my own definition. Although a lot of SIers do have the same definition as i do, i am not a doctor, nor am i a shrink. I have lived with this disorder for over 10 years. I guess i have a good idea as to what the hell it is.
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Self Injury *self harm, self mutalation* is by far NOT an attempt at suicide. Usually a person who has this borderline personality disorder does not want to kill themselves, they just want relief to the overwhelming hurt they feel in the inside. The mental pain that we feel is magnafied from our own lack of being able to think things through rationally. I mean, something that anyone else could think to be a small thing, our minds make us belive that it is worse then what it actually is. Also, we can be triggered without even knowing why. I have had times where i can be sitting there doing something like watching TV, drawing< working or whatever.... and all of a sudden i feel like my best friend just died. That pain in the guy you feel when your scared. Where did that come from? That can make things worse. Frustrating as hell. Our minds wont even let us watch TV.
Self Ijurers are usually prety out going people. There use to hiding it, and sometimes don't even realize they are. They are not doing it to get your attention! They are not doing it cause it's cool. There doing it cause the mantal pain they feel is so bad, they need to take it away with a temporay pain that is easier to cope with. Sometimes We cut because we feel so god damn numb we are unsure even if we are still alive. Seeing our own blood reminds us that we are here. Sometimes we cut to punnish ourselves. Even just to have something that we can control.. We do not cut for fun.
To other self harmers: Send me your definition. Tell me why you cut..? I will post it on this page.
my_pain_will_drip@yahoo.com
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