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February, 2003

2/27/03-Vindictive and sadistic he spoke not to clarify but to obfuscate and manipulate truth not his strong suit nor self-disclosure with beef butter and cheese he filled his capillaries emotionally shallow meager of insight egocentric anal most successful at siring his pack of progeny he looked and behaved like a rhino cultivated his vestigial reptilian brain a nineteenth century man easily riled impatient aggressive controlling tyrannical officious paranoid neurotic yet full and beauteous of singing voice intellectually curious in a few things all too charmingly human for his multiple faults a magnet for a touching allegiance among his victim heirs socratic questioning math investing ranching handyman talents his burned body molecules swept by the winds have mingled with those of the rich and the destitute the brilliant and the fools his life both less and more than many a small disturbance in the time continuum a filler of flatulent space he was my dad I loved him...

2/10/03-Snakes thicker than earthworms after heavy rains underfoot squirming striking where trod upon I'd come in during the night first going to the corner grocery and cafe truck stop for coffee a paper the news not good the java lukewarm I'd taken a space at the adjoining motel the traffic a bestial roar in constant cry I'd used the antiseptic restroom sat down on the bed to take off my shoes massaged my feet and fallen asleep without undressing exhausted after the cross-country drive I'd stayed barely a step ahead of venomous reptiles smashing them just before being bitten the mass of their still writhing forms becoming slippery my stance unsure sliding the injured creature parts kept growing new heads their numbers like microscopic metastatic lesions rising till legion their fangs pricked like the jabs cuts or tears of needles and scalpels from the last surgery I woke up to find several vipers wrapped about legs feet called the nearest woman to help grab a CO2 extinguisher I shouted freeze them I'd pleaded but she'd returned with a bag of ice we don't got nothin' better she'd said it's no use that will just alarm them they'll bite she ignored me dumped the cubes out on them they struck of course again and again intense pain the feeling with body heat retreated from my limbs two of the entwined serpents advanced up my trunk onto my chest then stared into my eyes unblinking inexorably waiting all movement ceasing even breathing inside still much screaming awoke yet again and mercifully there's no memory for the rest...

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