Profiles

In alphabetical order

Aconita Silversmith
Race: Human
Rank: Constable
Age: 37
Height: 5' 9"
Weight: Enough not to fall of the broomstick
Hair: Mousy, but dyed an interesting auburn colour
Eyes: Blue
Background: I was born in Lancre and studied witching under Granny Glover. After qualifying I decided to spend some time in Ankh-Morpork (15 yrs so far) and have recently joined the watch as it was that or the scorpion pit.

Aeryn Sedai
Rank: Constable
Species: Human
Sex: Female
Age: Late twenties (or so she claims)
Height: 5'9''
Weight: None of your business
Eyes: One blue, one green
Hair: Black
Weapon: Anything pointy
Background: Born in one of those dreary villages everyone forgets the name of and Americans think are 'quaint'. Ran away from home when I was 15, I spent most of the rest of my life on the streets of Ankh Morpork until someone picked me up and tried to arrest me for loitering. I thought, what a great job. Even I could do that. And here I am.
In May 2001 Constable Aeryn Sedai went missing while protecting her colleagues from the Auditors. She is greatly missed and we still hope that one day she might return.

Angelica Rose
Rank: Recruit
Species : human (ish)
Age : 17
Height: 5' 5"
Weight: 49 kilos
Eyes: purple
Hair: purple
Weapon: her magic
Background: mysterious. A mountain village where things went horribly wrong. So she left and came to join the Watch. She is also followed by a disembodied voice.

Beaky Largefoot
Rank: Constable
Species: Dwarf
Sex: Dwarf
Height: err 6'2"
Weight: Unknown
Eyes: Brown
Hair: Brown
Beard: Long
Weapon: Axe
Background: I was born near (read under) Bonk in Uberwald but an unfortunate accident in an area of high magical background rendered me a little different to the usual dwarves, I'm a little over six foot, which is not a good height to be ina Dwarf mine let me tell you, so as a young homeless dwarf I came to Ankh-Morpork. Here after working in many jobs for relatives I found my way to the alchemists guild where I found a natural aptitude for the work, unfortunately I left the guild via the roof with much of the guild council and find my self unemployed, so here I am.

Ben T'Gaidin
Rank: Constable
Species: Human
Sex: Male
Age: 20-something
Height: Just shy of six feet
Weight: Just over 120 lbs
Eyes: Blue
Hair: Blond
Weapon: Sword, knife
Background: Born in the outlying regions of Ankh-Morpork, I came to the city some few years ago, and promptly joined the Watch. (It was hiring, and seemed to need the help.) Family is out there somewhere.

Bethal
Rank: Recruit
Sex: Female (Very)
Age: 22
Height: 6'1''
Weight 140lb
Eyes: Green
Hair: Dark brown
Weapon: Sword or Dagger
Background: My mother is unaware of my fathers name so I wasn't given a surname. I grew up in a boarding house which my mother has run for many years. Due to my height it has been difficult for me to get a job so I joined the watch. Mum wanted me to carry on working at the boarding house with her, but I can't see the point of laying on your back for a living.

Bigfoot
Rank: Recruit
Species: Human (barely)
Sex: Male
Age: 15
Height: 6ft 1 inch
Weight: less than most
Eyes: red most of the time (occasionally greeny)
Hair: Brown with a blonde patch
Weapon: expert aim with numerous projectiles, good with knifes, well at brawling
Background:
Education: Trained at assassins guild, but felt lacking in morals, quit after 6 years, but then self taught.
Family: Distantly related to lady Ramkin/Vimes, Mother: Lady Davis, Father: Sir Davis
Comments: I believe I have what it takes to go far in the watch, With my education and inside information in the workings of the guilds and my personality, I would hope to rise through the ranks and make friends as I go.

Bones
Species: Gnome
Gender: Male
Weight: What for?
Height: 6.5 inches
Eyes: Present
Hair: Blonde/brown
Rank: Corporal
Weapon: Myself, bone club fashioned from a chimera's leg bone, anything (or anyone) else I can lay my hands on.
Background: I'm an adolecent gnome. I left my cosy mushroom back home because I heard my cousin Swires was doing so well and had already been promoted to constable. Also it looked like a good doss, you even get to beat people up for free!!!! (Easy on those exclamation marks, you zany character).

Name: Boynd (Brenda Olga Yolanda Northernhill D'Quirm)
Rank: Lance-Constable
Species: Human
Sex: Female
Age: 17
Height: 5'3''
Weight: It doesn't matter
Eyes: Black
Hair: No (because of the dragons. Otherwise it would be black)
Weapon: Anything I can hold. And a pet dragon if that counts.
Background: I was born as the fifth child of the Duke of Quirm, the only daughter. My mum died soon after, I have no memories of her. Dad never had time for me, so I was practically brought up by my Aunt Brenda and her pet dragons. Growing up with my brothers meant that I learned to defend myself quite early, not to say in the cradle. At the age of 12 Dad sent me to the Quirm College for Young Ladies, where I spent most of my time with terrorizing the other girls. When after a few years there was not one professor that would have tolerated me in the classroom, Dad decided to send me to the Guild of Assassins in Ankh-Morpork. But they don't let you keep pets (and I won't go anywhere without Buddy, my pet dragon) and I think that killing people for money isn't much fun, and anyway, black doesn't suit me, so I changed my name (after all, who wants to go around with a name like a pet dragon's) and decided to join the watch instead. Dad wasn't too happy, because the assassins are much more elegant, but he doesn't really care because I'm not there to make trouble.

