I am a home typist for a company that prints cookbooks for community organizations across Canada, which the groups sell as a fund raising project. I format recipes to the company's specifications from people's handwritten (sometimes typed) copies. In doing such, I have accumulated a collection of unintentional mistakes that I have found funny. These are all from real recipes, I have not made any up. The people writing these recipes are just regular people like you and me. The cookbooks are from across the country but are local productions, not the professional chef ones available nationally or internationally at bookstores. Of course, when I type the recipes, the mistakes are corrected :) but perhaps you may get as much a kick out of them as I do.

Spelling mistakes are generally no big deal. But the interesting thing about these words is that they are spelled the same wrong way by different people more than 50% of the time. See if you can identify all the correct spellings (no dictionary or glancing in the cupboard!).

Is the right word in column A or B?

WRONG WORD/SPELLING

Chocolate Chip Cookies: 2 1/4 cups flower Very common mistake

Oriental Salad: 1 package Itchy Ban noodles

Crab Dip: 1 jar of Heinz chilly sauce

Cheesy Vegetable Stuffed Potatoes: Bake potatoes in microwave onion, set aside.

Chocolate Cake: Sift all dry ingredients into large bowel. This blooper has appeared countless times so I've stopped keeping count - including those that call for a small bowel. Well, as long as you don't have to strain anything in a colon-der. But the highlight of this repetitive blunder happened today, February 26, 2008, for Oat Pancakes: Mix all the above ingredients in order in large bowel (lumpy).

Washington Pudding: Cover tightly and simmer on top of stone for 35 minutes. This is a very easy recipe that doesn't require any special ingredients. Except the "stone", of course!

Stir-Fry Vegetables: Do the same for each successful vegetable.

Bean Salad: In a large boil, mix vinegar, sugar, oil, salt and pepper

Enchiladas: Lay 1 tortilla in greased flat casserole fish.

Meat Loaf: Shake tobacco sauce. Eeewww!

Lemon Wafer Squares: 1 can Eagle bland sweetened milk

Hockey Puck Burgers: Warp a slice of bacon around edges of each patty.

Apricot Chicken: Cook for ¾ hour at 3:25. And don't you DARE cook it at any other time!

Ginger Fried Rice: 2 tsp grated fresh gingerfoot

Swedish Potatoes: Turn mixture into well battered medium large casserole.

Cinnamon French Toast: 1/4 cup skin milk

Flaky Pastry: from the kitchen of Rebecca, Kinderfarten

Chow Mein Noodle Casserole: Delete soup in hot water and pour over casserole.

Hot Wings: Precook wings for 1 hour at 350°C. Mix wings in sauce. Bake in oven for 1 hour at 250°C. CRISPY hot wings, I guess!

Chocolate Cheese Pie: For layer 3, spread rest of Cool Whip over lawyer 2.

Cabbage Rolls: Place 2 lbs meat mixture on each large leaf. Never seen cabbage leaves that big, myself!

Chocolate Zucchini Cake: Allow cake to cool thoroughly on a rake before removing from pan.

Broccoli Dip: Stir in mushroom soap, cheese and garlic powder.

Dropped Scones: Drop spoonful onto a heated girdle, cook on both sides and cool in a towel.

7 Layer Salad: 1 cup of preciously cooked and cooled green peas

Beef Tenderloin Tips: 4 to 6 oz beef tenderlions

Torte: 1/3 tsp cream of tar To be fair, "tarter" was misspelled and the erroneous "ter" was covered with whiteout but left uncorrected.

Teriyaki Pork Stir-Fry: Yield: 4 to 6 persons.

Lemon Glaze Cake: Pour into pan and back for 35 minutes.

Pumpkin Sheet Cake: 1 teaspoon vanilla abstract

Chocolate Chip Cookies: 1 cups choking chips

Asparagus and Mushroom Risotto: Cook the asparagus in a pot of bowling water for 3 to 4 minutes.

Wagon Wheel Apple Pie: Cook over modern heat, stirring constantly.

Stewed Chicken and Dumplings: Mix in milk lightly with a ford to make a soft sticky dough. OK, so "ford" wasn't capitalized, but it made me laugh, anyway.

Sweet and Sour Pork Chops: Return pork chops to pot. Allow to sulk in sauce.

Crunchy Fudge Sandwiches: ½ cup peanut better

Swedish Meatballs: Mix next 6 ingredients in saucepan and heat on top of sauce.

Sweet and Sour Red Cabbage: Cook on low heat 70-90 miles.

Peppercorn Ranch Dressing: 1 tsp coarsely ground paper

Ginger Beef: Serve on a bead of rice. DIET Ginger beef.

Quick Cashew Curry: Serve on a bed or rice.

Souvlaki: 5 lb lamp or pork or beef

Salmon Loaf: Remove shin and bones from salmon.

Chocolate Chip Cookies: Place on wine cooling rack.

Stewed tomatoes: 2 tsp graduated sugar

Puffed Wheat Cake: Bring to boil. Remove from head.

Stir Fry Veggies: Cut bell people into thin strips; slice carrots and onions.

Spaghetti Meat Sauce: Serve over your favourite paste.

Pumpkin Squares: Stir. Scrape into creased 9x13 inch pan.

Cream Cheese/Orange Salad: Add crushed pineapple with juice and organs (drained).

No Fail Brisket: Preheat oven to 275 and bake cover for 6 hours.

Beer Baked Ham: Use a small amount of the bear to make a paste with mustard and brown sugar.

Peanut Butter Pie: Mix together chocolate crumbs, sugar and mutter.

Hamburger Soup: Combing all ingredients in large pot.

White Chocolate Chip Cookies: 2 1/2 cups all-purpose floor i.e. not ceramic tiles?

