Gord's Wonderful World of Words...

"You're such a sexy crowd, I wanna wash all your hair."
-- Craven, Another Roadside Attraction '95


"I said to her, y'know pauline? Nobody stamps on a burning bag of shit anymore."
-- Double Suicide monologue


"The Water's on fire, The Water's on fire!!!"
-- Gord Downie


"If Jesus was hung, would we all pray to a rope?"
-- Gord Downie


"Out at the speedway some kind of mighty Mike Harris thing"
-- Another Roadside Attraction - 1995

"I might not know much, but I know that's a rapidly rotating, oscillating fan, that could take the head off of any daring young man raised on shoulders high, take their head completely off, spraying blood all around this room--all over everyone. Is that what you want? Is that what you want?"
-- from "700 Foot Ceiling" at the Courtyard Nightclub, New Cumberland PA, echoing security's concerns about several body surfers floating dangerously close to a ceiling fan.


"It ain't art 'till it sells"
-- Gord Downie


"I look at your mud-soaked flesh, and I can only think of one thing..."
-- Intro to Greasy Jungle, Ottawa, July 95


"I'll drive off that bridge when I get to it"
-- Rockradio network interview, May 7, 1996


"The grass may always be greener on the other side, but you never know when someone will come along and "cut it". So it might be best to stick with your own brown, dead grass. Food for thought."
-- Gord Downie


If I die of vanity, promise me, promise me, they bury me someplace I don't want to be, you'll dig me up and transport me, unceremoniously, away from the swollen city-breeze, garbage-bag trees, whispers of disease and acts of enormity and lower me slowly, sadly, and properly Get Ry Cooder to sing my eulogy, At the hundreth meridian where the great plains begin.
-- At the Hundredth Meridian


"Pick up your shit."
-- Gord speaks before leaving the stage at Another Roadside Attraction


"You're all very beautiful people. Very beautiful. I'd like to cover you in chocolate syrup and eat you. Then I'd wash my dishes. I like to wash dishes with my clothes on."
-- Feburary 1995, Kingston, Ontario


"I just want to fit in! I just want to fit in! I want to get into the same strip clubs as Brian Mulroney..........
-- Feb. 7, 1995


"It's Hard to Say, it's Sad but True, I'm Kind of Dumb and So Are You..."
-- The Last of the Unplucked Gems


"It's really dry here....and I'm not just talking about the humour!"
-- El Paso, Sept. 1996


"Think of us, if it'll make it easier, think of us as a fin backed whale, second largest creature on the planet. Think of yourselves as Russian and Norwegian whalers, I know, it's a stretch, just do it. Exploding heads, 50 mph winds, boats that can pick and process on the high seas, state of the art exquipment. (Gord makes whale sounds)
-- Intro to Last of the Unplucked Gems, Upper Darby, PA


"I've noticed that you people like women's underwear a lot. It feel so good against the skin so I don't blame you."
-- Gino, Stockholm, Sweden 12/7/94


"The inevitability of death my babies.......live long and perspire"
-- Somewhere on the Day For Night tour, 1995


"Bilingual or die!!"
-- Calgary, November 16/96


"It's 27 below outside and out at the Grand Canyon they're still thinking about jumping."
-- Calgary, November 15/96


"Winter really falls like a curtain around here, doesn't it?"
-- Calgary, November 15/96 (it had snowed hard for the previous two days before the show)


"Here's one to really get you in a festive holiday mood"
-- Calgary, November 16/96, Before Inevitability of Death


"You all have beautiful bodies and strong characters"
-- Maple Leaf Gardens, February 1996


Three drunk guys in the crowd in between songs:
"Gord in Lord! Gord is Lord! Gord is Lord..."
Gord: "You should set your standards higher"
-- Philadelphia, a few years ago


"That's My Story and I'm Sticking to It"
--End of the Double Suicide Monologue


"This is a song for Jean Chretien..."
Intro to Daredevil, Saskatoon, ARA '97


"I'm hoping that this song will be as beautiful as your canola fields...."
Saskatoon, ARA '97


"Do you want to see my impression of Pierre Trudeau?"
Shrugs and puts his arms up before leaving the stage.
Saskatoon, ARA '97


"This song is called, 'Thank God we don't have capital punishment'"
ARA Barrie '97 Intro to Wheat Kings (for David Milgaard)
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