Clarkmeister I'm of human origins, early twenties going on mid-life crisis! work in travel and love to drink...methinks I'm one of those overly sober people, too much klatchian coffee in the morning!

Dug Cryophase
Rank: Captain
Species: Troll
Height: Tall
Weight: Lots
Eyes: Yes
Hair: No
Weapon: Dis big Crossbow here
Background: Grew up in der mountains. Dad has a big mountain, and I've always been know as 'a chip off der old block'. I wanted to make something of my life. Not be daddy's little pebble. I came to der big city in search of action and excitement. If there was any action and excitement to be found...it had to be in der big city. Ah....ummmm.....guess I was wrong. My uncle left der mountains some years ago. I saw him in der city and he had changed his name. Everybody refers to him as Chrysoprase. It's an insult to the family name. He is some big guy in der streets, but, I will bring him down one day

Kloie
Rank: Recruit
Race: Human
Sex: Female
Age: 21
Height: 176cm
Weight: 60kg
Eyes: Brown
Hair: Dirty blond
Weapon: Don't know yet
Background: Unknown. She was found in Ankh-Morpork few days ago with one Troll. He showed her the way to the nearest shop and taped her on the head which knocked her out of conscience ( off course he didn't do it on purpose it's just that trolls are made of stone). Since then she has amnesia and remembers nothing from her past.Under the circumstances she decided to join the watch and find out something about her past life or just start a new one.

Lady Vivacity Rosebud Velvet
Rank: Recruit.
Species: Human (with a "questionable" Uber ancestor)
Sex: Female
Age: You should NEVER ask a Lady that question!
Height: 5 foot 1 inch
Weight: Well just because I am tiny doesn't mean I can't do a good job!
Eyes: Dark olive/brown
Hair: Curly dark brown
Weapon: Darling little cat'o'nine tails and the steel 5" heels on my thigh high boots (it is unintentional ... bad boys just seem to end up under my feet)
Background: Rather good actually. Only daughter of Admiral Lord Wavee Velvet and Lady Auricula Desdemona Beauvent. Country seat at Strutt Peacock Manor. I have an exceptionally good top floor apartment in Ankh with balcony views over the city, which I share with Princess Molindra (great-granddaughter of Death of Cats) and my servant Rangee Malone, an ex-thief turned sailor, who has known me from childhood. Parents are just a tad shocked at my desire to earn my living and have cut off my allowances, but I have learnt that there is more to the City than meets the eye of my privileged friends.

Margretha von Draconswald
Rank: Lance-Constable
Species: Werewolf
Sex: Female
Age: well, lets just say I've seen more than one century out
Height: 6 feet
Weight: 9 stone
Eyes: Grey
Hair: Black
Weapon: Prefer hand to hand combat, but can use a short sword Background: Born in the Uberwald to Baron and Baroness von Draconswald, I was brought up in a traditional werewolf family. Eventually I felt that I needed more independence however and so I moved to Ankh Morpork as it seemed to be a city with opportunities. When I arrived though I discovered that there were few respectable careers for women, or at least ones where people aren't concerned about lunar affected dispositions, and so I joined the Watch.

Mavis Cruit
Rank: Recruit
Species: Anthropomorphic personification
Sex: She may be little, but she's a whole lot of woman
Age: Unknown, but she acts as if she's in her late twenties
Height: Not much, I'm afraid
Weight: Heavier than air
Eyes: Penetratingly blue
Hair: Very blonde, bubble-permed (hey, it was someone else's idea of a tooth fairy, okay!)
Weapon: Magic wand, although it's more likely to be a danger to her than anyone else.
Background: Popped into existence when some annoyingly saccharin-sweet child make-believed that they knew exactly what a tooth fairy looked like, then Reality came along and decided it would be a bit of a larf. Thankfully, over the many years of serving as a denture-collecting benefactor, she has developed a disturbingly REAL personality. Can't be helped when dealing with so many children (yuck). She isn't fluffy. She isn't sweet. And she definitely isn't NICE.

Peet the Barbarian
Rank: Lance-Constable
Species: Human
Sex: Yes please, (sorry, traditional hubland joke!) Male
Age: Same as tongue, older than teeth.
Height: Tall
Weight: less than my horse.
Background: From Hubland, grew up in yurt, ate horse meat, drank horse milk, gathered horse plop for fire. Selected for barbarian academy at age 21 when it was discovered I could count to 11 without taking my sandals off. Came to Ankh Morpork to crush jewelled throne of vetinari beneath my sandalled feet, and was promptly mugged in Shades.

