I am a home typist for a company that prints cookbooks for community organizations across Canada (and the United States), which the groups sell as a fund raising project. I format recipes to the company's specifications from people's handwritten (sometimes typed) copies. In doing such, I have accumulated a collection of unintentional mistakes that I have found funny. These are all from real recipes, I have not made any up. The people writing these recipes are just regular people like you and me. The cookbooks are from across the country but are local productions, not the professional chef ones available nationally or internationally at bookstores. Of course, when I type the recipes, the mistakes are corrected :) but perhaps you may get as much a kick out of them as I do.

Spelling mistakes are generally no big deal. But the interesting thing about these words is that they are spelled the same wrong way by different people more than 50% of the time. See if you can identify all the correct spellings (no dictionary or glancing in the cupboard!).

Is the right word in column A or B?

Chocolate Chip Cookies: 2 1/4 cups flower Very common mistake

Oreo Cookies: 2 pkg super moist devils foot cake mix

Potato Bean Soup: 3 medium (3 cups) potatoes, peeled and cute

Cinnamon French Toast: 1/4 cup skin milk

Jambalaya: 2 3/4 cups chicken brother Rooster.

Broccoli Dip: Stir in mushroom soap, cheese and garlic powder.

Fun things we can grind up:
Peppercorn Ranch Dressing: 1 tsp coarsely ground paper
Pumpkin Loaf: 1/2 tsp ground gloves
Something we should consider grinding up:
Chocolate Chip Cookies: 1 cup choking chips

7 Layer Salad: 1 cup of preciously cooked and cooled green peas

Pumpkin Sheet Cake: 1 teaspoon vanilla abstract

Cabbage Noodle Salad: Add some dry chow mein needles.

Beef Tenderloin Tips: 4 to 6 oz beef tenderlions

Crunchy Fudge Sandwiches: ½ cup peanut better

Macaroni Casserole: Buttered breast crumbs could also cover over all.

Souvlaki: 5 lb lamp or pork or beef

Torte: 1/3 tsp cream of tar To be fair, "tarter" was misspelled and the erroneous "ter" was covered with whiteout but left uncorrected.

White Chocolate Chip Cookies: 2 1/2 cups all-purpose floor i.e. not ceramic tiles?

Corn Salad: 1 1/2 cups fresh corn kennels (about 3 ears)

Poacher's Sausage: 1/3 cup non idolized salt

Confetti Caramel Bars: 1 1/2 to 2 cups assorted candles and nuts

Stewed tomatoes: 2 tsp graduated sugar

Vegetable Barley Stew: 14 ounce can diced tomatoes, untrained Haven't graduated.

Brewmasters Poopyseed Cake

Top with tasted almonds. Prechewed??

String Beans and Beef: 1 package frozen strong beans

That's the way I feel about seafood.

Park Mix: 1 cup peanuts or unbalanced whole almonds

Creamy Artichoke and Leek Dip: Serve witch crackers or tortilla chips.

Apple Roast Chicken: 1 sprinkle or two of seal salt and freshly ground pepper I guess seals are pretty salty.

Marinated Carrot Salad: 1/2 green pepper, slithered

Stir-Fry Vegetables: Do the same for each successful vegetable.

Hockey Puck Burgers: Warp a slice of bacon around edges of each patty.

Apricot Chicken: Cook for ¾ hour at 3:25. And don't you DARE cook it at any other time!

Chow Mein Noodle Casserole: Delete soup in hot water and pour over casserole.

Hot Wings: Precook wings for 1 hour at 350°C. Mix wings in sauce. Bake in oven for 1 hour at 250°C. CRISPY hot wings, I guess!
Speaking of crispy... Chinese Rice: Mix altogether and bake @ 275* for 1.5 yrs

Cabbage Rolls: Place 2 lbs meat mixture on each large leaf. Never seen cabbage leaves that big, myself!

Asparagus and Mushroom Risotto: Cook the asparagus in a pot of bowling water for 3 to 4 minutes.

