Oh what unhappy twist of fate has brought you, homeless to my gate?
The gate where once another stood to beg for shelter, warmth and food.
For from that day, I ceased to be the master of my destiny.
While he, with purr and velvet paw became within my house, The Law.
He scratched the furniture and shed, and claimed the middle of my bed.
He ruled in arrogance and pride, and broke the heart the day he died.
So if you really think, oh cat, I'd willingly relive all that because you come, forlorn and thin,
Well...don't just stand there...come on in!
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eyes have the power to speak a great language." ~ Martin Buber
a) Humans have three primary functions: to feed us, to play with and give
attention to us, and to clean the litterbox. It is important to maintain one's
Dignity when around humans so that they will not forget who is the master
of the house.
b) A dignified cat may fetch a ball for its human, but if the human persists in
continually throwing the ball away, assume that the human truly does not
want it, and leave it.
c) Make as much noise as possible, then look innocently at the dog and fish
when your human storms into the room and turns on the lights.
d) Any small item is a potential toy. If your human tries to confiscate it, this
means that it is a Good Toy.
e) Bright shiny things like keys, broaches or coins should be hidden so that
others can't play with them.
f) It is your duty to lie on items of clothing to get your beautiful fur on them.
If there is a choice, choose either the cleanest item or the item which contrasts
most strongly with your fur. If your human protests, act cute.
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