 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| How to Know You're an Elf |
| We at the Elf Liberation society are constantly getting desperate emails and letters from desparate persons who have suddenly discovered that they may be elves who were switched at birth with human babies, or that they are elves who were raised by humans. Sometimes, the person is unsure that they are an elf, because the signs are confusing.... So to help you in your quest, here are some signs that you, too, might be an elf.... |
 |
| You know you might be an elf when..... Your favorite soft drink is "Sprite" You talk to your houseplants....and they answer you back! You didn't have an imaginary friend as a child... you were one! You thought Mr. Spock from "Startrek" was hot. You only dig guys with long hair. You cry whenever you see a tree cut down.... and you can hear the tree cry back! You can't figure out why you can fly in your dreams, but not on earth. You find yourself angered by the Hobbitcentrism in "Lord of the Rings"...why four hobbits and only one elf? You just celebrated your 21st birthday... for the twentieth year in a row! You are secretly stocking up on green leggings, just in case they go "out of style"! No two photos of you ever look alike. You wonder why people take drugs to get high... you're like that naturally! You have to wear sunglasses outside.... so people won't be scared by the brightness of your eyes!!! Your favorite magazine.... is "Glamour"! |
 |
|