Wagon Wheel Apple Pie: Cook over modern heat, stirring constantly.

Pepper Chicken: Paste chicken in a roasting pan.

Sweet and Sour Red Cabbage: Cook on low heat 70-90 miles.

Ginger Beef: Serve on a bead of rice. DIET Ginger beef.

Quick Cashew Curry: Serve on a bed or rice.

Salmon Loaf: Remove shin and bones from salmon.

Puffed Wheat Cake: Bring to boil. Remove from head.

Spaghetti Meat Sauce: Serve over your favourite paste.

Cream Cheese/Orange Salad: Add crushed pineapple with juice and organs (drained).

Hamburger Soup: Combing all ingredients in large pot.

Peanut Butter Pie: Mix together chocolate crumbs, sugar and mutter.

Beer Baked Ham: Use a small amount of the bear to make a paste with mustard and brown sugar.

The New Math!!
1. Drunken Chicken: Drink 1/3 of beer! Only use 3/4 of can.
2. Five Cup Fruit Salad: 1 cup pineapple chunks, 1 cup mandarin oranges, 1 cup seedless grapes, 1 cup miniature marshmallows, 1 cup coconut, 1 cup sour cream
3. Honey Oatmeal Wheat Bread: Punch down and form into 12 loaves. Let rise, then bake. Makes 14 loaves. The 2 extras appear by magic!

Freezer Jam: Bring to boil and boing hard for 1 minute. Priceless.

Sauteed Tiger Prawns: There are so many textures and flavours in this recipe that it appeals to almost all testes! Perhaps submitted by the same person doing the boinging (above).

Smoked Salmon Penne: When water boils, furiously add your choice of pasta. It's the misplaced comma that makes this one fun.

Fruity Salad Dressing Mix: Strawberries or raspberries will give a pink coloured dressing and oranges will give an orange colour. Ya think??

Chinese Pork: Place cabbage on clean cheesecloth and then sneeze out water.

Chicken Parmesan : Bake at 350 for approximately 35 minuets. (1) Ludwig Van Beethoven's Minuet in G.....

Basic White Bread: Cover and let rise in a worm place. For me, that's the garden.

Chocolate Cake: Sift all dry ingredients into large bowel. This blooper has appeared countless times so I've stopped keeping count - including those that call for a small bowel. Well, as long as you don't have to strain anything in a colon-der. But the highlight of this repetitive blunder happened today, February 26, 2008, for Oat Pancakes: Mix all the above ingredients in order in large bowel (lumpy). OK, I'm wrong, that wasn't the last word. In 2009, we had French Onion Soup: ovenproof bowels.

Cheesy Vegetable Stuffed Potatoes: Bake potatoes in microwave onion, set aside.

Washington Pudding: Cover tightly and simmer on top of stone for 35 minutes. This is a very easy recipe that doesn't require any special ingredients. Except the "stone", of course! (And I know there are baking stones but I'm quite confident you don't make pudding on them.)

Bean Salad: In a large boil, mix vinegar, sugar, oil, salt and pepper

Stewed Chicken and Dumplings: Mix in milk lightly with a ford to make a soft sticky dough. OK, so "ford" wasn't capitalized, but it made me laugh, anyway.

It's time for some new cookware.
Swedish Potatoes: Turn mixture into well battered medium large casserole.
Pumpkin Squares: Stir. Scrape into creased 9x13 inch pan.
Or borrow one.
Banana Chip Bread: Transfer to 9x5x3 loan pan.

Enchiladas: Lay 1 tortilla in greased flat casserole fish.

Chocolate Zucchini Cake: Allow cake to cool thoroughly on a rake before removing from pan.

Dropped Scones: Drop spoonful onto a heated girdle, cook on both sides and cool in a towel.

Steamed Broccoli Parmesan: Remove from heat to a sewing dish.

Banana Bread: Stir with spool until well mixed.

Black Forest Jelly Roll: Turn out immediately onto teal towel sprinkled with icing sugar. No other colour towel will do!!

