Merlin's Monthly Diary
Year Nine
February 24,
2009
Well, I have officially started my 9th year with Mommy!!
This month both Mommy and I had to go see the vet and get stabbed for blood. I
got to go to good doggie vet and Mommy was forced by her work to go to the bad
human vet. The doggie vet told me my blood was PERFECT (even if my color is all
disappearing). The bad human vet told Mommy that her iron was "dangerously low"
and that she should be "very sick" and "not functioning" and that she should "be
winded climbing stairs" and "unable to walk from the car to the front door".
Mommy thought this was odd since the vet called to tell her this on a day that
she had taken a 4 1/2 mile morning walk with me, then gone up and down the
stairs at work four times carrying about 20 pounds in each hand and had also
carried a 50 lb bag of dogfood around the store on her shoulder while she got
other things for me. Mommy says this just proves that doggie vets are much
smarter than human vets and also only makes her even more determined to avoid
human vets unless she really is sick. Mommy did some research on the web and
figured out that she was donating blood too often (every 8 weeks) so to humor
the bad human vet Mommy is now taking iron pills and has agreed to cut back the
blood donations to every 16 weeks, but she says the bad karma is to fall on the
human vet not her.
I wore my camera to the vet and Mommy really liked
this photo
that I took while the vet was examining a part of me that I don't think vets
should examine. I had to go into the back room to have my blood drawn (I'm not
very good about being stabbed and extra people need to hold me down) and then
after the blood draw I always get weighed and then we go back to Mommy, but when
we got to the scale there was a bassett hound taking her good sweet time being
weighed and I wanted to go back to Mommy NOW so I barked at her and told her to
quit being so vain and hurry up already. The vet thought it was funny how I
didn't want to wait my turn. Mommy tells me that one of the reasons the vet
took my blood was to have my DNA checked for what breeds are in me. We haven't
gotten our results yet, but we'll let you know when we do. It will be very
exciting to finally learn who my parents were!
Other things that happened this month was that the weather couldn't decide what
it was going to be. We had snow, then icy crunchy snow (which made me hurt my
leg when I was playing run around in the backyard with Mommy) then it all melted
and we had mud. I had fun running in circles and forming a mud track in grass
of the backyard and also at the park. When all the snow melted Mommy found 27
of my stuffies in the backyard! It is like I have all new stuffies again. Then
it got cold again and we had snow again! So now there is snow on the ground,
but it is supposed to get warm again this week Mommy says. This is my favorite
time of year because you can play in the mud one day and the snow the next and
all the dead things are out and rotting and so much fun to find and eat on
walks.
Speaking of walks, on one of our walks to the lake I saw one of the strangest,
most exciting things I've ever seen there. There were four people running
REALLY FAST on the ice, but they were hardly moving their feet and they had big
branches in their hands and were smacking this funny flat ball around the ice
and that ball moved even faster than the people. Mommy said it was called
hockey and the flat ball was really hard so I should NOT try to fetch it or I'd
break a tooth. I think it wasn't very nice of her not to let me play. I really
think I'd have been good at the game and I know I could have turned those
branches into wood chips in no time.
On one of the nice warm days Mommy took me on a hike and I saw FIVE BIG
BUNNIES!! I was so very excited I spy hopped and barked and spy hopped some
more and ran around Mommy. I've never seen FIVE big bunnies at once. Usually I
only see one or two. The big bunnies looked at me and then went back to eating
grass, but after awhile they finally did what they were supposed to do and
hopped off. Mommy says when the weather gets warm enough I'll be able to wear
my camera on hikes and then maybe I'll get a photo of the big bunnies.
Finally this month Mommy went online and chatted with a pet psychic. She asked
her what my first home was like and the psychic said that I was telling her that
I was kicked around a lot. Not literally, but rather that I lived in a whole
bunch of different places and there were a bunch of different people involved in
my early life (true I was thrown into the pound when I was about 5 weeks old
then I went through two foster homes before I found Mommy and at least 3 people
came to see me and rejected me or I rejected them before Mommy came and got
me). Then she said that I was very sensitive and get my feelings hurt very
easily (true) and that I felt that people yelled at me way too much before Mommy
got me. Then she said that because I'm so sensitive I have tummy troubles a lot
(very true). Mommy asked if I was autistic and the lady said she didn't think I
was autistic and I definitely wasn't ADD but that I had trouble understanding
what people wanted especially if they raised their voices or treated me rough,
even if it is just play rough. When I don't understand something my feelings
get hurt and I tune them out and go inside myself (true again!).
