The Relics of things to come

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The Relics of things to come
by Troy Morash
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A collection of short stories based on the adventures of four very different people living in the mythical Soviet Union in the year 2044. Pavel (Pasha) Ivanovich Bearin, Maria Alexandrovna Stupedskaya, Mikhail Mikhailovich Donsky and Lev Mitrovanovich Ulyanov. Each Story can be read on its own, however they are loosely connected as the lives of four characters intertwine with one another.

The collection does not attempt to prophesy what the Soviet Union would have been like had it survived but merely uses the country which no longer exists as a backdrop for ideas, characters and situations not unlike Kafka, Orwell and Bulgakov. The stories are not intended to make fun of or praise the Russian people who have indeed suffered at the hands of fanatical regimes. Even though Russian people are the basis of these characters, they are only so because the Soviet experiment took place in Russia. It is the extreme Soviet or Stalinist psychology (the practice of doing useless, illogical things, and lack of valuation ) and not the Russian psychology that is depicted in the stories.

I may do well to add that many of the stories actually come from old Soviet political jokes written by Russians that I translated from the Russian. I have posted some of them on a separate page.

I'm beginning to wonder if these stories are just a little too out in left field for Westerners. Take a look at these reviews. I got one rejection for a story about a man who arrests himself and the editor replied by saying that she thought the Soviet Union was getting better. A friend of mine in Ukraine said I should invite her here so she can see for herself! But there is no Soviet Union, at least not in the physical sense.

I first became intrigued in this peculiar human behavior/stupidity after reading an antidote from the writer P.D. Ouspensky at the time of the Russian Revolution. He was sitting in a cafe at the railway station in Tiflis, which was crammed with soldiers. Many of them were drunk. From the window he could see that they were carrying out meetings or resolutions of some sort. During these meetings there were three "court-martials" and three men were shot on the platform. A drunken "comrade" explained to everyone afterwards that the first man had been shot for theft and the second had been shot by mistake because he had been mistaken for the first; and the third was also shot by mistake as he had been mistaken for the second.

Alas, Bulgakov just didn't have enough time to write it all down.

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The Relics of things to come

1 The Dinner Party (Pasha & Maria)
2 The Queue Inspector (Pasha Ivanovich)
3 The Iniquity of Maria Alexandrovna Stupedskaya
4 The Arrest of Mikhail Mikhailovich Donsky
5 The Soul Moochers (Lev Mitrovanovich, Maria Alexandrovna)

1 Where Does Tomorrow Come From? (John Maximovich)
2 The Beggar's Institute (Pasha Ivanovich)
3 The Fabled Document (Mikhail Mikhailovich)
4 The Trial of Maria Alexandrovna Stupedskaya
5 The Followers (Pasha Ivanovich)
6 The Consignment of Mikhail Mikhailovich Donsky (with Maria Alexandrovna)

1 The Knock (The Last Arrestee) / BEWILDERING STORIES / Volume 86
2 The Inheritor (Sergey Mikhailovich Nobeliev)
3 The Incarceration of Mikhail Mikhailovich Donsky
4 The Execution of Maria Alexandrovna Stupedskaya / MULTIVERSE / March 2004
5 The Day Everything was Worth Nothing (John Maximovich)
6 The Punishment of Lev Mitrovanovich Ulyanov
7 The Border (Pasha Ivanovich)

The Leftovers of things to come

1 The Useful Citizen
2 Nicholas Soolin's Egg (Pasha Ivanovich)
3 An Actor's Confession (Lev Mitrovanovich)
4 Planes! The Planes Are Coming! (Mikhail Mikhailovich)
5 The Guilty Cult (Lev Mitrovanovich)
6 The Homecoming (Ludmila Pavlovna)
7 The Arrest of Phillip Phillipovich Preobrazhensky
8 The Shoe
9 The Redemption of Maria Alexandrovna Stupedskaya

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Here are some REVIEWS (sort of) from editors who took the time to write one in their rejection letters and my responses (in blue) if there were any, although I never sent them. I realize now that some explaining is necessary as it is obvious these stories are very difficult to understand as they should be.

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THE REJECTION LETTER FOR THE USEFUL CITIZEN; (original and unabridged).

