it feels so surreal.
People always told me I act too motherly towards you, that I overprotect you. They reproach me for being a mother to you while you already have one. They're so true and I even put myself against me because I know I don't have to do that.
But if I do that it's somehow because you need it.
You need to make mistakes, like everyone, you're just a human being like every other. But I anticipate your mistakes, I see them coming from far away. They're so expectable. I can imagine your eyebrows frowning when reading this, but face the reality, that's true. And well I can't stand seeing you being wrong all the way down like this, it really puts me down and drives me mad. So I interfere and protect you from what may happen to you.
On the other hand it's not good for you. That's by making mistakes you learn what's wrong and what's good, what needs to be made and what not, what you have to do and what you have not to. And I write that stuff down a piece of paper and hand it to you for you to read it instead of letting you discover life by yourself. I'm younger than you though I'm way more mature. I've grown up too fast and maybe I want to protect the child that's in you just because I couldn't have protected the one in me ...
fucking up psychology explanation here ...
i actually don't know the reason why.
I wish you would listen to me when I say you're wrong. I did that with your new hair color (dammit ... anyway) remember how much I pissed you off when you got your lip pierced ? You got all angry at me and then I left that one hour message long on your mobile and then one week after you took time to listen to me and even asked for some advices, man, do you always need to make me sad and to shout at me before realising I'm true ? What's that overcontroled ego you got here ? Can't you just admit it ? I know it may be hard .... but I love you and I only want the best for you. In a few years you'll realise I was right but it'd be too late.
I got used to this fucking piercing and even begin to like it, haha, spank me.
All I want you is to be you and not trying desperately to be someone you're not. Have fun during your youth, but don't escape what you are. You're running after something that has haunted you since junior high ... but who really gives a fuck of what the others think ??? You are who you are and damn ... I so love you this way.
Hang on, sweetie. you're just down the line. walk on. love it.
i'm here having your back as always ! feel free.
your little faerie.