Oh wait! That wasn't finally! Finally is really that it was Valentines Day
this month and when Mommy and I went to the feed store loading dock to say hi
the guys gave me the BEST COOKIE IN THE WORLD!! It was HUGE, almost as long as
my head and very hard so it took a long time to eat. I thought it was so good
that on our return walk I tried to convince Mommy to go back to the loading dock
so I could get another one. Mommy said no so I sat down and barked at the
loading dock guys from a block away. They thought it was funny. Then today
Mommy took me INSIDE the feed store (I don't usually get to go in there because
I like to try to eat their cat) and she bought me a bag of those great
cookies!!! I was so excited to be in the feed store that I had to check
everything out and I really really wanted a stuffie and a HUGE bully stick, but
Mommy said no we were only getting poop bags and cookies. I helped myself to a
couple of the cookies out of one of the bulk bins (the cash register lady said
it was okay). Then when we were paying one of the loading dock guys came in and
said, "Hi Mooch!" and ran and got me another cookie out of the bulk bin and told
the cash register ladies that I was a loading dock regular and Mommy pointed out
how well trained I had them as the loading dock guy immediately ran and got me a
cookie when he saw me. At the end of our walk I insisted on going back to the
warehouses to look for birds and mice and then to the loading dock guys. Mommy
told them NO COOKIE because I had had too many already today, but one of my best
pals was there and he ran to get me two little tiny dog cookies and said they
didn't count because they were tiny. I barked at him because they were so
small. Mommy said I'm spoiled.
Special Update!!
March 6, 2009
As I told you in my last update Mommy had my DNA tested. We got the results!!!
To make things fun, Mommy and I set up a survey so people could guess what
breeds I have in me. 46 of you guessed my breed and you came up with the
following:
84% of you think I'm part Lab
50% say part Flat Coated Retriever
46% think Border Collie
30% think German Shepherd
28% think Greyhound
11% think Australian Cattle Dog
9% think Australian Shepherd
6.5% think Italian Wolfhound and Golden Retriever
4% think Boxer, Pekingese and Great Pyrenees
2% think Beagle, Cairn Terrier and English Setter
Nobody thought I had Yorkie, Poodle, Bulldog, or Basset Hound
Now I could announce what I have in a straight forward manner, but I thought I'd
have more fun than that:
It's the Maury Bowwowvich Show
Maury: This week on Maury Bowwowvich we have Merlin Wylt who wants to know who
his parents are. Tell us your story Merlin.
Merlin: Well, I was abandoned at the pound in the middle of the night when he
was about five weeks old. I have no idea who or what my parents were. I have a
good life now living as an artist in the midwest with my adopted family, but it
has always nagged at me that I can't tell people what kind of dog I am.
Maury: Well Merlin, we have a surprise for you. We tracked down a dog who
thinks she might be your mother and she has brought along two dogs who she
thinks may be your father. Sally Labrador, Hans German Shepherd, Jake Border
Collie, please come on stage. Tell us your story Sally.
Sally: It's a sad story told by many bitches out there. Nine years ago I snuck
out of the house and met up with some dogs in the dog park one night. I wasn't
thinking about the concequences, I was in heat you know and, well, you don't
really think then. Nine weeks later I surprised my humans with a litter of
mixed breed puppies. I know Jake and Hans were in the park that night, and
well, if you look at Merlin he looks like he could be my puppy, especially if
Jake or Hans is his father.
Jake: Hey! If I thought that the puppies were mine I'd admit it, but there
were dozens of dogs in the park that night! I mean she was in heat! Every
intact dog that could get out was there.
