|UNSUNG VILLIANS - TAKING THE CREDIT THEY DESERVE
As Mae West once said "Honey, when i'm good I'm good. But when I'm bad....i'm better."
"Superman II" came out in 1980, and for many it would never rival the original. But for some, it brought us one of the greatest diobolical minds of our time. No - not Lex Luthor, for we quickly find how weak and inferior he is to the new poster-boy of villians - General Zod. He was banished from Krypton with two of his co-horts, Non and Ursa. Ursa was the vamp who enjoyed "blowing kisses" and Non simply liked breaking things. He found his way to Earth, a suitable place to rule. If it had not been for this...superman!
|all your base are belong to us|
Place of Origin: Krypton
Goal: To rule planet Houston (Known to some as Earth)
Favorite quote: "Kneel Before Zod!"
Talents: Effectively uses eye-lasers
|Now YOU can own Zod.
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A dog is a man's best friend. That is - until he gets rabies. Cujo not only started a mass national fear in 1983 against St. Bernards, but the name "cujo" has become synonymous with "rabid"..whether you have seen the movie or not. Ten years later his reputation would be forever tarnished by the family film "Beethoven". Cujo not only terrorized a mother and her son in this movie based on a Stephen King novel, but showed that every dog has it's day.
|What Cujo taught me:
1. Cell Phone: dont leave home without it.
2. If your dog is growling at you and foaming at the mouth - do not approach it while repeating "Whats the matter boy?"
3. Dogs can and will headbutt a dent in your car
4. Rednecks should not taunt rabid dogs when all that lies between them is a screen door.
5. Cars will always die when you most need them.
6. Saying "the monster prayer" doesn't work!
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|Ming the Merciless|
|"Flash Gordon" (1980). While the superhero is very generic, the villian is deliciously evyil. Ming wants nothing more than what any ruler wants, to destroy things for fun and have people throw themselves on their swords to prove loyalty to Ming! He also wants to take Flash's girlfriend, Dale, as a concubine. Soundtrack rocks by Queen, intentionally campy but a little dark. His sexy daughter Aura is a naughty little girl - and even she isn't immune to the wrath of Ming! Lavish costumes and all kinds of alien characters. Heil Ming - you will always be ruler|
Profession: Emporer of the Universe
His Favorite Posession: Magic glowing ring that controls minds and has women remove their clothes!
Likes: Destroying Earth, torture, using his glow-ring to satisfy his perverse nature, flashy outfits, concubines, hearing the sound of his evil laughter, mind control
Dislikes: Traitors, blondes, weakness, football
Motto: I like to play with things awhile, before annihilation
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|"Big Trouble in Little China" (1986)
Here's an immortal villian that won't let death and saggin old skin get in the way of ruling the Universe! Lo Pan is a heavyweight, albiet a deadweight, who just needs a green-eyed girl to help regain his youthful physical form. Sorcery and ancient lore lurk in Chinatown. A roughneck trucker named Jack Burton is becoming a nuisance to his plan. But Lo Pan finds not one, but two green eyed girls. Now he can have his cake and eat it too! While Burton's macho hero-like character becomes the most quoted and noted, Lo Pan is the heart of the film. Just be sure when you come to Chinatown, not to piss off immortal sorcerer's!
|About LO PAN:
Characteristics: exceptionally long fingernails, stylish dresser, sense of humor
Skills: Can shoot fire from the mouth, teleportation, mind reader, immortal
Seeks: Green eyed girl, willing or not, to marry. Must be open to being disposed of after the wedding.
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|Lord of Darkness|
Who more would like to see the world of light and goodness destroyed? Darkness! His beastly physique was menacing as he set out to please his father by killing the last unicorns and the world will be turned upside down when the sun will no longer rise. Then he can reign supreme! He enjoys the nature of the animal in everyone. But he was not without desires, there was a girl. He wanted to corrupt her, to change her, he wanted to give her his heart. Hey, lords of darkness need love too! But it's always some meddling boy that ruins the fun, darkness was banished into the void. But not without emparting us with his words of wisdom:
"What is light without dark? I am a part of you all. You can never defeat me. We are brothers eternal."
Place of Origin: Hell
Idol: his father
Enjoys: influencing the dreams of mankind, young virgins he can bring to the darkside
Dislikes: Innocence, fairies, light
Assets: Big horns, ripped physique, poetic
Quote: "The dreams of youth become the regrets of maturity"
Talent: Can walk through mirrors
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|"Stephen King's It"
Pennywise plays a villian with unholy feverishness that will have you running under the blankets in terror. You just might be taking a shower one day or walking near a drain and notice a balloon, but if you see him poking out with those unsightly sharp teeth, run for your life! While the film had an ending that leaves many unsatisfied, rest assured that he will leave an impression on you. He's the villian that will have you scared to leave the lights ON.
Hair Color: Red
Job: Out of work clown, self employed maniac
Best feature: Frightfully sharp teeth
Located: Drain, or anyplace you don't expect
Personality: Dark sense of humor
Quote: "Oh yes, we all float - and when you're down here with us, you'll float too!!"
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