So is this how pharmacists do it?
New Zealand Appetizer: Use a motor and pestle to grind the almonds.
(Same recipe book) Salty Lassi:: Use a mortal and pestle to grind.

Flaky Pastry: from the kitchen of Rebecca, Kinderfarten

Stir Fry Veggies: Cut bell people into thin strips; slice carrots and onions.

Chocolate Cheese Pie: For layer 3, spread rest of Cool Whip over lawyer 2.

Chicken Tikka - Place the chicken on a girl (broiled tray)

Breaded Chicken: I bread all the chicken before cooking it, unless I have Philip to cook while I bread the chicken. OMG! OMG!

Honey Cookies: Add all ingredients to a pot and heat until runny. Wait until it cools and dip the cooks in the syrup.

Barbeque Chicken: Bake at 400º for 1/2 hour, turn oven back to 350º, continue baking children for 2 hours.

WHAT'S IN A NAME?

Oriental Salad: 1 package Itchy Ban noodles

Crab Dip: 1 jar of Heinz chilly sauce

Lemon Wafer Squares: 1 can Eagle bland sweetened milk

Japanese Salad: 1/2 cup chow Maine noodles

Meat Loaf: Shake tobacco sauce. Eeewww!

Turtle Cheesecake: 14 oz craft caramels

24 Hour Salad: 20 oz can pineapple timbits If you don't understand the mistake, you are probably not Canadian.

Jellied Pigs Feet: Remove meat from bones and place in large Purex baking dish. Mixed up brand name or a commentary on pigs feet?

Chinese Salad: 1 pound lingine noodles, broken into fourths….. Cook linguine….. Bring linquini mixture to room temperature….. Toss into linguini….. Can't decide on which spelling to use? Use 'em all!

Eggplant Parmesan Casserole: Bona Petite.

Pepper Steak: 1 tsp monosodium glutomato

Mint Cheesecake: Garnish with curls of chocolate made by running a vegetable along narrow edge of chocolate bar.

Rhubarb Cake: Cram butter and sugar.

Death by Chocolate: 3 pkg chocolate mouse

Chocolate Marble Cheesecake: Remove cheesecake from oven. Run around rim of pan.

Chicken Supreme: Melt butter; blend in flour and spices, chicken dissolved in water and soya sauce.

Spinach Dip: 1 frozen pkg of spinach, thaw and rain

Salmon Stuffing: Rap salmon in foil and bake 1 hour.

Biscuits: 3 tsp baking power

Maraschino Cherry Bars: Heat oven to 35°F

Banana Muffins: Check muffins with tooth, if it comes out clean, muffins are ready.

Ham and Cheese Ball: Stir in the next 5 ingredients, the cover and chill several hours.

Corn Muffins: Beat egg and sour cream with a whisk or fork in a mall bowl.

Lemon Slices: 2 cups shedded coconut

Red Flannel Hash: 2 tsp died parsley flakes

Peanut Butter Balls: Mold into balls and place on wax paper cookie sheet.

Gold Mine Nuggets: Drop by teaspoon onto ungreased cookie.

Southwestern Corn and Potato Soup: Add the potato and the remaining sock and simmer for 10 minutes, until the potatoes soften. Finally, something you can use those orphaned laundry socks for!

Muffins: Stir 17 ties.

Fudge: Boil together until it forms a soft ball in ice cod water.

Cherry Delight: Reserve 1/4 cup of crumbs for top of desert.

Friendship Cake: Place ingredients in lager bowl.

Fried Chicken: ¼ cup margarine (on cookie sheet or spay with Pam)

Chicken Cordon Bleu: Roll each beast in flour.

Oriental Spinach and Rice Salad: ¾ cup cooked ice Cooked ice is generally called hot water.

Ginger-Garlic-Tomato Chicken: 1 can hole tomatoes, drained

Granola: 1/4 cup toasted sunflowers

French Toast: Serve with male syrup, jelly or honey.

Restaurant Cheesecake (Crust): 2 graham wafer crumbs

Beef Shreds: 2 thin slices ginger rot.