Hans: I don't know why she'd say I was the father. I'll admit I sniffed her
butt, but that's as far as it went!
Maury: Let's show everyone a photo of Merlin side by side with photos of Sally,
Jake and Hans.
Sally: See, he looks a lot like me doesn't he? And I definitely see either
Jake or Hans in him.
Jake: Well, I suppose he could be mine, those eyes kinda look like mine, but it
doesn't smell right to me.
Hans: He doesn't look anything like me! I'm a black and tan shepherd! Where's
his saddle? He doesn't have any saddle!
Maury: We gave all of you a DNA test and I have the results right here. [waves
envelope] Hans German Shepherd, in the case of Merlin Wylt...You are NOT the
father!
Hans: I told you bitch! I told you!
Maury: Jake Border Collie, in the case of Merlin Wylt...you are NOT the father!
Jake: I kinda hoped I was, I got neutered after that night so it would have
been nice if I was you know?
Maury: Our DNA test proved something else as well. Sally, in the case of
Merlin Wylt...you are NOT the mother!
[Audience roars]
Maury: It seems that Merlin is a purebred mongrel. According to the tests both
his parents were mutts. All four of his grandparents were mutts. All eight of
his GREAT grandparents were mutts and it is very likely that all of his GREAT
GREAT grandparents were mutts!! The DNA doesn't lie. Merlin has very slight
markers for Labrador Retriever, German Shepherd Dog, Boxer, Australian Cattle
Dog and Basset Hound, but none of these markers are strong enough for there to
have been a purebred for at least three generations back. We can't really say
that he is even a Lab mix because even though Lab is the strongest marker in him
the amount is less than 12%! So, Merlin, when people ask, you can tell them you
are a purebred mongrel for generations back.
THE END
So, that's it. I am part Lab, German Shepherd, Boxer, Australian Cattle Dog
and, (this made Mommy practically fall off her chair laughing) Basset Hound.
There is probably a whole lot more breeds in me but the traces were so faint
that they couldn't be identified with certainty. Mommy says I am "pure dog" and
I probably look a lot like dogs looked when they first decided to hang around
with people. She thinks that is why people either think I am the coolest dog
they have ever seen or they think I am really really scary. She says something
in my looks must trigger an ancient part of the early human brain that is left
over from that time. Hope you weren't disappointed by the results!
March 24,
2009
As you all know the big news this month is that I got my DNA test results back
and we learned that I am a purebred La Gerboauscat Hound! Okay, I'm a mutt, but
one of my fans dubbed me a La Gerboauscat Hound when she read what my mix was.
If you missed that update, check out the past diary entries for the full story
of my DNA test.
Other than that, let's see what has happened. Well, the weather has gotten nice
and spring-like so Mommy and I have gotten to go for a lot more walks than we do
in the winter. I have also gotten to wear my camera on our hikes and have taken
some good pictures. You can
see
them here. I have also gotten to bring a
whole lot of mud into the house on my paws. I love tracking in mud. I
especially like jumping on Mommy's bed with muddy paws.
On our normal walks I have found lots and lots of dead things to eat or carry
around. On one walk I stopped at a tree and was sniffing and sniffing. Mommy
thought I was reading my pee mail so she didn't pay a whole lot of attention to
me, but what I was really sniffing was that a fox had hidden the back half of a
bunny in a hollow part of the tree. I managed to pull it out and then refused
to drop it for a long time so Mommy and I got to walk by the school and a whole
lot of other walkers with me looking like a bunny killer with the hind legs and
a fluffy tail hanging out of my mouth. We got a lot of interesting looks let me
tell you!
The squirrels no longer hang out in the squirrel tree now that the weather is
warmer, instead they are running around the park, so I have to spend my time
making sure they all get up into the trees where they belong. It is hard work.
Sometimes I'll just get them all up in the trees and one of the first ones that
I chase up decides to come down, then I have to drag Mommy across the park and
chase the bad squirrel back up the tree. It can take a good 15 or 20 minutes to
get every squirrel staying in a tree.
The problem with spring is that the weather makes my joints hurt sometimes now.