Hi Troy - Raskov.--as in Crime and Punishment. Um, ok. I'd be interested in this if this were more than a basic imitation - if you took Raskolnikov's personality (whose name means "split") and did some things and told some stories and made them entertaining and funny and odd in a way that undermined the idea of Raskolnikov . . . but all you really do is present a stripped down letter and the reaction, with an eye-rolling conclusion about children being our future.

The main thing I'd think about if I were you would be something like "who do you think would be reading this?" and "what would they like to read?" and "how does one go about making people happy"? I'm sorry if this message won't make you happy but you might want to think about what it is that people want to read and why and when you have an idea to write something like what you've written (a good idea), you might think a little bit about how you can work from that idea rather than just fulfilling it, how you can launch off of it and entertain people and surprise yourself etc. instead of just sort of filling the slot.

Anyway - thanks for submitting again and sorry if that makes three rejections - this ain't baseball - Editor

THE AUTHOR'S COMMENT (edited): This was not sent to the above mentioned editor simply because arguing and wasting an editor's time is a bad idea and as this is a pretty cool magazine and editor, I didn't want to risk rubbing him the wrong way. (He writes the best rejection letters! It's worth sending any old story just to get the informative and usually entertaining rejection.)

Dear Editor: The idea actually comes from Soviet literature, i.e. propaganda. I took it from a passage of Lev Sheinin's MAKING A CLEAN BREAST OF IT. This author gets my vote as being the worst writer in the history of humanity. I wonder if you have heard of him? I wove together several different passages of his, taking out many of the subtleties that lead to the illogic conclusions. As to who would want to read Soviet propaganda: your point is well taken. The eye-rolling conclusion is straight from his 'masterpiece' and I suspect it annoyed you as much as it annoyed me. You should read some of his other stuff, you'd be in a bad mood for months. But what is the point of that?

I find the mentality of Soviet literature/propaganda incredibly out of this world even though most of Sheinin's work is just sentimental rot, so appallingly short on logical development, taking liberties that massacre reason, in short: written on just the other side of believability and it makes you want to go out and distrust the first person you meet on the street. Stalin's work is of the same caliber. His essay NEVER SAY THERE IS NO BREAD is an excellent example of pretending to pretend you aren't pretending to pretend. It seems the only purpose is to give people a headache.

It never occurred to me that the story was analogous to CRIME AND PUNISHMENT but I can see the connection, primarily in the name Rashkov. I will have to change that.

It is interesting to study how far the human mind will lean towards the absurd, mistaking it for normality and seriousness, allowing its self to be deceived into believing that the absurdities of life is all there is. This piece highlights how easy it is to deceive one's self into thinking one is forgiving. But there was nothing forgiving during Stalin's reign. Yet the literature of the time and Sheinin in particular attempts to overshadow this by painting a picture of a loving and forgiving Soviet State. By reading it we can see what the people of the time must have felt in their hearts and how much, much of their literature must have made them suffer.

In any case thanks for taking the time to write a thoughtful letter. The feedback is very much appreciated and all the best in your continued efforts in publishing a topnotch literary ezine. - Troy Morashenko

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Troy Morash--

Thank you for submitting "Arrest of Mikhail", but we've decided not to accept it for publication. This story read a little too much like a Cold War era Soviet caricature, and the internal logic of the plot was a little weak.

We appreciate your interest in our magazine.

I like this magazine and hope someday to publish with them. The editor seemed to understand the essence of the story, although I would just like to add that the internal logic of the plot is more than weak, it's nonexistent! There is no logic in the plot, it is illogical from start to finish. TM

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Dear Troy,

Thank you for your submission of "That Arrest of Mikhail Donsky" and sincerest apologies for the delay in answering. For some reason, we received about 10 times the normal monthly number of submissions during
February and March, which caused quite a backlog.

Unfortunately, this story isn't quite the type of fiction we're looking for. Apart from that, I found it curious that it's set in the Soviet Union, which, as unlikely as it seems, I gather is supposed to have reformed.

Best of luck elsewhere with this piece and thank you for your interest. Again, apologies for the late response.

Nothing to add to this except that there is no Soviet Union now. TM

"The two things that will always be in Russia are bad roads and fools" -Gogol.