I worked with an individual who plugged his power strip back into itself
and for the life of them could not understand
why his computer would not turn on.
1st Person: "Do you know anything about this fax-machine?"
2nd Person: "A little. What's wrong?"
1st Person: "Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say
all she received was a cover-sheet and a blank page.
I tried it again, and the same thing happened."
2nd Person: "How did you load the sheet?"
1st Person: "It's a pretty sensitive memo,
and I didn't want anyone else to read it by accident,
so I folded it so only the recipient would open it and read it."
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
"Do you need some help?" I asked.
She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery
in this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car.
Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store)
would have a battery for this?" She asked.
"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked.
"No, just this remote 'thingy,'" she answered, handing it and the car keys to me.
As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you
drive over there and check about the batteries...it's a long walk."
Tech Support: "What does the screen say now."
Person: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support: "Well?"
Person: "How do I know when it's ready?"
My friend called his car insurance company to tell them to
change his address from Texas to Vermont.
The woman who took the call asked where Vermont was.
As he tried to explain, she interrupted and said,
"Look, I'm not stupid or anything, but what state is it in?"
I tried it again, Several years ago we had an intern who was none too swift. I tried it again, I was working the help desk. One of our servers crashed. I was watching our new system administrator This person had a broken lamp which he wanted to discard. I was in a car dealership a while ago when a large motor home was towed I called a company and asked to speak to Bob. I rented a movie from Blockbuster. Where'd all these darn indians come from?
One day he was typing and turned to a secretary and said,
"I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?"
"Just use copier machine paper," she told him.
With that, the intern took his last remaining blank piece of paper,
One day one of the computer operators called me and asked if anything "bad"
would happen if she dropped coins into the openings of her PC.
I asked her if this was something she was thinking of doing.
She said, "never mind" and hung up.
So I got out my trusty tool kit and paid her a visit.
I opened her CPU case and sure enough, there was 40 cents.
trying to restore it. He inserted a CD and needed to type a path name to
a directory named "i386." He started to type it and paused, asking me,
"Where's the key for that line thing?" I asked what he was talking about,
and he said, "You know, that one that looks like an upside-down exclamation mark."
I replied, "You mean the letter 'i'?" and he said, "Yeah, that's it!"
Unfortunately, the power cord ran under his refrigerator,
making it impossible to move the lamp while the cord was attached.
He decided to cut the cord, since the lamp was unusable anyway.
He didn't remember to unplug it first.
I found him in the hallway rolling back and forth.
into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and
the whole thing generally looked like an extra from the movie "Twister."
I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver
had set the cruise control, then went in back to make a sandwich.
The person who answered said, "Bob is on vacation.
Would you like to hold?"
Before the movie begins a message came on the screen saying,
"This movie has been altered to fit your television screen."
Comment from a guest: "How do they know what size screen you have?"
-G. A. Custer
I tried it again, I was working the help desk.
One of our servers crashed. I was watching our new system administrator
This person had a broken lamp which he wanted to discard.
I was in a car dealership a while ago when a large motor home was towed
I called a company and asked to speak to Bob.
I rented a movie from Blockbuster.
Where'd all these darn indians come from?
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