I'll be fine in the morning then sore at night and then fine the next morning.
One night I woke Mommy up at 3 a.m. and demanded an aspirin and then the next
morning refused to come into the house until she threw the ball for me for 10
minutes. She says it is like living with two dogs. I was extra sore for awhile
because I got an ear infection. Mommy thinks I got it from rolling in the rat
poop by the feed store. I'm not sure if that's the case, but it took over a
week for Mommy to get it to go away. I didn't help much because I don't like
having the yucky ear stuff put in my ears. I have learned to let Mommy clean my
ears with cotton and swabs since she hasn't actually pulled my brains out
through my ear-hole yet, but if you don't have the yucky ear stuff put in it
takes longer to get rid of the infection.
Also, I managed to pop my left hip out somehow a couple weeks ago. I'm not sure
how I did it and neither is Mommy, but I had to have a quick visit to the
chiropractor so she could put it back in place. When Mommy asked if I needed to
see the chiropractor I ran to the door. Mommy said, no I couldn't go now
because Mommy had to make an appointment for me and then go have something
called "taxes" done, but when she got back from taxes we'd go. When she got
back from taxes I ran to the door. She put my leash on me and I went straight
to the garage. She said, no I had to take a walk to loosen up first so I
reluctantly did. Then when we got home I stood by the garage. Mommy tried to
get me to come in the house while she got her purse and stuff, but I refused, so
she knew I really needed the doctor. Mommy thought I had hurt my RIGHT leg
because of the way I was limping, but the chiropractor told her it was my left
one that was bad. When she went to pop the hip back in place she told Mommy it
was going to hurt me. Mommy held me tighter and the vet popped the hip in. I
didn't yipe, but I turned around and smiled my biggest smile at the vet. She
said she was surprised I didn't yelp because most dogs do when she has to do
that. I guess I am extra brave. When my appointment was finished I went out
and jumped up on the receptionist's counter to try to eat the treats that were
up there, so Mommy knew I was feeling a lot better.
When we got home Mommy put up her hammock. She discovered that the mice had
eaten some of the ropes over the winter even though Mommy had hung the hammock
up in the garage. She says those garage mice are pushing their luck now, but I
know she won't do anything about them. She thinks they are cute for some
reason. I think they look tasty. Anyway, Mommy went to lie in the hammock and
read and I climbed in with her. Mommy said it probably wasn't a very good idea
because she didn't know if the remaining ropes and her repair job would hold
her, much less both of us, and she didn't want to have to turn around and go
right back to the chiropractor, but the hammock held and we had a nice relaxing
afternoon.
Finally, last weekend Mommy was in the back yard burying a gerbil from work who
had died and I was lying in the sun relaxing when Cody the boxer next door came
out and ran up to Mommy barking and jumping and jumping and barking. I walked
up to Mommy and stood by her quietly and glared at Cody to try to get him to go
away, but he is too goofy to get the hint and he kept jumping and barking. I
was PERFECT and didn't say anything mean to him. Mommy told me to back off a
bit since it was hard for her to dig with me pressed against her and I did. I
was lying a couple feet from her when Cody jumped up and got his front leg hung
up on the fence. He had almost gone over accidentally!! Mommy quickly shoved
him back to his side, but she was worried that that was way too close for
comfort. About an hour later when Mommy was working in the front yard Cody's
dad came over and told Mommy that next week Cody and Sadie are going to their
grandma's house and they are going to take down the chain link fence between our
yards and put up a 6 foot stockade fence instead. Mommy doesn't like stockade
fences because they block the view, but she thinks it is for the best since Cody
can't learn to behave like a good neighbor and she'd hate to have him actually
accidently end up in our yard. Also, since the neighbors seem to be trying to
have their screen porch fall down naturally rather than fix it she won't have to
see the mess that it is when we are in our hammock. So, anyway, next week I'll
have a brief period of time where I'll have a HUGE yard, but Mommy says that I
will have to be out on a tie out and not playing in Cody's yard and after that
there will be no more fence fighting incidents, although Mommy knows that Cody
is going to still run up to the stockade fence and bark when I'm in the yard. I
however will probably not bother to bark back as that would be silly, since
there is a big wall between us.
