Three Dogs, Two 'Cats' and a Cat

By Troy Morash

 

A few years ago there were two noble pigs that wanted to join an even nobler cat for dinner. They thought, 'That is the only way to be nobler, to be with nobler people.' They must have known what they were talking about, as they were making every effort to be noble. They bathed once a week, they used a fork, they listened to Bach, they even went to the toilet privately but nothing had worked and no one thought they were very noble. They were just about to give up when the idea occurred to them to make acquaintances with the noble cat.

However the noble cat would have nothing of it. She was so noble that she didn't need to have anyone else about making noise for her. The pigs were determined though, since they were still fairly noble. They had heard that once a week the noble cat had a very noble dinner party for her most noble of friends. There were no invitations; nobility was enough to get one through the noble doors. The two pigs set to work early in the day; they glued pine needles to their snouts for whiskers, tied rope to their tales and donned themselves in black-tarred grass to pass as cat fur. Thus they thought they could pretend to be cats and if they were in the right place at the right time they might get to dine nobly with the noble cat.

This is fine in the mind but unpleasant in the present, for on their way to the cat's palace, three beasts that bark, which had just been invented, whom we now call dogs, attacked the two poor piggycats and chewed them up as dogs will do from time to time. The dogs were pleased and in all likelihood the two pigs would have been pleased to hear the three dogs say afterwards that that was a fairly noble meal.

Anyway the point is, that the noble cat was in the end able to enjoy her noble meal alone and in peace and quiet, as no one was noble enough to attend. It was her granddaughter who called me and asked if I could write it down to be published just to serve as a warning to other piggycats. You see, the reason is this: she is even nobler and she does not want to be disturbed as her noble grandmother almost was. Later she asked me, 'Troy, what is a piggycat anyway? Could there be anything less noble then something that isn't what it is, that doesn't even exist?'

'I don't know,' I said. I don't think I understood the question properly.

 

© 2002 Troy Morash. All Rights Reserved.