Sheppard Pie: 1 lb ground bee

Sesame Paste Dip: Place tahini in a owl and mix in garlic and salt.

Taco Dip: 1 medium cottage, 1 pkg cream cheese

Cream of broccoli soup: Garish with grated cheddar cheese Yeah, green and orange just aren't a great combo.

Ultimate Chicken Wings: In non-sick skillet, heat oil to 375F

The skillet (above) may be healthy but... Chicken Casserole: 1 sick margarine (melted)

Chicken Nuggets: 2 corn flakes, finely crushed Darn, there's only one corn flake left in the box.

BAD INSTRUCTIONS/WORDING

In some of these, you know what the person means, but the WAY it's worded could be interpreted differently. In others, the instructions are strange or just plain don't make sense at all.

Jamaican Pork: Cover and simmer (stir constantly) for 1 hour or until pork is done. Ouch! My arm is sore!

In the same vein Lemon Glaze Cake: Pour into pan and back for 35 minutes.

Deluxe Chocolate Marshmallow Bars: Cook over low heat, stirring occasionally but constantly until melted and well blended.

Chocolate Cake: This batter is thin. Pour into large shallow pan, 9x13 inch buttered, then line bottom with buttered wax paper.

Relish: Drain in a pillow case for 1 hour.

Sour Cabbage Heads: Recipe is for 5 gallon crock. Double recipe four (4) times for 10 gallon crock.

All old vegetables cook in cold water. All new vegetables cook in boiling water.

Bisque: Enjoy. Hope you like it, I really don't personally. Yup, that'll make me wanna try it!

M&M Oatmeal Cookies: 1-16 golden Crisco, 3 ¾ cups frozen sugar

No Fuss Squares: Spread in a long pan that is greased for 15 to 18 minutes at 350°F. I can usually grease my pan in under 1 minute at room temperature!

Miracle Whip Cake: Preheat oven to 350°F and place into 9x9 inch greased pan. Somehow I don't think the pan is big enough.

Pistachio Dessert: Keep in freezer. Remove 1/2 hour before freezing.

Zucchini Loaf: Pour mixture into greased 9x13 inch pan for 40 minutes at 350°F.

Chocolate Sloppy: Serve warm with ice cream scoop on top.

Hearty Clam Chowder: Continue to sweat until vegetables are soft.

French Toast Deluxe: Cover with Saran Wrap and sit in fridge overnight.

Yorkshire Pudding: Beat up the eggs and add to the batter when quite smooth.
Waffles: Beat egg whites until still but not dry.

Mountain Dew Cherry Cake: Prepare 2 loaf pans with greece and flouring. Pour mixture into pans and bake at 275% in preheated oven for 1 hour and 45 minutes.

Chili Sauce: Tie the cloves in a mushy bag, boil together until onions are tender. Remove mushy bag and bottle relish while hot in sterilized jars.

Upside-Down Cake: Cherries will sink and marshmallows will rise above cake. I always hate it when my marshmallows levitate like that.

No Bake Lasagna: Bake in a 325 degree oven about 1 hour.
Cheesecake: Mix together all pastry ingredients in separate bowl with hands.

Chicken with Creamy Tarragon Sauce: Serves 4. Recipe best made before serving. Duh.

Hash Brown Casserole: Mix all ingredients and transfer to baking dish. Combine all ingredients and transfer to baking dish. Combine all ingredients and put in 2 quart casserole dish. Does that mean I need to mix/combine all ingredients and transfer/put them into a baking/casserole dish?

To freeze or not to freeze? That is the question. Meat Pie: Do not freeze pies when cooked. However, you may freeze them before cooking the pie crusts. You may wish to precook the pies, freeze them and then heat them up when you want to eat them.

I still don't know what this word was SUPPOSED to be. At the time, I polled everyone on my e-mail list and Nut "Smake" Cake was the favourite. Anyway, I DO know what the words below are, although sometimes it took me a while to puzzle them out... let's do some deciphering:

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