Because I was such a good dog with Cody I got to go to the now open for the
season Tastee Freeze and get a Pup Cup that afternoon!! We were surprised to
learn that they don't give out Pup Cups anymore, instead they give out Pup Cones
which are little tiny cones with vanilla frozen yogurt and a milkbone flavor
treat on top! It was wonderful. I always get the butt end of Mommy's cone, but
I've never gotten a cone of my own before. I ate the whole thing in three
bites. Mommy didn't even have time to lick her own ice cream cone before I had
finished mine. We walked home with Mommy eating her cone and I still got the
butt end of hers when she was done, so I think the Pup Cones are a great thing.
Mommy isn't so sure.
April 21,
2009
This month, as predicted last month, some men came to our house early one
Saturday and rang the doorbell. It was the neighbors' fence guy telling us that
they were there and about to take down our fence so if I wanted to go out and
pee I needed to go now. Mommy let me out, but I didn't want to pee. I wanted
to talk to the fence guys. Mommy gave up and called me back in and we got
dressed and went for a walk. When we came back home there was no fence between
our yard and Cody's yard and the guys had put in a fence post. Mommy pointed
out that the post was 2 inches too close to the property line and they were
going to encroach on our land, when they put the stockade face up so, instead of
moving the one post back two inches the fence guys slowly drifted the posts to
the right spot by the other end of the property. So at the front of the house
they are on our property and at the back they are not. It looks kinda silly,
but Mommy is happy because it leaves a hole for the small animals to come and
go. Anyway, they didn't put the whole fence up the first day so the first night
I had to go out on a leash with Mommy so I wouldn't run off. Needless to say,
when I got out in the yard on a leash I forgot why I was out there and then
Mommy and I came back in. This was extra fun because that night it was COLD and
SNOWING A LOT and Mommy grumbled and grumbled. The next morning the guys
finished putting up the fence, but there was 6 inches of snow on the ground and
they didn't want to bother shoveling the snow away so there are spots where the
fence is about 4 inches off the ground and Sadie can fit half her body under and
Cody can fit his nose under.
Cody decided that if he can fit his nose under he should dig and try to fit the
rest of him under too, so Mommy took some of our railroad ties and put them up
against the fence to discourage that. Sadie still barks at everything that
passes in the back of their house and Cody still runs along the fence and barks
at me and tries to get me to fence fight him, but since I can't see him anymore
and I know he can't get over the fence I don't worry about him at all. I did
run up to the fence with the intention of biting his nose when I saw it poked
under one of the high spots, but Mommy saw me and yelled no and then put another
railroad tie up. I think if she had let me bite Cody, he might think twice
about digging under.
Because of the new fence the stupid feral kitties seem to think their
territories have changed so they started having kitty fights in our backyard.
One morning Mommy let me out and she didn't see that there was a grey tabby
sitting in the middle of the yard. I saw the kitty though and I took off after
him. I was about three inches from his fuzzy tail tip for the entire zig-zagged
chase around the yard. Silly cat first thought he could get out through the no
longer existant gap at the front of the fence then he ran to the gate and ran
under and I just missed catching him. Later that day when Mommy and I took our
walk we saw that tabby across the road and when he saw me he FLEW across the
road and to the house of the lady who feeds him. He hasn't come near our
property since.
Then that evening Mommy let me out and there was a grey tabby with white socks
in the yard. I took off after him and we ran a zig-zag course around the yard
until he finally went up a tree. I stood under the tree and barked at him and
jumped up trying to pull him out of the tree. Mommy let me do this for five
minutes then she came out to make me come in. Just as I was about to leave the
tree the kitty decided he should climb out to the end of a limb and jump off
into the neighbor's yard, but the limb was springier than he expected and he
fell off the branch and practically landed on my head! I was so shocked I
didn't think to bite him and he took off and I took off after him and he ran up
the corner of the fence and into the bushes on the other side and I ran back to
Mommy so very proud of myself. We haven't seen grey tabby with white socks
since that evening. Maybe he decided another neighborhood might be safer.
