rope'."
- Dave (player of Burnie), then Dan (player of Seglan)

"I don't know, you can name your own weasel!"
- Yogi, exasperated, when Dave asked him the name of his characters familiar

"I have to stop laughing and drooling before I can write these down!"
- Marie, while keeping quotes

"Hey, why aren't you lying prone on the ceiling?"
- Robin, asking why the innate spider climber is hiding the way he is

"Think outside the chest."
- Thomas

"You missed!"
- Stumpy, when he didn't get hit by the mage's lightning bolt because he fell into a spiked pit trap while charging

"A barbarian rage type charge is always a wonderful thing to behold ... from behind."
- Burnie, the Gnome Illusionist

"He's a Rake-ish looking elf, and like a rake, will smack you in the face if you step on him."
- Dan, describing Seglan

"I thought we left her... here.  I'm suddenly a small dwarf named Stan."
- Dan for Seglan, upon hearing that the 'Sir Robin's Minstral" type character that loves him was there

"He will display his six weasels to you!"
- Yogi, finding the results of Bernie's weasel familiar sharing Bernie's 'Mirror Image' spell

"We are going to lead an expedition into the bowels of the deepest evil of the kitchen."
- Seglan, explaining the situation to the new recruits

"The rearguard is doing just that job; watching Mara's rear."
- Yogi

"George, Smitty, Elrond..."  "ELROND?!?"  "His parents were mad at him."
- Stumpy, explaining to everyone else about one of his dwarven followers.

"We are SO screwed."
- Dan, repeatedly, anytime Yogi opposes the players with anything challenging

"Hop goes over to Mara and bleeds pointedly."
- Lanse

"Hop ribbits angrily in Elvish!"
- Lanse, realizing Hop knows Elvish for the first time

"It's just me; I'm not being followed by the angry, clanking refridgerators of death."
- Dan, for Seglan, regarding Stumpy's battlerager followers

" a greased wemic."
- Lance, regarding how to get Tokkon (a wemic) through the small passageway

"They portrayed the dragons as mearly gargantuan, when they were actually colossal!"
- David, spouting his critique of the Dungeons and Dragons movie, while the rest of us were ripping it to the seams.

"Protection from elephants?!?"
- Seglan, misreading a scroll of protection from elementals

"Um... I get popcorn?"
- Dan, saying what Seglan does when he sees the army of 80 battleragers attacking a lone opposing Vrock

"Remind me to put a spitoon by that archway..."
- Mara, after realizing the portal out of her bar is activated by spitting

"He's got the body of Conan the Librarian."
- Yogi

"Are we in South Central Forgotten Realms?"
- Thomas, mocking the accent Yogi used for an NPC

"You see an old and withered rider.  He looks like he once starred on Ponderosa."
- Yogi

"We are friends of his father, and SHE wants to meet him."
- Mara, trying to explain the group's mission

"Half Dragon Bones may bring peace,
but the protections may turn a sheep to fleece."
- Result of a divination

"You do not have a polymorph to cheese spell!"
"Awwww, not even blue Cheese?"
- Yogi, then Andrea playing Athrill the Wild Mage

"Don't touch me if you are even thinking of something gross!"
- Bryan, to his girlfriend Deb

"I smite God for his impudence!"
- Dan, after Yogi makes a bad pun regarding Seglan

 For more quotes about this game, go to Bryan's Page.

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