Angel Jokes
Did you get your email?
One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behaviour that was going on. So God called one of the angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time.
When she returned, she told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not"
God thought for a moment and said, "Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion"
So God called another angel and sent him to Earth for a time too. When the angel returned he went to God and said, "Yes, it's true. The Earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being good "
God was not pleased so He decided to e-mail the 5% who were being good because he wanted to encourage them give them a little something to help them keep going.
Do you know what the e-mail said?.................................
Just wondering... I didn't get one either....
Guardian Angel
A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.
He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die."
The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
"Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?"
"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.
"Oh yeah?" the man asked. "And where were you the day that I got married?"
3 Men In A Boat
Three guys were fishing in a lake one day, when an angel appeared in the boat.
When the three astonished men had settled down enough to speak, the first guy asked the angel humbly, "I've suffered from back pain ever since I took shrapnel in the Vietnam War ... Could you help me?"
"Of course," the angel said, and when he touched the man's back, the man felt relief for the first time in years.
The second guy who wore very thick glasses and had a hard time reading and driving. He asked if the angel could do anything about his poor eyesight. The angel smiled, removed the man's glasses and tossed them into the lake. When they hit the water, the man's eyes cleared and he could see everything distinctly.
When the angel turned to the third guy, the guy put his hands out defensively -- "Don't touch me!" he cried, "I'm on a disability pension."
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