Ignorance is Bliss
Yusuke, Kuwabara, and myself are relaxing in the Reikai garden.
Let me rephrase that, Yusuke and I are trying to relax, although its almost impossible since Kuwabara have been whining for the last thirty minutes, a continuation from his whining yesterday. So, we shifted from relaxing and decided to help Kuwabara recover from his shock.
"I still can't believe it!" Kuwabara bemoaned for the nth hundred time since he first sat there with us. I knew that Yusuke was keeping track of how many he times Kuwabara have said those words, but somewhere near 30 Yusuke stopped counting. Whether he got tired counting or no longer knows what follows 30, I don't know and I have no intention of finding out.
"Yukina-san is related to *him*! My Kami!!!" Kuwabara buried his face in his hands. I glanced at Yusuke, this is what? The 52nd time he said that? Oh, right, Yusuke stopped counting. Kuwabara's face was deformed due to his expression and its taking a great deal of will power from both myself and Yusuke to keep ourselves from laughing. It's rude to laugh at a time like this. A snicker escaped Yusuke's lips and I jab him sharply on the ribs with my elbow.
Kuwabara looked up and glared brief at us. "It's not funny, Urameshi! Be grateful that Keiko is not related to a fiery shrimp like that shr..."
Kuwabara promptly cut himself off the moment we felt the approaching ki of the shrimp ...err...youkai in question.
Hiei approached us, an uncharacteristic smile on his face. He focused the said smile on Kuwabara and we could see beads of sweat pop out of Kuwabara's face.
"Oi!" Hiei nearly, almost impossibly ...chirped.
Hiei turned a full pledged fanged grin at us.
At the corner of my eye I saw Yusuke develop a huge sweatdrop. Almost a good thing we we're sitting down, Hiei is doing things that could have toppled us over.
Hiei turned his attention to Kuwabara and spoke in the politest voice I've ever heard from him, "May I talk with you in private, Kuwabara?"
Kuwabara visibly swallow nervously and shot us an equally nervous look that screams for help. We ignored the "help-me-out-here" look and simply grinned at him. He glared at us and followed Hiei.
"This is gonna be good," Yusuke commented. "Think we can hear them clear enough from here?" We are sitting about 5 meters away from Kuwabara and Hiei.
"We might have to exert a bit of ki but not enough for them to detect us," I took out a huge bag of chips. "About time to start eating this, don't you think?"
and eagerly opened the bag of chips as we both sat comfortably to watch...
I had reservations about talking to Kuwabara at first. But after being stuck with nothing to do in my room in the Reikai Palace I decided that if I can't train, I can't fight with anyone, and I can't flit off to nowhere, I might as well talk to Kuwabara about Yukina. It would be fun, the closest thing that could amuse me at this time and place. However, I didn't know I would have *this* much fun...
I bit back a smirk, Yukina might not like it if I smirk at her most ardent admirer. Had I known I would have this much fun I would have done it days, heck, maybe even months ago!
I sat back comfortably against the low tree and look down at Kuwabara who was standing below my tree and looking at me attentively. Giving me more attention than he'd given any of his teachers put together.
"Rule number 1," I continued after my premise. "You can't go out with Yukina unless you get proper permission from me... or else..." I allowed the silent threat to hang several seconds longer than necessary.
I'm really enjoying this. Truly. I bit back a grin as Kuwabara jerk his head up and down and said "Hai, hai!"
"Rule number 2: Proper permission can be obtain if and only if you're going out with a group," I paused. "That means, you can go out with her only if with you're with other ningens," he explained, purposefully speaking slowly just to drag it out.
Kuwabara is already developing a huge case of sweatdrops.
From Kurama and Yusuke's vantage point, they could almost hear the fast thud thud thudding of Kuwabara's heart. Hopefully, he won't suffer a heart attack. He's too young for that, right? Besides, Yukina might get mad.
An hour or so later, the chips have ran out but apparently Hiei is still not finished.
If veiled glares could kill, Hiei would be dead by now.
If too much sweat could kill, Kuwabara would have been dead about half an hour ago.
It's amazing how one ice maiden can keep two volatile tempers from strangling each other.
When will it
"Rule number 164: No holding hands and no physical contact of any sorts unless it cannot be avoided... or else..."
Kuwaraba's head bobbed, up and down. His neck is starting to feel the strains of too much nodding.
"Rule number 165: You will not address me with any form of disrespect." Hiei couldn't help but raise his nose a bit, "You do that and I will make sure you regret it."
Kuwabara's head paused in mid-bob as he heard the next statement...
"You will address me as Hiei-sama."
Kuwabara's jaw dropped open and a small squeak came out.
"Did you say something?"
"Iie," Kuwabara jerkily shook his head.
"Nothing." Mumble mumble.
"What was that?"
"Nothing, Hiei-sama," Kuwabara said, nearly grinding out his name.
"Good! Then we're finished!" Hiei grinned. Such a wonderful night! Maybe he should think of other rules to make it all an even 200!
Kuwabara turned, about to run away from him.
"Rule number 166..."
Kuwabara sweatdropped and nearly fainted.
"Always remember rules number 1 to 165!" He grinned, "That is all!"
then Kuwabara zoomed off.
Several minutes later...
"What do you mean when you said 'or else'?" Kurama asked Hiei.
They are sitting beneath Hiei's tree, eating yet another bag of chips. Yusuke have gone off to console Kuwabara but not after hurting his sides from too much laughter.
"Or else..." Hiei paused. "Or else nothing."
Hiei laughed. "Of course nothing! I can't have Yukina mad at me! He makes her happy. And as long as she's happy and safe then who am I to complain?"
Sometimes Hiei can still surprise him.
Kurama shook his head at his best friend, "You realize that you nearly gave him a heart attack with all the 'or else' that you said?!"
not my fault! It's just his over active imagination. It's his fault that
he's imagining such things..."
Yusuke and Kuwabara are in Reikai's spacious kitchen, drowning Kuwabara's sorrows in chocolate. Kuwabara have gotten over the shock but is now trying in vain to remember all the 166 of Hiei's Rules To Remember When You're Dating My Sister. Maybe he should have taken down notes.
"You know what, Urameshi?"
"Y'know they said: Ignorance is bliss?"
"They said that?"
"Yeah. I think
~ o w a r i ~
Notes: This is a oneshot; It's a parody if it actually makes you laugh.. but since this is the first time I wrote something besides angst (not counting a certain someone's angst) I dunno if I can pull it off... C&Cs please! Don't be to harsh on me, ok? This is the first time I've ever written something like this... Send them to: firstname.lastname@example.org
Finished: Nov. 11, 2000 4:00 PM - 5:50 PM
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