Cabbage Noodle Salad: Add some dry chow mein needles.

Pepper Chicken: Paste chicken in a roasting pan.

Pumpkin Loaf: 1/2 tsp ground gloves

Salad Dressing: Dump in jar with a tight fighting lid.

Steamed Broccoli Parmesan: Remove from heat to a sewing dish.

Freezer Jam: Bring to boil and boing hard for 1 minute. (priceless)

Sauteed Tiger Prawns: There are so many textures and flavours in this recipe that it appeals to almost all testes! Perhaps submitted by the same person doing the boinging (above).

Drunken Chicken: Drink 1/3 of beer! Only use 3/4 of can. The new math!!

Corn Salad: 1 1/2 cups fresh corn kennels (about 3 ears)

Mint Cheesecake: Garnish with curls of chocolate made by running a vegetable along narrow edge of chocolate bar.

Rhubarb Cake: Cram butter and sugar.

Death by Chocolate: 3 pkg chocolate mouse

Chocolate Marble Cheesecake: Remove cheesecake from oven. Run around rim of pan.

Chicken Supreme: Melt butter; blend in flour and spices, chicken dissolved in water and soya sauce.

Spinach Dip: 1 frozen pkg of spinach, thaw and rain

Salmon Stuffing: Rap salmon in foil and bake 1 hour.

Biscuits: 3 tsp baking power

Maraschino Cherry Bars: Heat oven to 35°F

Banana Muffins: Check muffins with tooth, if it comes out clean, muffins are ready.

Ham and Cheese Ball: Stir in the next 5 ingredients, the cover and chill several hours.

Corn Muffins: Beat egg and sour cream with a whisk or fork in a mall bowl.

Lemon Slices: 2 cups shedded coconut

Red Flannel Hash: 2 tsp died parsley flakes

Peanut Butter Balls: Mold into balls and place on wax paper cookie sheet.

Gold Mine Nuggets: Drop by teaspoon onto ungreased cookie.

Southwestern Corn and Potato Soup: Add the potato and the remaining sock and simmer for 10 minutes, until the potatoes soften.

Muffins: Stir 17 ties.

Fudge: Boil together until it forms a soft ball in ice cod water.

Cherry Delight: Reserve 1/4 cup of crumbs for top of desert.

Friendship Cake: Place ingredients in lager bowl.

Fried Chicken: ¼ cup margarine (on cookie sheet or spay with Pam)

Chicken Cordon Bleu: Roll each beast in flour.

Oriental Spinach and Rice Salad: ¾ cup cooked ice (Cooked ice is generally called hot water...)

Ginger-Garlic-Tomato Chicken: 1 can hole tomatoes, drained

Granola: 1/4 cup toasted sunflowers

French Toast: Serve with male syrup, jelly or honey.

Restaurant Cheesecake (Crust): 2 graham wafer crumbs

Beef Shreds: 2 thin slices ginger rot.

Sheppard Pie: 1 lb ground bee

BAD INSTRUCTIONS/WORDING

In some of these, you know what the person means, but the WAY it's worded could be interpreted differently. In others, the instructions are strange or just plain don't make sense at all.

Jamaican Pork: Cover and simmer (stir constantly) for 1 hour or until pork is done. Ouch! My arm is sore!

Deluxe Chocolate Marshmallow Bars: Cook over low heat, stirring occasionally but constantly until melted and well blended.

Chocolate Cake: This batter is thin. Pour into large shallow pan, 9x13 inch buttered, then line bottom with buttered wax paper.

Relish: Drain in a pillow case for 1 hour.

Sour Cabbage Heads: Recipe is for 5 gallon crock. Double recipe four (4) times for 10 gallon crock.

All old vegetables cook in cold water. All new vegetables cook in boiling water.

Bisque: Enjoy. Hope you like it, I really don't personally. Yup, that'll make me wanna try it!

M&M Oatmeal Cookies: 1-16 golden Crisco, 3 ¾ cups frozen sugar

No Fuss Squares: Spread in a long pan that is greased for 15 to 18 minutes at 350°F. I can usually grease my pan in under 1 minute at room temperature!

Miracle Whip Cake: Preheat oven to 350°F and place into 9x9 inch greased pan. Somehow I don't think the pan is big enough.

Pistachio Dessert: Keep in freezer. Remove 1/2 hour before freezing.

Zucchini Loaf: Pour mixture into greased 9x13 inch pan for 40 minutes at 350°F.

Chocolate Sloppy: Serve warm with ice cream scoop on top.

Yorkshire Pudding: Beat up the eggs and add to the batter when quite smooth.
Waffles: Beat egg whites until still but not dry.

Hearty Clam Chowder: Continue to sweat until vegetables are soft.

French Toast Deluxe: Cover with Saran Wrap and sit in fridge overnight.

Cheesecake: Mix together all pastry ingredients in separate bowl with hands.

Mountain Dew Cherry Cake: Prepare 2 loaf pans with greece and flouring. Pour mixture into pans and bake at 275% in preheated oven for 1 hour and 45 minutes.

Chili Sauce: Tie the cloves in a mushy bag, boil together until onions are tender. Remove mushy bag and bottle relish while hot in sterilized jars.

Honey Oatmeal Wheat Bread: Punch down and form into 12 loaves. Let rise, then bake. Makes 14 loaves. The 2 extras appear by magic!

Upside-Down Cake: Cherries will sink and marshmallows will rise above cake. I always hate it when my marshmallows levitate like that.

No Bake Lasagna: Bake in a 325 degree oven about 1 hour.

I still don't know what this word was SUPPOSED to be. At the time, I polled everyone on my e-mail list and Nut "Smake" Cake was the favourite. Anyway, I DO know what the words below are, although sometimes it took me a while to puzzle them out... let's do some deciphering:

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