Squall
Rank: Recuit
Sex: Male
Age: Early/MidLate Twenties
Height: 6ft 1"
Weight: Your guess is as good as mine
Eyes: Two, both blue
Weapon: The nearest thing that will cause a great deal of pain and /or damage to whoever it hits.
Background: Squall's parents were both born and bred in Sto Lat. While expecting Squall his mother ran way from home (pregnent, not married, dissaproving parents, etc.) and found a home in the whore pits of the Shades. Her occupation was questionable but it made ends meet. A few years ago Squall's mother left the Shades and moved back to Sto Lat leaving Squall to fend for himself. He moved in to a small apartment in heroes street next to Woo Hon Lings Oriental Excotia and Martial Aids, and has set off for a carreer in the watch. Squall grew up in the Shades so he knows what goes on in Ankh-Morpork (well he knows as much as he needs to know in order to stay alive, he also pretends not to know certain things in order to stay alive). Squall is also a coward(this point is debatable, as some would say that Squall was just smart enougth to run away in the first place) but fights when he has too, with his uniqe fighting methods (a good kick to the knackers always seems to do the trick) and skilled running Squall coul be of good use to the watch.

Stig Cirrusminersson
Rank: Sergeant
Race: Dwarf
Height: Short
Weight: Not too much
Eyes: Blue
Hair: Damp; long beard, also damp.
Weapon: A big metal axe. (Recently acquired... an axe is an unusually shaped lightening rod in a rain mine)
Background: It rains a lot in Lllamedos. They have rain mines there, vast underground seams of clouds formed from prehistoric quantum weather butterflies in the same way coal is formed from other creatures in less soaked areas of the Disc. The mines are a source of new water to replace the water lost over the Edge, and the dwarfs of Llamedos make a healthy profit exporting rain to Klatch.
Unfortunately, the mines don't endear the dwarfs to the local druids; Llamedos may be the only place on the Disc where dwarfs get along better with trolls than humans. Stig came from there to Ankh-Morpork, because he heard even the rivers aren't really wet here. He is a hard-working, soggy, and competent dwarf looking for a chance away from sickles and 1200% humidity.

Tzitzitlini
Rank: Corporal
Race: Human
Sex: Male
Age: Early twenties
Height: 5' 9"
Weight: 170
Eyes: Brown
Hair: Brown
Weapon: Crossbow or Sword...depending on my mood
Background: Family background's a bit of a jumble. Mum never caught the guy... Always wanted to be a copper. Get to wear a badge. I respect the authority of the law and would really like to catch that guy who did that to mum and knock him on the head. I'm a man of few words but many actions. Most of the time anyway.

Vladya von Uberflussen
Rank: Constable
Species: Vampire
Sex: Female
Age: Lost count at fourhundred-something
Height: Depends on how tall I want to be
Weight: Have been trying to avoid that
Eyes: Greenish red
Hair: Black (like the night and other stuff like that)
Weapon: My teeth, for one thing. Biting people doesn't automatically mean sucking their blood (or liquids, anyway). Also trained in hand-to-hand combat, meaning no sharp and/or pointy weapons involved.
Background: Your basic vampire family-story: formerly the daughter of a human count, bitten by a vampire to be his wife. Couldn't stand the guy anymore after two centuries, and killed him. I've been the terror of the region for a while, until the peasants had enough and drove me away. Since the Watch seems to welcome any being interested in ungrateful work, I came to join. Please keep me away from pointy stakes, holy water and sunny summer days.

Wee Mad Alli
Species: Human (female)
Rank: Commander
Height: 5'6"
Weight: Didn't your mother teach you that its rude to ask a lady things like that?
Eyes: Green
Hair: Too much of it
Weapon: Anything that happens to be within reach
Background: I grew up in the shades and had to learn to look after myself at a young age, or risk not ever reaching an older one. I though about joining the seamstresses, but then discovered that that there are certain things a girl should be told before she reaches the age where she has to go out and find a job, especially if she's about to go out and spend a fortune on needles and thread. So I joined the watch and the rest is history.

Woodsnake1
Rank:Lance-Constable
Race:Klatchian (D'reg)
Sex:Male
Age:35
Height:6'2"
Weight:13 stones
Eyes:Brown
Hair:Brown,
Weapons:Innumerable
Background: Father was a Tribe Leader and as he wished that i gain an all round education he packed me off to the Assassins Guild. During this time I learned not only the ways of an assassin but also respect for Ankh-Morporks City Watch. However, i fell in with a bad crowd(from the Guild's point of view at least) and became a pacifist,i was subsequently thrown out of the Guild in my final year. I returned home but was disowned by father for sullying the family name. I have since travelled throughtout the disk but like millions before me found that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork! Having gained respect for the watch in my formative years i believe my skills may be of some use(besides i need the money, an anti-assassins wardrobe is expensive!).