Disclaimer: Its highly possible that I have yet again overdosed on sugar, which will of course be directly responsible for this web page. Be assured that I will, at some point, return to normal and replace this page with one more suitable, such as a page dedicated to the great novelists of our time, or chemistry. Please allow for random occurences such as these, as sugar addiction is a disease not a crime. Also, it is important to note that i also like bananas, apples and oranges...and of course cheese............Please ignore extended elipsis occurences such as this.............as this is when I have to pause for thought, although they are strictly against the laws of English grammar. If you have reached this page from another country, please allow 28 days for the delivery of English humour, and a further 7 days to realise that it is, in fact, not funny and you've been giving it the benefit of the doubt because English people are all mad. And finally, those that would like to view this page in understandovision, please purchase a bag of skittles from your nearest retail outlet, consume, allow 30 minutes for digestion, and proceed as normal. Thank you for tuning into Livewire, we hope you have enjoyed your stay...........................

NEWS
As ever, we endeavour with our plot against the cruel and vicious reign of the Hitler Cheese - only to be thwarted time and again by his evil plots for world domination. Mr. Cheese, recently promoted to head of the World Cheese Rights Council and a staunch ally of our cause has promised us military back-up should we feel the need to step in before HC gets really out of hand. But we worry we would create a martyr. Our cheesological surveyor thinks Hitler-Cheese statues would begin appearing within the week. This cannot be alowed to happen. We shall prevail!!! The world will be Cheese-Friendly again. We swear upon our oaths as soldiers of the cause!
-------------------------------------------------------Sargent Wensleydale reports that though our foreign allies in the north support us, we should expect no help in the coming battles. The alaskan ice wars of the 90's and the poor performance of cheddar against curry has prompted a rapid withdrawal as Northern investors seek solace for the doomed state of their cheese affairs.
------------------------------------------------------Squirrel boy has finally graduated from Nutz Academy and is now, thankfully, a fully fledged Acorn Stockist. Thank goodness that crisis was avoided.

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Digiteddy has sent us this brief glimpse into the tunnels below Hitler-Cheese's Headquarters. He reports good progress and little resistance and was, infact, in good spirits when we recieved his communication. Our thoughts are, of course, with Digited's family as he attempts this daring and heroic infiltration of the enemy base.