Anyway, that night my right rear leg started to really hurt. I couldn't jump up
on the bed and could barely manage to climb up on it. I didn't want to put much
weight on my leg either. Mommy said I probably pulled something chasing those
kitties and she gave me an aspirin and I felt a little better, but it was about
a week before I really started to feel more like my normal self. Since I wasn't
limping on the weekend Mommy and I went for a six mile hike, but I was sure
tired at the end of it. We found some new benches to sit on at one spot on the
hike and Mommy says when the weather finally gets warm we will pack a lunch and
a book and hike to the bench and then have a long relaxing sit-down. I can't
wait for good hikes.
The next week after the hike I was finally feeling good in the hind leg
department and was able to jump up on the bed again and put all my weight on my
leg. Mommy was happy and I was too since I was able to play ball again. Then
we took a walk and I saw a bunny in one of the yew bushes on my walk. I dove
into the bush to get the bunny and the bunny ran out the back side of the bush.
So I spy hopped to see where he was going and somehow lost my ballance on my
hind legs and fell backwards into the bush and then rolled out sideways and
landed "WHUMP!" on the sidewalk on my right hind leg! When I got up I couldn't
put ANY weight on my leg at all and Mommy was afraid she was going to have to
take me to the vet (and was wondering how we were going to get the five blocks
home), but after a few blocks I could put some weight on the leg and when we got
home Mommy gave me an aspirin and went to work. When she got home I was still
very very sore so she gave me another aspirin and we went to bed. That night I
threw up twice so Mommy called the vet and told her what had happened and when
Mommy said, "he re-injured his right hind leg" the vet said, "Ya think?" Mommy
was worried that she was going to mess up my tummy with the aspirin, but the vet
said it was okay to give me one a day and if I needed two Mommy had to give me a
Pepcid first. Mommy decided to drop me down to one, so I have been a very
unhappy limpy dog for for the past week while my leg has been re-healing. The
vet says I am my own worst enemy.
Another thing that happened this month is that Auntie Naomi came into town and
didn't come visit me, but she saw Mommy and she gave Mommy a bag with a jar that
belonged to Mommy and a news clipping. When Mommy came home with the bag I knew
it was from Auntie Naomi and wanted to look in it for my present, because Auntie
Naomi ALWAYS gives me presents, but Mommy said I shouldn't be such a greedy gus
and there was no present for me. She showed me the bag and what was in it, but
I didn't want to believe that there was no present. Mommy put the empty bag in
the center of the kitchen table and I jumped up on a chair and tried to take the
bag, but Mommy caught me and put the bag in the recycle bin under some recyling.
Then later that night I got into the recyling and pulled the bag out and tore it
open looking for my present, but there wasn't one. I finally had to admit that
I wasn't getting anything afterall and I went into the livingroom with a big
sigh and sat with Mommy. Auntie Naomi says she feels like a mean old grump now,
but Mommy says I DO NOT need a present every time Auntie Naomi comes to town.
Speaking of people owing me things. The other day when I went to the feed store
loading dock for my milkbone the guys were busy getting something for a customer
who was parked by the loading dock. I said hi to the customer and then I
noticed that the back of her car was open and she had a big brand new unopened
bag of Farm and Fleet bones in it. I stared and stared at the bag. The lady
saw me looking and said to Mommy, "Can he have a bone?" Mommy said I didn't
need a bone because the loading dock guys would give me one, but the lady said,
"Oh, he needs a bone." and opened the bag and gave me one! Then the loading
dock guys came out and gave me a bone too! Mommy told the loading dock guys
that I was now mooching off the customers and they thought that was funny. Then
the customer and the loading dock guys each gave Mommy an extra bone for her to
take home and give me later! When we got home Mommy forgot she had the bones in
her pocket and just draped her coat on the chair. I didn't forget about them
though because I got both of them out and ran off to eat them before Mommy even
knew what I was up to. Mommy is concerned that I will now think that every
customer at the loading dock should give me a bone, but so far nobody has had a
big bag of bones in their cars. I've checked.